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You wanna put that WHERE?????
You wanna put that WHERE?????
What is all the fuss about anal?
I am, at the risk of sounding arrogant, quite gifted in the art of persuasion. Actually, when I come to think of it, I am in fact supremely arrogant so it is not so much a risk, as much as a cast iron certainty… but I digress. Lets just agree that for a chubby bald guy I’m pretty good at talking the knickers of a girl if I get to be alone with her for any length of time. Thank you God for the gift of humour.
I must also admit a particular fondness for the back door. It is not so much the act per se, as much as the idea of the forbidden or in these enlightened times, if not forbidden, then at least naughty!
OK OK Fuck it yea alright it is the act, I was lying. I just love to hold you down, grab a handful of your hair and fuck you up the ass…. And if you’re prepared to cry a little and say “…please…please.. no” Well Heeyyy Babbbyyy.
Ermmm yea well lets move on shall we.. <cough>
Not to mention of course the supreme thrill of persuading a new partner to try it for the first time and so to this past week and my careful preparation to deflowering my new girls arse. The events were as follows;
Suitable wining and dining followed by a cosy evening at my home listening to a little Ella Fitzgerald and Billy Holiday. Billy carefully chosen of course because turning the conversation to her colourful private life leads nicely into talking about sex, and then of course to preferences and then of course what each of us as done in the past; Oral, straight, dressing up, a little light bondage, whips, dips, sticks, chains and candle wax on the nipples etc etc bla bla bla… then of course the $64,000 question: “What about anal?”. A thoughtful silence at this point is one of the more encouraging answers… OK They’re off and the chase is on… Yeee haaaaa!
Cuddled up after a particularly satisfying night of fun and games which included some casual exploration and probing of her ass with my fingers whilst my tongue was buried in her pussy… looking good no protest so far. A few playful spanks and that will do
Introducing the subject of lubrication is always tricky, how nice of the Ann Summers people to have come up with flavoured stuff…. Fun slipping and sliding everywhere and the first tentative ‘slip’ almost into the ‘wrong’ hole… so close and yet so far.
Interesting discussions on the rationale of anal sex, a brief fondle or two and her nervous giggles and half hearted protests telling me its only a matter of time…
BINGO! A most satisfying evening where after a moderate amount of alcohol to help deal with the clench reflex, a goodly amount of lube to ease the way and not a little coaxing and rearranging of bodies we achieved the deed. A most satisfying clench of her fists at the mid point and she stuffed half a pillow on her mouth at another, but then the sheer excitement took over and WOW.
So that was it… always that sense of anti-climax (sic) after the event, guess that’s why the French have the phrase 'La Petit Mort…'.
Never mind sure there are more arses out there. Yep,it does seem I’ve had my bastard credentials renewed this year…
Whilst I’ve been writing on this subject my ex-wife has reminded me of a Radio Breakfast show she heard when she was living in San Francisco I believe it was early 80’s.
They did a competition to win a trip to Hawaii along the lines of Mr and Mrs. That is they speak to the guy at work and ask him three questions, and then they ring his wife at home and ask the same three questions if the answers match, they win. Simple huh? Well sort of unless….
The first question was pretty dull stuff, the second question was about what did they do in the kitchen before leaving for work, the surprising answer for the DJ was that they made love in the Kitchen, so having some fun the DJ went off script and for the third question asked where; “On the kitchen table” comes back the guys answer..
The DJ rings the unsuspecting wife, first question is pretty dull, second question, nervous laugh but after a bit of coaxing the dutiful wife comes back with the answer that they made love, then the heart breaker… bear in mind that most of this woman’s friends and family are probably listening.
The DJ says; “OK for a trip to Hawaii where was it?”
The wife is silent; the DJ has dead air, and he try’s hard to jolly her along; “Come on this for the trip of a lifetime to Hawaii”
The wife says timidly.. “I can’t say that..” She sounds scared…
The husband still on the other line is heard to say; “come on honey tell him its for a trip to Hawaii”… of course the answer they were expecting was “On the kitchen table” The answer the confused woman actually gave as a plaintiff wail…..
”Up the assssss”
Cut to commercial and out….
6/11/2005 1:10 pm
A thug? Fantastic... I wish I could aspire so high|
6/16/2005 8:54 am
Man, your killin me...i'd forgotten about that whole radio bit...your tale of "the quest" was great... your right on...its the thrill of the chase!|