I have a bra, I am truly fortunate  

rm_TwistedWhore 36F
134 posts
6/16/2005 6:15 pm

Last Read:
4/23/2006 7:47 pm

I have a bra, I am truly fortunate

Wow. So I'm driving around earlier this morning after giving notice at work and being shat upon, literally and figuratively. That infernal cell phone of mine starts its irritating "escalating ring" bullshit. It's my mamacita asking me to give homebro a ride to school. Remember now I am poor. I have, by my innately and intrisically wise calculations, exactly $0.75 worth of gas in my car. It's gotten to no air conditioner while driving mode. And the skies open up as I agree and shit on me once more. I'm starting to doubt that whole altruistic karma idea. So I do the right thing, then stop by the ex's for some damn good java and pretty damn good conversation. Prior to this I spend my last $4.42, well all but nine cents of it anyhow buying cigarettes. Yup, I have my priorities fuckin straight. So, leaving the ex's I'm overcome with self pity, rocking out in my hot as hell car to sad sappy tunes. This next part is going to sound bad, but truly was a moment of profundity for me. Perhaps it was sleep deprivation, or lingering illness that inspired this spiritual insight, I dunno. Well, out of nowhere a morbidly obese woman trucks into my view...a morbidly obese woman with no bra in 100 degree humid ass weather. And that my friends, is when I realized how fuckin lucky my stupid ass was. I have a bra damnit. And a car, and house, and AC, and music, and love. Yeah, so after that brought everything into perspective for me the sky quit shitting on me, and I smiled. It doesnt matter how much I hate management at my job- I'm leaving, or how much I owe who even though my storage unit is in "lien"- they're just material possessions, or how miniscule I feel frequently- I'm human. I guess what I'm getting at is nothing matters because I'm not letting it anymore, for the moment...and that's a nice feeling. Everything that happens has an outcome contingent on my outlook, so why should I torture myself? Life for once feels truly meaningless, and some may find that sad or unsettling, but I find it comforting. It creates a (delusional) feeling of invincibility. I suppose it's along the lines of the corny mind over matter school of thought. To my employer I say FUCK YOU, you have no concept of employee worth. I hope you have a terribly difficult time filling my shoes, because damn if you didn't take advantage of my willingness and kindness. So bitter today...I hate being unappreciated. I hate watching everyone around me fuck off and get away with it. I have a lot of pent up hatred today. That place is damn toxic, and it's contaminating me with its negativity and cynicism. Know what I wont miss when I'm deep sea fishing in Florida? Having to release an animal in pain and half-dead AMA because some selfish fuck would rather exploit and neglect their pet by choice, not because of finances, not for any reason at all, just because they get to decide. Free will...some people aren't even fortunate enough to have this, but animals, animals get the shit end of the stick. Who's more intelligent, the wage slaves scurrying frantically to keep up with technology and The Jones's, or the god damned bird flying free? I'm starting to think we may be the stupidest species alive, bent on destruction in the name of gluttony. And yes, that was a tangent of morbidity. I am a dichotomy...a contradiction in terms...manic depressive, bipolar? Always ecstatic yet filled with sorrow, morose yet gleeful, informed and ignorant. Is that the human condition? Most of this will probably make sense only to me, because I'm really going off in a thousand different directions, and under the influence of substances. No, I have successfully avoided the snow for all you folks that automatically jumped to that conclusion. I have wasted so much time trying to get "somewhere" only to realize that I've missed so much in the process. Trite and cliche as that may sound, it's the way I feel. Feelings, what a strange yet chemically based spiritual occurance those are. I should be sleeping, I have to be to work by 9:30 tonight. It's now 1:22...that gives me negative 1 hour 22 minutes to fuck around. To everyone that volunteered to drive with me to Big Pine....THANK YOU! But I do believe I have found my roadbuddy...I'm lookin at you Houston So, I suppose instead of expounding upon my morbid philosophies (if you can call them that) I should be doing my Big Pine plans. Yeah, I guess I'd better get on that
God damned TPS reports

ByteChaser2 53M

6/16/2005 7:36 pm

Nice wind up. Great release... Fantastic follow through! All that and you still had presence of mind to end on that completely appropriate reference. Now get you a baseball bat and that cursed fax machine, take it out to some deserted lot and BEAT THAT FUCKER to hell and gone!

Luck babe!

sandhazard 54M
129 posts
6/16/2005 8:07 pm

Thanks for sharing a small window into a day in your life. I truly enjoyed the open and candid expression that came from you. Hope it all gets better for you.


rm_hot_fucker 46M

6/16/2005 8:31 pm

Can I fuck u?

rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
6/18/2005 7:23 am

Your tipping of a candid over-thought perspective (on reality) is sensational.


Become a member to create a blog