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A Lot of First Dates
A Lot of First Dates
I got a telephone call last night from a guy I've known for about a year. He's been a good friend in that time, supporting me through the year from hell in school, encouraging me when I thought I wouldn't make it, and generally being my personal cheerleader. As I said, a very good friend. And that's the problem.
I see him as a dear friend; he sees me as more. I thoroughly enjoy his company--he's intelligent, articulate, and funny, but I'm just not attracted to him in the same way that he is to me. He asked how I was doing when he called, and because I am so comfortable with him, I lost it and started crying.
I told him the job search was harder than I anticipated. I told him the home situation had only gotten worse since we last talked. I told him I hadn't had any real success in the dating world either, and quoted a line from one of my favorite movies, The American President. If you've never seen it, you simply must!
To set the scene, Michael Douglass plays the President, who happens to be a widower. Annette Benning plays an environmental lobbyist, whom he develops an interest in. He invites her to be his date at a State Dinner later in the week, and she accepts. As they're going down the stairs from the residence to the ballroom she asked him:
Her: Do you do this often, sir?
Him: This is actually only our second state dinner. The first one was for the emperor of Japan, who died shortly after, so we stopped having them, just in case.
Her: No, I meant, do you go out on. . . Do you often . . .
Him: Do I date a lot?
Him: No, how Ďbout you?
Her: Me? Lately Iíve been going out on a lot of first dates.
Him: Then youíre experienced.
Her: Yeah, you could ask me anything!
Him: Well, how are we doing so far?
Her: Itís hard to say at this point. So far itís just your typical first date stuff.
Him: Damn! And I wanted to be different from the other guys!
Iím really tired of going out on first dates. I donít want anymore experience in that department. K was so sweetóhe said we could get together and go out. As much as I enjoy his company, heís not the guy I want to go out with. I'm still hoping for things to work out with D, the guy I started seeing last summer, but the relationship has run into a few snags. I want to wait for him to get his life straightened out so we can be together. But I hate sitting home alone, letting my mind wander and wonder about D. My heart says to wait as long as is necessary, but my head says to get busy living.
So what should I do? And what do I do about K?
Remember the past but do not dwell there.
Face the future where all our hopes stand.
8/27/2006 5:01 am
No advice, just be true to yourself...be honest with yourself about what you need and then deliver the message in a manner that's true, clear and compassionate....Ah, I just gave some advice...LOL|
9/18/2006 12:03 pm
I think you should get busy living. To not do so is to wait for life to come to you, and that's not the best place to be in. Sometimes, it doesn't come.|
If you aren't attracted to K then that's the way it is. You try to keep him as a friend if you can.