sexy thoughts, to have sex or not to have sex.. god damn it  

rm_acheron8234 34M
4 posts
6/26/2006 10:34 pm

Last Read:
6/27/2006 7:01 am

sexy thoughts, to have sex or not to have sex.. god damn it


as one respondent put it, fusbol matches are my own personal orgasms. or something to that definite effect directed me back to the more permanent or rather enjoyable nature of the human condition. sweet, fun, great sex.. today after the switzerland game today i got a call from my old ex from two years ago and it occurs to me that i haven't really had a serious relationship since. and it was then during the time i was involved in a long distance relationship with her that i began or rather discovered my interest in the lifestyle. when we were involved we never had the ability to be together in any carnal sense because of distance. but based on our present conversations she still harbors certain feelings of a sexual nature toward me and whats more is that even still she has remained a virgin. based on her stated sexual needs, why this is i cant imagine. but this presents issues to me on a moral level.
firstly, let it be said that i practice safe sex. her and i have always openly discussed sex. i feel odd being the one to take her virginity when i make it clear that i will not again be her boyfriend since at this point in my life i dint see/subscribe to the ideas of marriage or want children where as that is her clear stated life goal. but more importantly she also has no idea that i have been, in my limited sense, active in the lifestyle. although she knew i was never a virgin when we were involved, she has no idea the extent of my sexual activity. and though i don't plan to come out and say "Hey ive been swinging lately" i find it morally difficult in this case to jump right in as i could with other less familiar people. in a nutshell i find myself very much afraid to disappoint any special "first time" expectations she might have in terms of any magical loving blah blah blah. and yet at the same time not acting on this clearly serves to reinforce her and my frustrations with our current generally sexually awkward relationship.

i am a bit of a drinker for social fun's sake and she has always in the past regularly refused to drink around me for the reason that "if we came together it would ruin the experience for one of us.." which is the basis of my fear here. let it be said i am not one to push anyone into anything by any means. but if I'm going into a shaky situation at best stone cold sober you cant expect an unreserved 100% sure of himself performance...
right now I'm thinking to just say order me around, I'm your slave for the duration.. even though i know she is the most indecisive person i know...

but what can you do,
yes I'm seriously asking

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