|Blogs > rm_Suzanne_999 > Searching|
I have only fairly recently got hooked back up onto the internet again, and remembered that I had joined this site many moons ago.I dont know what on earth possessed me to even join for I am normally found on some form of BDSM site in the uk, but here I am joined up in an AdultFriendFinder. I wondered as to what brought me here in the first place. Obviously I am searching for someone to fill a void in my life that hasnt been filled yet.
I have been actively involved with the Scottish BDSM scene for a while now. The lifestyle has many good points about it as well as the not so good. What community hasnt? I find the divide between my lifestyle and normal day to day ppl is getting smaller. Yes there are still ppl out there who do not agree with the way some people live their lives, prefering to stick to straight play, missionary, or even abstaining for other reasons. Perhaps people look to god to make their judgement and choose to judge me in my lifestyle. Whatever makes people tick in my opinion is fascinating for it is defines who they are.
Am I really that different from the normal person that goes out doing their shopping, housework, taking kids to school, kicking the cat up the arse when it tries to steal the chicken I just cooked for dinner? No I am not, but every so often I get the odd look of disgust from some people when they ask me about such things as my social life. But why look upon me in disgust when they are ignorant of the facts? Too many people do not admit to many things they like to do for fear of being judged. Yet I am open and honest about my life. I think that some things need to be explained in a positive light to be viewed positively. Swingers in the UK are still condemned by the media because of their choice of having consentual pleasure which is totally ridiculous. I am not a swinger and am completly monogomous, however that does not mean I or anyone else would have a right to make judgement on others. Each to their own I say and if all are safe, sane and contensual then have a bloody good time!
No, through ignorance people turn their noses up at me for I practise alternative acitvities. But do I really? I am the same as every day folks. I am still looking for a partner to commit to. I dont go out and play with ppl in the scene just because I can. This isnt prostitution! I dont even sleep around on one night stands. I dont go near married men, and I dont commit satanic rituals. I have been accused of the lot though which is ludicrous. I do admit to laughing out loud after a few too many vodkas, (or even tea)loving chocolate and cats and having a bubbly is not somewhat erratic personlity.
"So why am I here then?" I ask myself again. I am here because, although I receive letters asking for sex and all sorts, I still have faith that someone will read my profile and actually realise that I am not looking for casual sex but infact a deep and meaningful relationship.
You see my lifestyle does have many different meanings to different people, but the one I live with in my heart is this one : To love someone is to give your 100% to that person. to look towards all THEIR needs to be met and in return that person will adore you, and think of all they can and want to do for you. It is non selfish, focussing on one another and not on themselves. It never goes stale for the two ppl involved are looking out to others to fulfill and not into themselves to gain. It is a love story multiplied a thousand times . THATS how I see my lifestyle.
If its such a great lifestyle then why am I here? Because I am not closeminded.I dont have to stick to one lifestyle in order to find my true partner.
I dont expect from this blog for idiots to write to me asking about anything I can do for them. They will simply be ignored. The internet has many search engines. Those truly interested in BDSM can type in search and come up with many places to look. I would smile a lot if I got some decent intellectual letter from someone who read this and realised I am more than tits and ass and actually has an opinion and likes giving it. I might have an interesting lifestyle but I still get lonely like any other woman, and I will not stick within one lifestyle just incase the man of my dreams is in another.
Thanks for reading this