Romantic Irony  

rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2116 posts
1/24/2006 9:56 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2012 7:06 pm

Romantic Irony

I love hotel sex. Romantic weekends spent in a downtown corner suite, or a chalet in ski country, maybe Utah, doing all kinds of things that are illegal in that state. Even going just out of town is fun, because it’s hotel sex.

Hotel sex provides a new environment to play, clean sheets, permission to mess up the room. I find that I’m more adventurous in a hotel, and it gives a slight exhibitionist thrill. You know, putting the “Do not disturb” sign out... it’s the same as putting out a sign that says, “We’re having all kinds of naughty sex in here.”

Besides the toys, oils, lubes, candles, etc. I bring in my sex-sex bag, I also like to bring sensual (and sensuous) snacks. I’ll pack a basket of things like a baguette, Havarti or Gorgonzola cheese, yummy calamata olives, stuffed grape leaves, strawberries (of course!) and pomegranate juice. Flowers are also nice - if the hotel doesn’t provide them... and until you get into the US$350.00/night hotels, most don’t.

But one of my favorite places to go is a clean, if slightly sleazy motel on rt. 19 in St. Petersburg, Florida. It’s $50.00/night, $100.00 if you want a hot tub room, and comes with a waterbed, mirrors on the ceiling (and everywhere else), and porn and ESPN on the TV.

I’ve had some of the best sex of my life at this place; from loving, amorous nights with a woman I used to love, to a romp with a FWB and full-on, all-the-way-gay lesbian who was so hot for FWB that she agreed to me as part of the package; best threesome EVERRR! (Lesbian said I use my mouth and fingers like a woman... I took that as a compliment.)

But along with the sex, I find that place, and places like it, romantic in an ironic way, and that’s about the best way I can describe it. Maybe it’s something about a woman finding the place sexy and being naughty with me, I dunno. It probably comes from the same place that - well, I don’t really enjoy things like porn or strip clubs... unless I’m enjoying it with a woman I care about - so maybe finding romance in something that is ostensibly sleazy comes from that same place.

A drawback of places like this, of course, is that you have to stay there before you know if it’s sleazy-romantic, or just sleazy-sleazy. Most I’ve found to be sleazy-romantic, including a cozy little place in Sarasota. This particular motel has very nice rooms, doesn’t allow locals to stay there (cuts down on prostitutes taking tricks there), and has three channels of porn! One channel - and I’m not kidding here - has porn from the 70s with mustaches and big hairy bushes, another is 80s with big blonde hair, and the third is 90s-00s, with big fake titties, shaved pussies all around, and lots of tattoos.

Price no object, I'm gonna take my cutie pie to a Renaissance or even the tiny rooms at The Plaza any day, but I’ll still want to visit the sleazy/romantic no-tell motels occasionally


Rowan_Taltos 47F

1/25/2006 7:06 am

So does this mean you'll be like the traveling gnome and rate hotels from truly romanatic to sleazy?

I'm happy to know I am not the only one with a sex bag. I found a doctors bag at an antique store and bought for keeping all my "things" in.

hourglasses 47F

1/25/2006 6:55 pm

woohoo ...Mr. Erotic American

craptoast 39M

1/25/2006 7:10 pm

I'm with you 100% here. We were confined to hotel sex for the first six months or more of our relationship. It was great. Sometimes after we lived together we would go out for a night at a local hotel, just for the kick. Once, at an academic conference in DC, we trashed the hotel room and covered everything, including ourselves, in all her best lipsticks. When I think best to the best sex I've had, it's always me and her, and it's almost always in a hotel room. Although, once during a class she was teaching (I was her projectionist) was also quite memorable...

SaucyTart_36 47F

1/25/2006 7:37 pm

I love the idea of sleazy-romantic hotel sex! I think every man should know that taking a woman to hotel is like guaranteed sex!

rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
1/26/2006 12:28 pm

Rowan_Taltos - Yeah! I'm the Traveling Bone.

A doctor's bag, eh? That in itself is kinda kinky. What are the contents of your sex-sex bag... got one of these: You might feel a little pressure...?

hourglasses - D'oh!

craptoast - Ever find yourself in the Lafayette? The owner's daughter hung with the same punk rock crowd I did and we'd have insane hotel parties there.

SaucyTart_36 - Wow... NICE ASS!

Uhhh... yeah. What was it you said?

southrnpeach333 50F

1/26/2006 2:32 pm

I love going to a hotel. It makes me feel like a bad girl. So of course I have to act like a bad girl.

Rockhard2x6 54M

1/26/2006 5:31 pm

I really need to find a good no-tell motel close. I totally agree that motel sex is the best, just more exciting. But not a roach motel of course. It is the best when you have a little bit of time to totally fulfill each other right. Besides that fact that you don't have to search every inch of the room when you leave to make sure you have not left any evidence lying around.

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