Mindfulness Meditation or Not...  

rm_Sloppyjoe812 58M
58 posts
6/9/2006 9:41 am

Last Read:
6/23/2006 6:23 pm

Mindfulness Meditation or Not...

Anyway, I was living moment to moment in an endless mindful/lessness when all of a sudden today turned into tomorrow. Just like that! I’m just sitting here, naked, cold, headache, and mindless when it happened just like that. NOW try and tell me mindlessness doesn’t work. Not many people are as mentally challenged… let me start again. Not many people are as mentally gifted as all that. Today…tomorrow, badda bing!

This is how I think Mindfulness Meditation works: first you take 5 deep breaths, from your diaphragm or whatever disgusting thing you want to call it; then tell yourself to relax, for a really, really long time ‒ are you with me? Alright so now you’re starting to feel a little sensation. Now reach down deep into your inner self and have 8 shots of whiskey. Now we’re getting somewhere. Where, I don’t know, but now the few brain cells that are left are starting to soften. Your mind starts to drift and can almost touch that image of Ms. Gordon, your 10th grade Spanish teacher. But you don’t want to touch her. Your mind snaps back to an alpha state. You just for right now, want her to strip down to her panties while she does the Macarena on your desk. You drift…

This is the part where everything goes blank for a little while. Can’t remember a goddamn thing, but one brain cell is singing that fucking Macarena very loud. This is the brain cell you want dead. All the other cells have gone to the mall or out to the beach, and this little shit wants to sing. It’s probably dancing also because now your head is pitching slowly up and down. You suddenly realize 5 more shots of whiskey could kill this fucker, and we can get back to Ms.Gordon.

To be continued…


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