the pic is of my mom , my sister, and my nephew,  

rm_XxXbutterfly 50F
112 posts
9/20/2005 5:35 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

the pic is of my mom , my sister, and my nephew,

taken in July , when my sister came out from North dakota with my nephew to spend time with my mom .. so he could be sure to see her .. and remember her this way.. Maybe that sounds like hope has been given way to acceptance. I dont think that at all. I think my sister knows my mom would want her grandson Christopher to remember his grandma this way .. still very much alive.

The news is good .. And I'm trying to celebrate it but Im having kinda a confusing time ..
My moms heart test results indicate that she is in acceptable health peripheralvascularly , to continue receiving chemo therapy treatments .

She will begin receiving what her doctor warned will be "harder" ( even more toxic ) treatments .... tomorrow ...
I am glad. very glad .. her heart test says she can withstand more chemo.. Please know that I would give anything to make the cancer go away...
But the sound of it.. and the way she already says it burns her eyes so bad.. and its made her body tremor and her memory go and her speech slurred.. harder treatments ? ....its making me queezy i feel like i better run to the bathroom ..

what the fuck is this? call this a choice?
a celebratory precious moment ? fuck that ... give her a better choice please !! god i fucking hate this... thats not a choice . THATS NOT A FUCKING OPTION ITS BURNING HER ALIVE !

shes my mom.. shes my mom .

how am i supposed to talk to you now i cant tell what youd do. ...
how am i supposed to talk to myself and do what i gotta do...
u can have a thousand dinners ill eat here. just so i can talk to my friend.


digdug41 49M

9/20/2005 10:10 pm

hey butterfly I dont know what to say except I'll keep your mom in my prayers I cant imagine what your going through stay strong,as strong as you can

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


Nastyblkman65 67M
19 posts
9/21/2005 10:40 am

Luanne, I am so sorry, your mom is in my everyday prayers. If there is anything I can do for you, please call me, 623-521-9309. I am there for you, even if you just want to talk.
Oscar


warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
9/21/2005 4:23 pm

luanne, all I can offer is thoughts and prayers, for your mom, for yourself, your family and all those your mom's life has touched. May you stay strong at such a difficult time. warm xx


rm_XxXbutterfly 50F

9/22/2005 9:26 am

thank you..
luanne


rm_LikUrPanties 59M

10/1/2005 8:10 am

My mom went through something....
But she found her peace and was very much ok with the knowledge.
Our sadness can't go away... but she helped us remove the pain and bitterness before she gently went away.

Bless you.


rm_XxXbutterfly 50F

10/4/2005 5:50 pm

I can't imagine my days without her .... I just can't.


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