Lost Traveler  

rm_Young102 40M
129 posts
1/3/2006 1:00 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Lost Traveler

So this is the 3rd year being a lost traveler in Texas. I can't say that things have been bad but there was too much work and too much sress. I completely forgot my personal life and my few adventures were meaningless.
So I don't have any exciting stories from my life in Texas to write in my blog. To remember and write about the past? It's not good for me because the nostalgia makes me very homesick and I have to continue my journey. It's a funny thing when you travel and you don't know the final destination. Sometimes it is exciting because the unpredictability leaves the door open to many possibilities but other times it is frustrating because you don't know what's next. Sometimes things have their way and work at best, intuition can be a good guide but you don't know. You just continue the trip wondering, fighting and exploring.

Of course I am a bit allegoric using the concept of trip/journey as a metaphor of my current life situation. A journey gives a better perspective to how one can approach the new experiences and challenges that meets. Everything is learning: learning about others, learning about life, learning about yourself. And this is the problem that buggs my mind: The more I learn, the less I feel I know (like Ghoethe's Faust). So I don't have any advice to give to anyone, I don't have any advice to give to myself.

Always behind an answer there is a new question that undermines the given answer and requires new answers. It's like a vicious cycle. Yes I know we can say, things are simple, they are as they seem to be and that's it. But even if we accept that we see that things are changing. Our feelings are changing, our relationships are shattered, we create new ones and so on....and although we are learning we usually do the same mistakes; we fall into the same trap or we become ourselves the trap for others. We love and after we stop to love, we care and after we stop to care and so on. The best philosophical saying that can be said in this case is the very common: "That's life", or "that's the way things are". So basically this is my ultimate frustration: The more I learn the more the final answer I give is that's life and I don't have any suggestions to change things.

But there is also the excitement. And this excitement lies at the moment, and the pleasure/satisfaction we can get from every little simple thing in life. Everything else is built upon this moment, upon feeling and having the feeling of learning and as such my trip continues.

MaggiesWishes 60F

1/4/2006 12:31 am

<~~ hands you a Platinum copy of her "day pass".

Accept the things you can not change,
and change the things, that you can.

I so get weary sometimes, all the travel and no roots to speak of.
I found myself somewhat lost in TX, too.
Basically, I'm the "preverbal" lost child ... even with a map.

huggies, babyboy

rm_Young102 40M
181 posts
1/4/2006 1:15 pm

Paris, Texas (1984) by Wim Wenders

I feel sometimes like the hero in this movie who walks endlessly in the dessert of South-West Texas to find the lost love and the trip goes on and on and on.....

MaggiesWishes 60F

1/4/2006 1:52 pm

Even as Dorothy clicked her heels, repeating ...
"There's no place like home." ...
I am still looking for my backyard.

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