confused  

rm_TwistedWhore 36F
134 posts
4/24/2005 2:43 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

confused


It was a ballbuster of an evening, racing here and there, in a semi sober continuum. Am I smoking crack? Why why why am I obsessed with boys? It's not like I have nothing to do and am just passing time, or even a lonliness driving me to date so many guys, if you can call it dating. More of a mutual agreement to chill out on occasion. I am finding out very quickly that I am a weak individual...but is it weakness if I go into a situation knowing exactly what I want and feeling comfortable with my decisions? Maybe I'm just a certified skank now. I have no problem with my choices, but then again I was married for 5 years, and with the previous ex for 3 years, so is it so bad to slut out a little? I'm the queen of safety, so I'm not a public health threat...yet. I cannot discuss my recent indiscretions with my best gal friend. I can already hear what she would say, so I'm not even going to broach the topic with her. Once upon a time I viewed sex as sacred, but unless it's with the right person, it's just another method of physical expression. I write these words and wonder who I'm trying to convince. Not to be a feminazi freakazoid, but if I was male, it wouldnt be an issue. Why am I supposed to be chaste, reserved, prudish, and sexually dead simply because I don't have a penis? I need advice in a sick sick way. I don't regret any of the decisions I've made as of late, but that leads to me wondering if I should have regret. So until someone beats me over the head and tells me I'm a bad person, I guess I wont worry. Perhaps I should stay away from the vodka next time, as it leads me down a lecherous path of lust that is a deadend. I think it may boil down to nymphomania...and an increasing need for me to slow down.

rm_medaguy 35M

4/24/2005 8:50 pm

not really. everyone has a period of wildness. your friend is sooo prudish but she probably has a really bad one.


rad_vlad 33M

4/24/2005 9:11 pm

You are not supposed to be chaste, reserved, prudish, and sexually dead. You're trying to adhere to a value system with which you do not agree and that does not fulfill you. So here's my advice: stop worrying about trying to be something you're not. You're not a monogamous person. It's not a bad thing or a good thing, it's just who you are. Embrace it, and quit worrying about whether or not other people approve of your decisions and lifestyle.


wickedclown1951 65M
6 posts
4/25/2005 11:51 am

I would have to agree with rad vlad, you are coming out of that post-marriage, sex with anybody but my husband must be bad, I'm such a slut phase...all I can say is welcome to the real world. Watching the liquor intake when you are out is probably a good idea though, there are a lot of people who would try and take advantage of someone who might not be if full control. Other than that, just have a good time and enjoy yourself.


hrny13 58M

4/28/2005 7:54 am

You are not supposed to be chaste unless you want to be. I was married for 13 yrs and I am being quite promiscious, but like you in a safe way. If you find someone you want to be a slut for exclusivley he will be a very lucky man.


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