Inner Circle - Bad Boys  

rm_TallPAGuy73 43M
22 posts
1/2/2006 1:20 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Inner Circle - Bad Boys

...and the women who love them. lol

This topic came up in chat in the wee hours of the morning, and I'm wondering what you all think. This is one of those questions that probably has no "right" answer, but several plausible ones. If you're reading this post, please add a comment. Throw in your two cents - I want to know what you think.

OK, here's the question: Is it just me, or does it seem like a woman can't fully appreciate a man who is good to her until she's been with one who doesn't treat her right? This has been my experience - I don't recall ever getting a date with a woman who hadn't already been with an asshole. Instead, I got a lot of "Well, you're a really nice guy, but..." followed by some lame excuse why she wouldn't see the nice guy.

Am I wrong on this? If it IS true, why is it? I've been told that many of said women don't know how to handle being treated right, as they're not used to it, but that seems to contradict what actually happens. If that was true and a woman was used to being treated poorly, that would suggest that she'd be even more inclined to push the good guys away. Doesn't quite add up, in my view. It's also been suggested to me that women who haven't been with bad guys tend to think nice guys are boring. Could that be it?

Anyway...what do you think? The floor is open...

P.S. Bah...can't find the mood I want. I'm thinking inquisitive, questioning, puzzled, perplexed, but the closest I could find was "curious". They need more adjectives, dammit.

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
1/6/2006 6:17 am

OK... "You're such a nice guy..." It means, "You're nice but you're a. A doormat, b. boring as fuck, c. not my type, but I can't bring myself to be blunt."

I've never gone for bad boys. All my assholes have been from good families. And it's a bit more complicated than that. They all start out treating you well. Then when they have you where they want you, the asshole comes out. We don't even notice at first, we think he's just having a bad day or something. Then, we try to change to please him, because he did such a good job at getting us hooked. Then we finally come to our senses.

However, there are the women who are into the stereotypical bad boy types. They're exciting and dangerous. Somehow, I don't find posting bail for a boyfriend all that exciting, but that's just me. These guys know that if they ignore the women they want, these women will throw themselves at them. Stupid women consider this cockiness and massive ego a sign that a guy is secure with himself and confident. In other words, women who are serial bad boy daters/marriers are really types you want to stay away from, if at all possible. They're nuts.

Then there are the people, both male and female who can turn a nice guy/woman into an abusive asshole/bitch. It's just something that person exudes. It's like they have hurt me tattooed across their foreheads.

But what is a nice guy? So many go out of their way to be nice, that they become doormats. A doormat isn't a nice guy, he's a wimp with no will of his own. His will becomes the will of the people he's trying to please. A doormat will be used to the fullest, but rarely will he be loved by those he desires.

Hope this helps...

MissCrabtree2u 49F

1/7/2006 7:34 am

I don't know... I've been burnt by plenty of self-proclaimed "nice" guys in the past! (You know the ones who say; "you're so beautiful and smart.", "you've given me more than any woman ever has.", "sex with you is the best I've ever had in my life",...yadda, yadda, yadda! These are things they usually say right before the big "BUT".) Anyway, seems like they whine about finishing last yet constantly don't realize they are worthy of a good woman and end up running away. I've been hurt so many times there was a time when I ended up being the bitch who would not let anyone in emotionally and loved the bad boys for that reason. (One thing that they do have going for them is their confidence which bordelines on cockiness.) However, I'm to the point in my life where I realize I need someone like me...a combination of naughty and nice. To me naughty means someone who has a wild side and is confident enough to express it. And also loves to explore creative ways to have fun. By nice, I mean someone who is considerate of other's feelings, caring, compassionate, intelligent, and above all open and honest.

rm_autumngirl61 55F
741 posts
1/17/2006 8:51 pm

Well, many people hate to use the "....but" word when it comes about the preference. They still use "but" to make some excuses or to be honest w/ another person even though it may hurt.

I agree w/ both MissThorpe & MissCrabtree here. Many couples have their reasons. I had been with a guy who was a bad news...only that I didn't even see myself until it was too late. It gave me reasons not to trust a guy easily, so I had to make my own excuses to say "but". I have to remind myself that not every guy is same.

Don't worry, TallPAGuy, you'll find a nice girl who is same common as yours one day

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