1 open ? to the forum .  

rm_SprkyCplLv69 57M/50F
42 posts
1/1/2006 7:55 am

Last Read:
12/27/2007 5:28 pm

1 open ? to the forum .

ok here goes , plz take into consideration im a 1 fingered typer so there will be errors lol.i and or we have been in AdultFriendFinder land for apprx 6 yrs now and have made Numerous great friends and many aquantinces , so we feel very comfortable in here as a way to express our thoughts and desires as well . My problen starts at apprx 1140 pm last eve , we as a cpl were online me here my wife on her comp under her SN, we had been chatting all eve to numerous friends. Anyway i got up to find food and our teenage daughter sat down at my comp and said hello to a few of the chat rm group that she has met in person as well as heard many nice things said about by myself and wife . anyway she spoke to a cpl who she has met many times on the real world ave, and he has chosen to speak to before here in AdultFriendFinder never land ,but last night he took offense to the fact that my god you let your daughter in here . its a adult swing site . To that i said and i do apoligize fuck you so and so my major ? i suppose is were we as parents and openly consenting adults wrong to let our Teenaged daughter say hi and nothing more to folks we thought were freinds . We fell that a place like this is no news to most Teenagers and it certainly isnt to our as we are openly honest with our kids the know and understand that DAD AND MOM HAVE A HONEST AND LOVING RELATHIONSHIP, but we also may chose to go fuck a friend if the desire hits us lol , and suprise they seem pretty well adjusted to our life style and the real shocker here is they didnt here about it on the gossip circuit at school or by accidenting on the evidense by a misplaced email or other wise . We have strived to raise our kids as normal as possible in this abnormal place we call home ,and in doing so we chose honesty over deciet figuring that hey our kids are human too and might just be astue enough to see thru the haze to reality and see what actually was going on in the real world. Anyway i have Ranted enough for now and stupidly havent really stated much about my origanil ? so here goes are we as parents Wrong to be open and honest and comfortable enough with our kids to allow them access to folks that they 2 have met and called friends, and if we are wrong as Parents for allowing that why pray tell is my kids as well adjusted and willing to see life thru a clear lensed glass rather than seeing only rose colored images . i hope to see a multitude of responces here plz and ty and with that i bid you a fond adeu .


rm_Bct2Esi 51M/50F
1375 posts
1/1/2006 9:37 am

thank you honey, as you well know this completely saddened to me to the point of tears. I trusted that man and he shattered alot of things that I held dear with this man. I guess I shouldn't have put him on a "safe, trustyworthy," pedastel.

You make sense to me, I will post this on my blog to see if can get any response

I guess we found out whom our friends were truly were and we were blessed to find out whom our friends are when they came to her rescue as well as ours and was asking this very same question. With that its time to just move on, this still hurts and I still cry over it

I love you and thank you for doing what I couldn't do and post it here

Happy new year sexy man, oh and what are we doing for that special anniversary on the 21st of this month????? hmmmmm

hugs and kisses sweetie


pleasureyourclit 66M
836 posts
1/1/2006 10:45 am

Friends or those that we think are friends will in time show their true colors… Honesty has always been and will continue to be the best policy. Who ever couple were is irrelative for they seem to be narrow minded and childish in some ways. Just my 2 cents


majordomobilly 48M
50 posts
1/1/2006 11:23 am

First off let me congratulate both of you. I think that it is great that the two of you have such a good relationship. The fact that you are open about it with your teen daughter is a good thing. If you have raised her properly(which you obviously have) then there is nothing wrong with her saying hi to friends of your and there is nothing wrong with her doing it here on AdultFriendFinder. Especially considering the way the world is today, these are things that were you not letting her know about she would be finding out somewhere else. I tend to think that if more parents were open and honest with their kids like you are there would be a lot fewer problems with kids right now. I guess to put it simple, more power to the both of you. You have done the right thing and have no reason to feel bad about it. If other people have problems with it that is for them to deal with. No need for you to worry about it. And if they are true friends, then they won't have a problem. Keep the faith. There are other people out here that see nothing wrong with the way you choose to raise your daughter. Bill


rm_SprkyCplLv69 57M/50F
32 posts
1/1/2006 12:01 pm

To all that have posted a responce i say ty for your perspectives on this issue and plz help to make the world and this site a better place by continueing to offer up your opinions ty again


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
1/1/2006 12:23 pm

I think you should be proud to have an open and truthful relationship with your daughter.

If he had talked to her before on AdultFriendFinder I can't see why he thaought it was bad this time.


NickRules999 39M
9462 posts
1/1/2006 1:22 pm

True, this is an adult site, but as far as the chat room goes, when was the last time we had anything explicit going on there? When was the last time anyone cybered in there? (I have, but it was a long time ago.) The Mountain Room is in reality a community room. As long as I've been there, I've swapped stories about kids, pets, what happened at work, and other such things outside of sex. Granted, there's sex talk, but rarely does it overshadow everything else, and even in the middle of the day. And, no one person is in charge of the room, so they cannot say who can or who can't chat in there. My nephew has seen me chat in the room. I don't have to hide it from him. I just don't click on any profiles, but I have relayed a "hello" from him. Nothing wrong with that.

