rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2116 posts
6/12/2006 8:21 am

Last Read:
6/13/2006 9:38 pm


It's World Cup time once again Every four years the world stops what it's doing to watch football (or soccer) for a couple weeks. Except for the States... and I don't think Canada cares too much about it either.

You might think I’m about to go into a “Why doesn’t America care about soccer like all the other civilized countries?” rant. I’m not. If I was going to do a piece like that it would be NASCAR v. Formula One and how the two can be seen as metaphors for American and European cultures respectively.

Nope. You see, even an Anglophile like me still recognizes that soccer sucks more than any other sport has ever sucked. (Except maybe golf.)

Soccer is just the most basic and most boring version of the parallelogram playing field plus two goals games that most sports employ. No novelty, no gear, no personality, no fun - just a bunch of guys running back and forth on a big field with a big ball.

Hockey - on ice, the guys have blades on their feet, scythes with which to strike the puck and each other, and beating the piss out of each other is condoned.

Lacrosse - again, big sticks they wreck each other with and use as trebuchet for the little hard rubber ball.

Basketball - well, it sucks too, but it’s got entertaining personalities like Charles Barkley and Dennis Rodman.

Field Hockey - chicks in plaid skirts running around, slamming into each other for my pleasure while I’m in the parking lot behind tinted windows.

Soccer - nothing. It doesn’t even have soccer hooligans anymore. The ref gives you a “card” if you touch anyone (I don’t understand that part either, give me a penalty, eject me from the game, have the other team throw me a beating... but if you wave a silly card in my face I’m liable to bitch-slap you!). Personalities? Well... there’s David Beckham, “Oh look at me! I’m a bad man... I married Posh Spice, had my anus bleached, and am the patron saint of metrosexual men everywhere!”

Fuck David Beckham! Fuck him right up his stupid ass!

rm_rsp54 58F
531 posts
6/12/2006 10:52 am

Disagree with you on this one!! I love soccer. Would watch it anyday, over americn football. I hasve been glued to the tv set, sometimes even watching univision's coverage, since most games are not covered, here, in english.

To Each his own!!!

rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
6/12/2006 5:27 pm

Rugby. Lacrosse. Boxing. Gawd I love Gladiator sports!


cuteNEway 41F

6/13/2006 3:52 pm

aahhh mmmm aaahhh soccer...>>RASPBERRY<<

tee hee

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