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The Carving Knife Story
The Carving Knife Story
Well my children are gone with their father till sunday midday, and am now "Home Alone". hhmmmm
I am enjoying the solitude, but am not really lonely for have been in the irish chatroom here talking to friends. conversation in there is never ever boring, and I feel I have made many good friends whom I shall certainly be meeting up with when I go to Ireland in August.
Every so often in this chatroom I come across one or two men I get on with online extremely well and who I am enjoying looking forward to meeting. I have always been upfront about who I am and I think it may take some people by surprise when they realise that all I am looking for is actually a loving, lasting relationship with a man. I am sure many think I dont deserve that, being the whip loving, flogger lashing, clamp loving woman that I am. But that it only one side of me. The sadistic side. It fills a need in me that must be met. Would i give it all up though for a loving relationship? Of course I would for it is only a small part of me being embraced. The loving side of me is what I would rather give, albeit with a twist in the bedroom. lol.
I have spoken with many in this chatroom, but one man in particular has actually stood out and offered me a roof over my head when I come across to Ireland, with absolutely no strings attached at all. Friendship. How important a word. how important to be able to trust that word. There is a lot of trust to be built before I make such a step as to enter a mans home for nothing but friendship.
Lets face it I wouldnt enter his home for a shag, but to offer friendship to me is something I have to consider. If I turned my back on such an offer am I turning my back through fear of the man himself or fear of the friendship offered, or fear that the friendship might lead to something else if I get on with this man?
Its only friendship ffs I hear myself cry. Yet I am such a deep thinker that by the mere words given by this man goes into my head and dissected a million times. So I do my normal safety checks and ask around for anyone that has met him, what he is like, impressions from folks.
Safety checks are a must. I also put into place my safety calls. People here in Scotland that are contacted on a regular basis when I go anywhere to meet people new, so they know exactly where I am at all times and know I am safe. I line them up with phone numbers of local police stations, hospitals, doctors, ect, incase anything should happen to me when am travelling alone. And should I meet a man, there is contact checks from my friends to ensure my safety at all times. Its a thing we do in the lifestyle. After all if I have a sadistic tendency then there are certainly men out there who have it too, and them being strong could overthrow me if they chose to, so my checks are set up to safeguard me.
I always bear in mind that no matter who I meet, the man is always the stronger person.I am not stupid here. Men are born with a different structure and their strength can overthrow a woman if needs be. But I recall a story my mother told me when I was a young lass. My father was apt to lifting his hands to her in a menacing fashion. She being the female was always overpowered until one day she just had enough. He hit her once too many times, and that evening he climbed into bed.
My mother came into the room and climbed into bed weilding a very big carving knife. She propped herself up on the pillows, and put the carving knife under the pillow, and sat with her hands clasped, quietly. My father sat up and looked into my mums eyes and said "What do you think you are doing?". She looked at him, and without raising her voice, in a whisper she replied, "Well you got to go to sleep sometime havent you!". My father climbed out of bed, put his clothes on and left never to be seen for many years.
Why am I telling you this story? Well its all to do with control and power. One man has the power to lift his hands in a private abode. But the woman ultimately has the power to control also.
I belive that all friendhsips offered should be cultivated if the two people should want to do that. I probalby will meet up with this man, safety checks and all. Would I stay in his house? Who knows. I will go on my instincts. I know though, that I will keep my mothers story in the back of my mind and make sure if I can that nothing happens to me when am on my travels.
Every woman that goes to meet someone from the net is ultimately putting her life at risk no matter how much trust thats been built up. I have found that people open up more online for its easier to say what you feel via typed word than orally. It is just as easy to lie online and give yourself a completely different identity.
I am just making sure that I have done every thing I possibly can to protect myself, and should I ever meet a man from the net, I would hope he would realise before he meets me that though I am very bubbly and happy in chat, there will always be a serious side to me that ensures my safety at all times. After all you only live once, and I like to take care of mine...lol