It sucks this person did this to you. I've had friendships end over some stupid shit before, and it is not fun. I'm behind you.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?


rm_SprkyCplLv69 57M/50F
32 posts
1/1/2006 1:56 pm

oldman i thank you for your opinion and will take it as a very impressive opinion as we should all listen to the older genarations as we could all learn so much by shutting up and taking advice ty again and plz let it be known at least from me i appreciate your wisdom


mailman_81201 51M/50F  
1 post
1/1/2006 1:59 pm

Well dont really know what to say due to we wasnt there but would have came to her aid also.We as parents know what your saying.For our boys know what we do also and we feel its better to be upfront with your kids rather than try to hide things.Our boys understand and leave it at that.Hang in there and hopefully things will turn out ok....D&L


rm_Bct2Esi 51M/50F
1375 posts
1/1/2006 4:16 pm

you all are so supportive and understanding, thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me to us. I was begining to think that I shouldn't have stopped her, when the shit hit the fan. She defended her self rather well and even asked this person "what she did to him to cause him to turn on her like that" you know he never did answer her. She had several of our "friends" come to her rescue and take her into the "rafters" until the gunfire quit as they called it and was just as shocked as we were. You should have seen her face when he did this to her, that is what pissed me off and hurt me the most. We were warned by others that he would eventually show his true colors and we refused to beleive them. Guess we unfortunetly found out the hard way, just how hypocritical this vial being truly is.

To be honest I would rather have my daughter on a site that we are on, then in that stupid AOL one that I talk about that she was in, or in yahoo chat. At least here she is watched and monitored and new whom she was speaking with. In those other rooms we know NO ONE.

You know nick, the only thing that happens in that room she gets on a daily bases by watching TV, going to school, reading the news, playing video games, and living life on a daily bases. She stated that several times to this person and one other couple who took their side..newbies...have no clue who we are or who she is..how sad is that? AS sprky wrote on a testimonial about me, you piss me off and I will ban you from my existance, well guess what, him and that other couple are banned from my existance. Nope they don't care, but I do! This was completely uncalled for and he freaking knows it!

I do appreciate all of you for your response on this, you all rock

{{{{{{{Pleasure}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{nick}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{oldman}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{major}}}}}}
{{{{{{{mailman}}}}}

hugs and smiles


Rideandfun1000 60M

1/2/2006 7:33 am

I was there through 1/2 of it, or at least the tail end ot it - but didn't have all the details or background. At first I admit - I was shocked as I was told who was who on your nicknames... and I didn't know at that time that you are open with her about your lifestyle, so I still didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle.

But I watched her defend herself - and you both - with clarity and straight forward thinking. You and your family are right - there is nothing being said or talked about in the chatroom that teens haven't seen, or don't know about. So, my perspective began to change - even without all the facts. I was still in the "omg shit has hit the fan at the Sprky household", but also impressed with how all three of you handled it.

Now... armed with more of the 'facts' (and not rhetoric) I absolutely applaud you for being so open and honest with your family. You are right - it is much better than her finding out through other means. You, telling her all about your lifestyle, gives her FACTS - both for making her own decisions & judgments about it, and for her to be able to defend you - both for your lifestyle should be so inclined, but also, and perhaps more importantly, for being open and honest with her!

So bravo to you both! I agree with your decisions and respect you highly for your choices.

Well done folks - to you and your daughter - she handled herself very, very well.

Ride


sillyperv 54M

1/2/2006 8:44 am

Honesty usually works best - except answering the "does this make me look fat question" - and secrets, though nobody has to know everything, seems to foster paranoia and distrust between those with the secrets and those without , particularly between parents and children. Knowledge allows people to make choices actively, instead of passively, you are doing well by your children and you should be proud of her defence of you.
Congratulations.


XesSex03 50M/48F

1/2/2006 9:06 am

I applaud you for being able to be open with your children. It is probably better that way. I say probably because we have chosen not to share the details of our sex lives with ours, yet at least. It's not because we wish to hide it from them, we just don't want any of their friends to "accidentally" find out. I could never ask other children to lie to their own parents about what we do and it is a small town and we are surrounded by both of our families.
I would, however, prefer for them to find out from us than on the rumor mill, or accidentally "find" something on our computer or however that shit happens. We really don't want them to grow up like we did thinking sex was bad or we were bad for doing it and totally incapable of communicating about it. It almost destroyed our marraige until we discovered we both wanted the same thing and began to open up with each other. We just haven't figured out how or when to break it to them.
On the subject of your "friend" we have known some people who just can't let go of the idea that they are doing something wrong here and once in a while something sets them off. I think that they are just not being honest with themselves and do this for the wrong reasons although even in our house once in a while our upbringing rears it's ugly head and one or both of us starts feeling guilty but we never push our feelings on others. If someone feels so strongly that there is something wrong with being on here then they should not be on here. Don't know how someone could judge people based on ideas and feelings that they can't even get straight in their own head.
All this being said, not knowing you very well and definately not knowing this other person at all, perhaps it would be wise to consider what might have happened to set him off. Things happen in our lives that make us re-think everything and it can take a while to get things sorted out and "find our path" again. I wasn't there so I don't know exactly what happened.
You should consider these things but it is still possible that he is just an ass.

