the box of christmas stuff ..  

rm_XxXbutterfly 50F
112 posts
12/5/2005 2:24 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

the box of christmas stuff ..

the day after thanksgiving i got the boxes of christmas stuff out. and came across my favorite cloth elf with the 1960ish plastic face.. two bells barely hanging on his toes .. one on each foot .. his stocking cap bells resigned to my memory .. missing ... more then just his bells. My mom deemed the elf mine.. when i was about three or four.. and every year id dig thru the christmas box til i found him .. gave him a hello hug . and for the rest of the season me and the elf were tight. first there was st nicholas day.. the eve of the fifth .. most dont celebrate it but we do.. its when you leave your list for santa and some milk and cookies and during the night.. he stops by to pick up the letter and leave a little something for us . coal if weve been bad and need to improve or get nothing on christams morning.. some little girl lotions and perfumes and candy canes if we just need to keep up the good work.. one year me and my sister went down stairs and were horrified to find lumps of coal . dad was cracking up and i got mad at him for laughing.. whats so funny about us getting coal .. i asked him.. now we may not get any presents for christmas .. can you tell santa we';ve been good.. ? dad said " and what .. lie ?" .. well he of course was the one who put coal and of course thats why he was cracking up.. but what he didnt bargain for was the non stop pestering of his two little girls to get a word to santa beforwe christmas.. .. i even made him take us to the santa village in town .. he couldnt take it anymore and admitted he got down their early and switched the good for the bad.. he was playing a joke on us.. he said.. we wore him down in a week ... then there was the year my mom made my dad go pick up from sears this fire place .. thing. I remember it getting close to christmas .. we always had the big christmas family get together at our house. I think cuz it was a big birthday party to . for me.. i was born a week before christmas .. and no it was never a drag... it was great. magical. friends and parties and the last days of school before break and christmas programs and twinkling lights and .. once thanksgiving hit from there on out everything was magical . anyways . dad brings in this big ass box and in illinois in the winter .. what else did i have to do but sit down and watch him put it up .. up? yep up.. this fireplace thing kinda hung on the wall.. but three dimensional .. not flat. and it kinda sorta (not really ) was made to look like a fireplace sticking out of the wall ? wheres the chimney dad ... he grumbled it didnt have one which to me meant the thing was no good ... santa d keep have to using his key.. and that explaination never went over too good with the little kids i played with next door and up the street .. sitting there wondering why he was putting this thing up that didnt much look like a fireplace and didnt have a chimney puzzled me .. i was five or six ... my dads an engineer.. and very very smart man .. i can only imagine what was going thru his mind. and this thing cost something like two or three hundred dolars. and had to be ordered.. well once "installed" .. (afixed to the wall ) ... youd flip the wheel switch on the cord and where the fake wood was supposed to be itd turn bright 0range behind it.. and start looking wavey ish .. like orangle light bulbs behind orange seran wrap on a cyclinder behind a fake plastic fireplace ... it was supposed to looklike fire i guess but it looked more like an orange river that didnt go anywhere .. but (and i remember this being my moms selling point to my dad .. as though he needed one ... im sure he just said fine she could get it or else ?? but .. the thing actually heated up .. about as much as any two or three light bulbs left on for a while generate heat.. but it was in place for company to see and sit around ( im cracking up ) on christmas day.. i gotta ask my dad about that thing this year .. if i see him.. he'll be with my ill grandmother and ill be with my ill mom. but im sure well manage to meet sometime during the day christmas day.. i wish we'd have saved more then just my elf .. ive been looking for a silver aluminum tree with a color wheel now forawhile.. the only one i found was three hundred dollars. If i wasnt sledding down the hill on those yellow magic carpet ride style pieces of plastic with the cut out hole for a handle that could be rolled up tighter then a sleeping bag.. i was ice skating.. it was pretty a simple decision. if you get to the top of the hill .. put your yellow plastic (sled) down .. plop your butt on it and sink .. the snows no good and its back in thehouse.. four pairs of thick argyle socks underneath white skates .. out the back door down the hill across the shallow frozen (hopefully_ creek and up the bank to the park with the basket ball court they put a one foot high edge around when they built it to fill with water in the winter and have a n outdoor ice skating hockey rink.. cool huh? well . its was cool after they posted some official time slots for ice skating only and hockey only.. up til then it was every ice skater hockey player and puck for themselves .. and you can well imagine.. it wasnt pretty .. didnt matter how many socks i put on my toes were always dead when i got back in the house.. thats what i called it . they were really almost frost bitten. this process of soaking my toes burned ... alot.. hot chocolate with marshmallow and chirstmas tree cookes with red and green sprinkles didnt help .. it burned so bad i couldnt eat or drink or give or crap .. but i think it s ok mom we just leave my toes dead . cuz bring em back to life is killing me anyways . no deal.. and in the middle of all she was busy with .. getting the house ready for holiday company cooking cleaning.. ( making us do it ) .. shopping.. and working too. part time. she always knew when the christmas specials were on and turned them on .. and