Full Circle  

rm__Reality_ 105F
105 posts
5/4/2006 4:55 am
Full Circle

The new year brought new hurdles. Cam paid the price for years of sea and sun. He had lesions removed from his face. He told me that he was slow in writing, forgive him, he was having a hard time getting this new year rolling. Afraid that he was, once again, going to that dark place where "Desperado" dwells I waited to hear from him.

There was something wrong, his letters were still coming but i could sense things werent right.

On Valentines Day I received a beautiful card. Two champagne glasses and a rose "huggsnkisses" Cam.

March, a sense of foreboding, i wrote but after a few days realizing that no answer came, I began to panic. He always answered immediately. I discussed my worries with Song. Why hasnt he answered me???
I checked ebay, there was activity in the early part of March, then nothing. Perhaps something happened to one of his aged parents i should call. Song patiently listened, i was afraid to call. I clung to the idea that he was not answering for some reason i had yet to discover. I checked ebay everyday, nothing. I wrote email after email to e very address i could think of. I wrote to "ask the seller a question" at ebay. Still, i couldnt make myself call. I was so afraid, it was as if i knew what i'd hear and by postponing it, it wouldnt be so.

I convinced myself that one of his parents had died and he was so caught up with dealing with the remaining one he just didnt have time to write. After all, the natural order of things is for the parents to predecease the child!! Cam was an only child, it would be a difficult time for him. All the while i knew, i just couldnt face it.

Finally i did what i knew i had to do. I typed in the name of the W/S paper. obituaries, type in the number of days you wish to research, 30, type in the name you wish to research. "Arthur Cameron Cashwell Sr." and there it was "Arthur Cameron Cashwell Jr" died March 28,2006 in Forsyth Hospital W/S NC.

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