When I became aware of my sub tendencies  

rm_YourFetish87 58
2 posts
2/12/2006 6:44 am

Last Read:
3/21/2006 2:36 am

When I became aware of my sub tendencies

I noticed having a strong attraction for this guy from the office. At first, the flirting was innocent, but soon the flirting escalated and became of a sexual nature. I started to have lustful feelings for him, to the point of taking my breath away everytime I saw him. I took a risk and told him how I felt about him. He said "I'm flatter, but I don't want to lose your friendship, I don't know how to have relatiosnhips." His response hurt me, but I felt relief. Later I learned that he never had a "real girlfriend".

He did two full terms in Vietnam and when he was not in prison, he got involved with whores and sluts through out his life time. At that time, I was only and exclusibly in lesbian relationships for many, many years. Needless to say, having feeling of a sexual nature for him, baffled me. He transfered to another office and I didn't see him that often. For a while our interactions were strictly professional. I thought my feelings for him were gone... I thought "out of sight, out of mind", no problem. However, one day we were scheduled to work together on a project for three days a week. All those supressed feelings came up to the surface. I started to be distracted at work by his presence. Just hearing his voice in the office sent shivers down my back. Everytime I saw him, my mouth would salivate and my throat would get dry all the way down to my stomach. He had a look of pray and predator in his eyes at the same time that drove me crazy. What a charmer he was. Sweet as cotton candy. His inner strength was such a turn-on for me. One day we went out to lunch as we often did. Of course, the conversation turned sexual as usual. I couldn't stand it any longer and I told him "Hey sweet one, just let me borrow your body for one night, you don't have to do anything. I'll bathe you in a tub full of bubbles, massage your body with leather scented oil and I'll show you what real pleasure is all about." He giggled and said "what day would be good for you?" My eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, but I doubted he was going to follow through. I never thought one day he was going to call my bluff. I told him "Friday works for me".

That Friday I was so anxious and a bit nervous. After all, it has been only 15 years the last time I was sexually involved with a man. The desire of finally having him, however, was greater then any fears I had. I was so excited, that I felt as if I was busting out at the seams.

It was close to six o'clock when I desided to take a shower and clean up. I wanted to look relaxed when he came in. I decided to keep it simple and wore an unbuttoned white shirt over a white tank top with rich purple lounge pants. White is the traditional sign of innocence and there is something terribly sexy about it.
I sat down on the living room and the anitcipation was killing me. I needed to relax, so I started to burn candles. The ambiance had to be perfect. Some of the scents in that room were musk and patchouli. The room felt warm and it was dimmmed. The fliker of the candles was the only light illumnating the room. I burned lavander incense to enhance the ambiance in the bedroom. I had the little water fountain on, and the sound of running water gave me a sense of tranquility. I checked for last minute details. I cleared the nightstand and left only the massage oil and the lub. I pulled the black cherry velvet conforter and straighten up the sheets, as well as fluffed all the pillows. I sprayed "Sacred Sage" wich is a mist with a blend of traditional purifying herbs, such as, white sage, juniper, and cedar making sure that their scent was inciting. I turned off the phone ringers and set the volume to the lowest on the answering machine. I definetly didn't want to be interrupted.

Finally, it was seven o'clock and I heard his Harley pulled up. The door bell rang and I felt as if my heart came out of my chest. Of course, I acted uninterested and said "oh, you came." When he came in, he took his baseball cap off, exposing his berautiful boldhead. He always kept it very shave and shiny. He had a wonderful goatee, full of silver hair that made him look distinguished. His chest was hairy and looked strong. Even though he remined me of a bear, he had the kindest look in his eyes, almost as innocent as a child.

We made an attempt for small talk, but till this day I cannot remember what it was. Not delying the inevitable, I asked him if he had some rules or no no's for this interaction (I'm total natural). He said, "No, do what you want." As I was running the bath water, I saw him take his boots off. I peek at the loveliest feet I had seen in a while. His toes were clean and his nails trimmed. I was bummed that I missed on the opportunity to do his feet myslef. Being aware of his backgroud, I wanted to give him privacy. I asked him to let me know when he was ready. That did not take long. He called me in and that pleased me greatly. I still could not believe I had him in my tub and I was getting ready to rub him all over.

I knock on the door gently. I saw him lying in the tub with bubbles all over his body. He reminded me of an Egiptian Pharaoh. I kneeled in front of the tub as if I was in prayer. He close his eyes and I let myself enjoy what I was seeing. What a sight that was. I filled myself with his presence as if I wanted to engolf him. I rubbed him with a wooden bristle brush, but that didn't last long. I wanted to feel him with my bare hands. The scent of the candles burnign in the bathroom was intoxicating. Especially the tealight placed on the window ledge wich smelled like wild orchids. My senses were on overload.

I was enjoying this ritual very much and I started to breathe hard. I know he was also enjoying his bath even though he didn't say a word. I noticed his body reacting to my touch. His cock was beautiful and full of anticipation. Just the thought of having his cock in my mouth, made my body ache for desire. I said to him "You make a good Master" and he responded "you make a good slave". that was the extent of his feedback. When I had enough of bathing him, I told him to sit put and enjoy the tranquility of the warm water and the soft music by Kitaro, playing in the backgroud.

After a few minutes, he came to the bedroom. He lay face down on top of the lavander sheets and enjoyed the breeze from the ceiling fan. When I saw him resting on the bed, I wanted to get as much of him as I could. I put some of the scented oil on my hands and rubbed it between my palms to warm it up. I gently stroke along his back. I skimmed my fingers very lightly over his skin to make it sensitive. It was difficult to see his goosebumps because he was hairy, but just enough to have fun with it.

My biggest desire was to taste his skin and to put his cock in my mouth. Since then, I haven't had any desire to be in a lesbian relationship. It's been about 3 to 4 years now. I enjoy the male energy, His mind and especially His body.

Being with Him was the most beautiful one year affair I had. We saw eachother every Friday for nights of passion and servitude. I fed him his favorite dessert and served his dinner in bed.
I would have loved Him for a life time and enjoyed serving Him. Thanks for the memories J.

I am a hopeless romantic and I believe in love. The diffence today is that I do it with my ass up in the air and with a spreader bar on my legs...


nctysden 52M
5 posts
2/18/2006 2:16 am

Wow! Awesome


SanDiego_Worker 55M

2/21/2006 11:15 pm

Doing it with your ass in the air and a spreader bar across your ankles is just one faucet of the love. It signifies to what lengths you are willing to give of yourself and that in of itself is the essence to which we all strive in our love lives.

- SDW


Become a member to create a blog