sit down and watch with us. know how many times ive see rudolph? and has anyone ever even heard of the christmas movie "the littlest angel": it had that red headed kid on my family affair in it .. and im gonna stop there.. cuz this about the same place i was last week .. the day after thanksgiving . when i got the christmas stuff box out. found my elf in it, sat on the stairs and thought about christmas .. til something on the tv caught my attention.. the news was reporting some crap about parents waiting all night in long lines for the new x boxes and on ebay they were being sold for a thousand dollars .. and i couldnt help but bring my thoughts of christmas to what i was seeing on the tv news.. Did you notice my thoughts of christmas didnt have any mention of a single present i got .. and i got my fair share.. that im sure was great when i was a little kid.. but for the rest of my life after being a kid .. when i think of christmas .. the toys arent even in the scene .. what will your kids remember? or your wife? or boyfriend? or nephew? or significant other? if you were spending your last thanksgiving and christmas with them like i am with my mom.. and theyd have only the memories of them with you for all the rest of the holidays to come.. are you leaving them anything to think of ? is it more about malls and maxed credit cards and the stress of trying to make the bills then .. the bickering, the tired and impatient that goes along with all that when you finally arrive home. hourse spent in locked doors wrapping gift after gift ... standing in some god forsaken line like something rettail came and brainwashed ya and you lost all sense of time and reason and money and .. most of all .. the people you love. whatever your religious or anti religous beliefs.. whatever you believe isnt still about love? kinda seems like it s a four letter word anymore.. like it sparks panic in people just to here the word .. really. even if you said i love long underwear.. the one you just fuck will hear that word and stop everything.. til you reiterate it was a love for long underwear.. like its the most horrible awful thing to be ... loved.. im not really looking forward to the day my grandkids come running up to me and give me a hug and say " fuck you grandma" and thats ok.. but hey .. how many more times in a day do you hear fuck you and not think twice . but if you hear love you.. at all.. its cause some one accidentally let it slip ... but thats awhole nother blog entry of two anyways.. i just wanted to say .. if you're out their running around like that this christmas . charging up credit cards and standing in insane line for some new toy.. its been my experience .. you got it all wrong .. and you can wait and see if im right .. but i doubt any harm would come if you just sat this one out allitle more.. took a few walks in the evening with a bundled up girlfriend or kid.. somehow flipped through the myriad of t v channels and found the christmas specials . and watched frosty with a nephew or neice .. .. tried your luck at ice skating .. here .. they put up an outside rink on mill avenue.. the west side towards the back and kinda close to Montis.... they rent ice skates and sell hot chocolate its pretty reasonable.. not even as much as one single game for the x box or play stations.. but those keep people out of your hair for hours.. and this kinda thing youall have to be there a t the same time paying attention to one another.. but thats not so bad.. whats bad .. so bad.. i cant even put into words .. is when you dont have any more time ... you best hope you left someone you love with some thing to go on with more then an x box or nice piece of jewlery .. and i ve already overstepped my boundaries and shouldnt tell anyone how to live.. but its effecting my days in and days out to. and ive been thru all kinds of shit too.. so what . love shouldnt be a four letter word. im not saying fuckshould be either.i for one . have that word on my pesonal litst of things to do to day.. and everyday.. with or without help.. i love t have people watch either way and way andi love the fact some times my pictures make some people .. hard.. and no i dont love every one i fuck . but im not so lame to make it out of the question .. ijust dont think about it .. and that way if it comes around. i havent created this almost exorcist type of discouragement in side me about it . and . i dont go flying off the kitchen counter , pull my panties up. barely as im hightailing it down the street like some cartoon scene getting away from it .. besides if i did build a impermeable wall around my heart.. then id still be letting my bad exs win . fuck that .. ill love some good lucking sexy, guy just to make sure them exs arent ruining shit for me anymore.. hee hee. adios amigos. theres like four weeks between thanksgiving and christmas .. where will you spend most your time?

ps. my mom was gonna name me holly noel . my dad liked country music - the old twangy kind - thats how i got my name. it is what it is . but i kinda wish she had named me holly noel. i wonder if i did that if she d be glad or not ? for this last christmas she will be here with me. she gave birth to me a week before christmas .. that was the beginning of my life. and now.. as her is ending .. i could take on the name she wanted to name me then.? but would i piss any body off like my dad ? maybe i could haveboth legally.. donthave much time.. if anyone happens to know about name changes and such and feels like sharing their info with me . thanks .

luanne rene

holly noel . what do ya think?


outlawman05 58M
5 posts
12/5/2005 4:20 pm

Wow! Thanks for shareing your precious Christmas memories and personal insight.You reveal much wisdom and maturity and you have a natural ability it seems to paint a picture with your words. A gift all great writers share.You as well, revealed the beauty within you, and the love and generousity of a super-sized heart. May you recieve all blessings this season.
Super-size me!


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