Just my thoughts,
Mr. Xes


rm_SprkyCplLv69 57M/50F
32 posts
1/2/2006 10:09 am

ty XesSex your post reply was appreciated for it thinking and having just checked out your blog i must say i think you 2,s thinking process and mine are quit alike plz contenue to give poeple those thought provoking items to ponder . again a big thank you for talking the time to read and responde to my ?


rm_Bct2Esi 51M/50F
1375 posts
1/2/2006 12:34 pm

ride....thank you for that, I read your post to her and she smiled as I read it to her. Honesty has always been our best policy with our children

silly....very true and thank you for you honesty

xessex....thank you as well

{{{{{{{{rideandfun1000}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{sillyprev}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{xessex}}}}}}}}}}

thank you all of you you all rock

hugs and smiles


rm_Bct2Esi 51M/50F
1375 posts
1/5/2006 7:16 am

Play Full thank you for that You are right, everything does happen for a reason, it is still sad to have this happen. When it comes to raising our children, we have always done what we thought was best for them. Yep that has caused fights between us and them, now that the oldest is in College, and our daughter close to being there as well. They are slowly seeing that we wasn't that bad after all

We wish you the best, thank you for giving us your 2cents...hehehehe

hugs and smiles


teddybare426 58M
487 posts
1/6/2006 6:15 am

Your daughter is very lucky. She has parents that are honest. Long after everything dies down, she will still have parents she can talk to. I am not sure I could be as open as you are, seems to have worked well for you. As the single parent of four, I do understand some of your problems. I wish you the best and again I think your daughter is very lucky to have you.


rm_jojoyoyojojo 56M
73 posts
1/6/2006 10:02 am

A lot of times we think about how all the crap impact us at the moment. Teddy points out the importance of the longer term. Our kids grow a little more each day (hopefully I do too!) and each of those experiences of truthfulness determines the relationship for the future. Eventually our kids will be adults and our equals. Then, hopefully, friends as well as offspring.
I have a good friend that "swings" and she could tell her dad (not her mom) anything about her "dalliances", although he didn't "disport" himself. I can't think of a better relationship than to be able to discuss anything with your parent, including "rollicking".
People just warp out about sex when it is fun, everyone does it, and we're taught not to give in to peer pressure! But most people do give in and get weird about it.


rm_Bct2Esi 51M/50F
1375 posts
1/6/2006 11:19 am

teddybare...thank you, we all laugh about this now she is a well adjusted teenager. It amazes me how many adults treat as their equal and not just another pain in the ass teenager

Jojojo...very true....you made some points, you know my husband and I have this same relationship with our parents. Yes we talk to our Parents about everything and anything. My parents are divorced so my step parents were impressed at the way us kids were, very open and honest Both of our children are awesome and relfect us and how they were raised and NOT a single adult treats them like typical teenagers, they are respected, and trusted because of their mental make up.

{{{{{{{{{{teddybare}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{jojo}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

thank you two for you

hugs and smiles


rm_jojoyoyojojo 56M
73 posts
1/6/2006 12:32 pm

I could talk with my dad, but he's a slut so that would be easy! He has been in 'open' relationships, but I can't say what it is now. And I mean slut as a compliment, lol. I saw this magnet that had a woman saying "I thought I was a slut, then I figured out I'm just acting like a man."
Anyhow, glad you can laugh about it now!

PEACE


rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
1/6/2006 6:45 pm

Just checked into your blog again...been too busy to do much blogging lately...just to say hi...and to agree with pretty much everything above...

I have always believed that openness(sp?) and honesty with your children makes for better-adjusted humans in the long run...


teddybare426 58M
487 posts
1/6/2006 9:50 pm

Glad you're already at the laughing about it stage. What you wrote about being respected applies to mine too. You seem to be as proud of them as I am mine. We must have done something right.
Skimed thru a little of your blogs, liked the style. I'll be back.[maybe with some questions. I think here I'd get an honest answer]


rm_SprkyCplLv69 57M/50F
32 posts
1/7/2006 1:16 pm

I Appreciate all of your opinions and will try to keep a open mind as i read the opinions i asked for ,but it is nice to see the majority seems to agree with our attitudes on this subject again ty all for the time spent reading My rant lol


rm_Bct2Esi 51M/50F
1375 posts
1/7/2006 6:26 pm

I so appreciate all the responses, wow, we truly appreciate all of you

{{{{{{{katey}}}}}}}} my dear friend, will do that
{{{{{{ jojojo}}}}}}} you are too funny,
{{{{{{teddybare}}}}} stop in any time,
{{{{{{corezon}}}}}}} keep up the work on yours, and quit burning the candle at both ends...sheeeesh...hehehehe

hugs, luvs, and smiles to each and everyone of you I appreciate you all


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