Keys to ponder regarding relationships.  

rm_Taxmantc 60M
7 posts
8/7/2006 1:10 pm

Last Read:
8/23/2007 4:43 pm

Keys to ponder regarding relationships.

As far as relationships go, I know that you can't push a rope, and from what I've seen and experienced, you just have to let it happen, it may, then it may not, but the surest way to get it to fail, is to push it faster than it wants to go! It seems the harder we look for something, the harder it is to find. I believe in truth and honesty as key ingredients to any relationship, platonic or amorous. You have to be comfortable enough to speak your mind, and let your feelings flow freely without being scared of being ridiculed or belittled. When it comes to emotions, the relationship should be a safe haven for the free exchange of ideas and desires.

Chivalry is all but out shouted by chauvanry, and, unfortunately, it is due, by my perception, to the capitulation of some of the more beautiful women of this world acquiescing to the Neanderthal actions of 90% of the male populace. And every one knows of the Pavlovian response, reward bad behavior, and you get more in response. Just desserts? You tell me.

Communication is critical to any relationship, and open and honest communication is the key to growth and development. If one cannot be open and honest, for whatever reason, all efforts are fruitless and a waste of time, energy and effort. It is a delicate balance to be achieved, weighing the risk of hurt and denial, versus the minimal chance of finding an equal, a companion, or, as the romantics so eloquently put it, a compadre.

Most of the sweet-hearted men have become jaded by being rebuffed by shallow women who don't see the value of a man in touch with his softer side, not realizing that it takes a lot of strength to deny oneself in behest of another.

I was a peace officer for 4 years, and I have dealt with so many "guys" in my professional life that I swear, at least 90% of them think with the wrong "head" 90% of the time. But what confuses me further, is that a lot of the women today appear un-phased by this, and almost seem to relish it and reward the behavior, and have disdain for what I would term thinking and considerate men, such as myself.

I hold the brain to be the largest erogenous organ in our bodies. I also hold that sex without emotion and mutual vulnerability is empty, and just a base animal act, with the staying power of Chinese food. To me, sex is among the highest forms of communication available between two people. A smile is not a true smile, unless it encompasses the eyes. I think that someone who plays games and toys with anyone's emotions is an egocentric and petty person, not worth the time or effort to scrape off the bottom of one's shoe. If a person can not be open to honest and truthful communication, which is a two-way street, for whatever reason, that person is trying to push a rope and it can be equally frustrating. Everything in this world is static. People change, develop, grow (hopefully) and add to their persona and makeup through experiences and discovery, hopefully they glean knowledge and wisdom along the way, but I believe that men, as a gender, seem to be lazy and don't appear to want to exert the effort to better themselves. I know that women mature faster than men, and I think that after a certain age, say 10th grade... men figure out that they will never catch up and most seem to quit trying!

But mutual consideration is crucial to allowing the other party to be free to express emotions, hopes, fears, dreams, and impressions on life, in an atmosphere where they are not afraid of retribution, humiliation or derision. The relationship should be a refuge from the coldness and impersonal nature of the world, where the relative comfort and safety of two people can depend and rely on each other to be supportive, NOT to be confused with carte blanche, because constructive criticism is crucial to beneficial growth, but to assist in being an anchor (to stabilize), or a rudder (to guide), or just a comfortable safe haven harbor to rest and recuperate in after fighting the storms and high seas and find solace and shelter from the storm. But then, I guess I could be wrong! But I don't think so. Any suggestions?

Sensuality is not a garment to be put on or taken off, a truly sensuous woman looks equally resplendent in a tee shirt and cut offs, as a flowing black backless ball gown. It is the way one carries oneself and sees themselves through their own eyes. Confidence and being at ease with your own sense of self worth and how you approach life exudes joi de vivre!

Confidence is akin to sensuality, yet is a part of sensuality, at least to me. Neither are like an article of clothing, to be worn or taken off, rather it is how you carry, and see yourself. It pervades your every movement, gesture and voice. It is as if it resides on a different dimension from the physical, as it is an intangible perception that manifests itself, without actually being one single significant event, yet the sum total of the equation. The same article of clothing can be stunning and yet common, based on the confidence of the wearer on any particular day. Confidence is like an aura, you can barely see it if you are looking indirectly at it, you know that it is there, but you can't quite pin it down. Insofar as the intimidation factor, it is almost as if the reflection of the observed confident person is compared to the mindset of the viewer, and if the comparative analysis finds the observer lacking, there would most definitely be a level of intimidation probably proportional to the perceived disparity. Course, I could be wrong...

2daycowboywanted 45F

8/7/2006 1:33 pm

I seriously hope you are feeling much better now.

Until later

VCF1962 105F

8/7/2006 1:50 pm

Now if more men held your beliefs, then us women would be a happier bunch (or some would anyway !).

I'm tired of men that say what they THINK I want to hear. How the hell do they expect to know unless they take the time to listen themselves ?

If I carry on, this will turn into a bitter and twisted blog comment so I'll just say I agree and thanks for posting !

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!

rm_Taxmantc 60M
79 posts
8/7/2006 7:10 pm

Oops, did I slip into "vent" mode there for a while?!? This is actually a compilation of several stray thought lines that were loosely held together by an uncommon thread! I am a very optomistic person, despite of the overall tone of my vent, but sometimes the inequities of the world seem much louder than at other times! Thanks for bearing with me, 2dcw! CIAO!

VCF, I have observed that a lot of people hear what they are saying, but only half hear the response, or what the other party of the conversation has to add. There was a study conducted regarding listening and retention, and in introducing oneself to someone else, the parties almost unanimously pay more attention to their own voice and name, than the other person's name. It was an amazingly large percentage of the time, as in >65% of the time! I think that it has a LOT to do with consideration. Do you reckon that folks put on airs to cover their own insecurities? Thanks for the response, I'm sitll fairly new to this! Regards!

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