|Blogs > rm_XxXbutterfly > Tonight Nothing Is Long Enough|
I'm not a particularly superstitious person....
I'm not a particularly superstitious person....
though the folklore of the south and its hills and the people who live in them intrigue me... as does all the different ways we go about living this life.. Im spiritual .. I believe in love and truth and balance and awareness.... and having said that .... let me tell you what happened minutes ago...
Driving home from taking my daughter to school my mom called .. The news wasnt good. heart tests to see if she could even withstand any more chemo.... and it wasn't much fluid in her abdomen .. meaning it s something else. She wasnt sure if she wanted the heart test and thats my area of expertise so explained to her the procedure wasnt invasive .. the medication would increase her heart rate for her and the cardiologist would watch the monitor to see how her heart reacts to the "stress" ..... basically, she just has to lay there still so the doctor can see the lines on the monitor without a bunch of garbage lines created when a patient moves mucking up the view.... She understood that and sounded ok with the procedure.. asked about me and the kids.. how were they doing in school so far..... and by the time we hung up i was almost back home. holding tears in traffic .. I turned at the light pulled in the parking lot and into my space turned off the car ... and cupped my face in my hands.. letting the tears go... I heard it before I saw it then when I stepped out of the car I saw it ... A big black crow was sitting on the curb right behind my car. beak open .. probably thirsty .. cawing away.. I cant recollect ever seeing a black crow in the complex... lots of pigeons , and desert wren, those doves that coo, and a few ducks that come swimming in the complex pool... but I just dont remember ever seeing or hearing a crow. Whatever.. I started walking thru the parking lot towards my condo while he cawed away and when I reached the sidewalk leading towards my building the crow flew by me and took a place on the edge of the roof of the building right next mine right next to the sidewalk i was walking down . usually thats where the pigeons lay their eggs on a slant and loose their entire brood to be when the eggs go rolling off and splat hit the side walk.. no pigeons there this morning.. I wouldnt stick around either if I were them with a big black crow hanging out.. He cawed from his place directly above me as I walked by .. arriving at my patio.. I walked on in .. I spent a few minutes downstairs telling my son about grandmas heart test.. ( I think kids handle it alittle better when they can prepare ) they dont need to know all the details but some- enough to know the truth ).. then I walked up stairs and logged on ... As I began to type this the black crow flew by my bedroom window and cawed a few more times.. and I havent heard him since. Now I'm saying we havent had a crow visit the complex.. just that in my seven years living here I cant remember seeing or hearing one around here. .. I dont particularly know what folklore there is surrounding the black crow. ravens are in a Poe poem and i think some scarey movies. I ll probably look it up before I finish this.. maybe I wont .. Its just one of those things that when it occurs you wish there was someone to tell it to... so Im telling you .
This is what I found in the first two pages of my searchancer Is Like A Big Black Crow
Cancer is a big black crow
Chained to my shoulder.
He is loud, heavy, and smells bad.
Sometimes he squawks, loudly,
Hurting my ear with his noisy presence.
Sometimes he is still, just sitting there,
Making his presence known,
Heavy, smelly, on my shoulder,
But always there, my endless tormentor.
Shut up! Shut up! Leave me alone! I cry.
But he will never leave.
He sleeps sometimes, but too soon he wakes again.
Loud, intrusive, demanding, heavy, so heavy.
He screams in my ear and digs my shoulder until it bleeds,
With his vicious claws.
He pecks his long sharp beak,
At my ear, at my shoulder, at my peace of mind,
At any happiness I can find in life.
He has no pity and gives me no rest.
And someday, as a final insult,
He will pull me down to the ground
And eat me piece by piece,
While a God who doesn't seem to care
about my suffering and pain,
© Judy Stanley Mello..... There s more .. this just from the first page.
lifes captivating and invigorating and death defying and over too soon. luanne.
9/5/2005 9:10 am
Crows (and ravens) are a curious paradox mythically. Odin had two ravens who sat on his shoulder, Hugin and Mungin (sp?), thought and memory. Symbolically crows and ravens are close cousins and have essentially the same medicine power. They are both assoicated with magic and procognition, the ability to see clearly. Often he is a portent of new solutions and change. In times of transition crow is said to provide balance and mastery of the emotions to more readily facilitate change. They are also survivors and can survive the cahnegs around them better than most. They do have a dark side but in the Northwest they are seen as creators rather than destroyers. As my name may indicate I have had close encounters with many of the corbie family (raven, crow, magpie, jays) and find they have always shown me the way (with alittle trickster thrown in).|