The Black Hills Rally  

rm_SlaveDragon5 44M
53 posts
8/13/2006 10:43 pm

Last Read:
9/3/2006 11:19 pm

The Black Hills Rally


How I waited this long to attend this event is truly beyond my comprehension. What a time; what an absolutely unreal time. If you haven't seen it, biker or not, you need to. Incredible. On with the show.....

Friday 8/4:

4:30 AM: Phone rings. "Hey buddy, we're on the road!! See you tonight!" The Dragon's buddies NEVER work, damnit!

11:30 AM: Dragon gets done at the job and hits the highway. I love vacation! I love Sturgis! I love being a biker!! Hooray for me!

3 PM: Jesus Christ it's 612 degrees out here. I'm gunning the engine and smoking through, though. You can't stop me on a motorcycle. I'm the toughest S.O.B. I know.

5 PM: is what I'm doing. Holy Mary, I'm sweating like a whore in church. My hands, back, hips, neck and shoulders are killing me. I'm somewhere in Iowa. What kind of state is this anyway? Can a brother get some scenery around here?

7 PM: I hate vacation. I lost feeling in my ass about 45 minutes ago, and every inch of the rest of my body is aching. I've been on this f@$@^ing bike for 7.5 hours straight. I hate being a biker!

8:15 PM: I'm at the hotel!! Whew, thank God. My buddies are all drunk. Well slap my ass and call me Susan, how about a cold beer? That would be super, but my hands are locked in throttle position. Hmmmm, making love to myself tonight is going to be challenging!

8:23 PM: Dragon has two drinks of icy Bud Light and promptly passes out, dead bugs and all. What a day.

Saturday 8/5

Ride from Souix Falls, Iowa to Sturgis, South Dakota. We're here. Look out Black Hills, a Dragon lurks!!

Sunday 8/6

A morning shower and I feel great!! The bike is running like a striped ass ape, and I'm ready to see what all the hubub is about....let's go to town!!!

8:30 AM: "I'm sorry? Did you just say that two eggs and toast is $8.50?!? That's a little high, dontchathink?"

10 AM: Gas is $3.55 a gallon? That's a little high, dontchathink?

10:09 AM: Guess who found Main Street!!

10:11 AM: Excuse me, maam...but is that airbrush you have on your otherwise naked body? And if I told you how good it looked would you hold it against me in the morning?!? (Damn, my wit knows NO bounds!)

10:11:30 AM: "This is your first time here, isn't it, big boy?" "Um, yes, airbrush girl, it is?" "Yeah, thought so." Grrr, game needs some polish!

4 PM: Holy sh*t. I can't believe how many bikes are here. Literally as far as the eye can see. Amazing!!

8 PM: Well, time to head back to the campsite and wind down.....

Monday 8/7

All day ride. Iron Mountain Road. Needles Highway. Drank a brew or two. Unbelievable scenery. I love South Dakota!!

Tuesday 8/8

All day ride. Mount Rushmore (hey, those guys look familiar!). Crazy Horse national monument. You don't see that sh*t in St. Louis! Breathtaking!! I love South Dakota!!

Wednesday 8/9

Devil's Tower ride. Nice! Pretty sure my ex-wife has a vacation home at the top. Well, it is in Wyoming, so I love South Dakota. But, thinking about her makes me want to get drunk......

7 PM: That's IT! I'm going to town and I'm drinking! Who is coming with me?!?

7:00:00.003: WE ARE!! Dragon's buddies are the greatest!!

7:30 PM: Hey, the Full Throttle Saloon. Largest "biker bar" in the world, eh. My kind of place!

7:45 PM: "Hey J, burnout contest at 9, dude?"

8 PM: Guess who signed up?

9 PM: Dragon is a nervous wreck. No bullsh*t, there is at least ten thousand people in this place. This isn't a bar, it's a stadium.

9:20 PM: Burn the tire, in the qualifying round. Wow, that went well....90 seconds of smoking rubber! Smells like the Dragon's bedroom when he really gets working!!!!! (Shameless self promo, there....all completely and sadly untrue).

10:45 PM: Calling collect to Mom and Dad's house....: "Hey, log on to the Full Throttle website. They are doing a live webcast of the burnouts and your son is going to be on it!" Mom says super, she's logging on! Dad says he gave birth to no children that lived. Hmmm, not a fan, I guess!

11:01 PM: Dragon is up!!

11:02 PM: The bike burning next to the Express is a Rice Rocket. Are you serious?!? And he's talking sh*t to me. Incredible. Lift my glasses just to make sure it's not 'Yellow' (fellow AdultFriendFinder'er) next to me. It's not, but he is a punk kid, and lessons must be doled out.....Let's burn!!

11:04 PM: Jap bike is sputtering out....and his smoke is weak!! I wish I could laugh at him, but I'm too busy going deaf from the pipe noise off the Express.

11:04:30 PM: F@%$@%$ it. I'm going to burn this tire off. I don't know why. It just sounds like the thing to do. Thunder is all around me. The bike is ROARING and the crowd is even louder!! This in unbelievable.

11:06ish: Tire blows. Drive belt breaks. 5,000-7,000 people are literally SCREAMING at me! Somewhere in the chaos, brake light and license plate bracket snapped in two. Exhaust pipes are COVERED in rubber and burn marks from my jeans. Dragon has rubber all OVER him!! I climb off my baby, let her fall against the side wall (who needs the kickstand), climb the fence, shake a fist or two, get flashed by no less than a hundred women and beers are being shoved at me from every direction!! This, my friend's, is living!! I love being a biker!!!

11:15 PM: Holy f#!%%. The bike is shot. It is broke all over. Damn, I've got a hell of a lot of wrenching to do. But I saw a lot of boobies I'll never get to touch!!! Sturgis RULES!!

Thursday 8/10

Bike shopping. Guess who is planning on building a new Express? It will be a while, but the idea is in the making.....! A buddy drops $34,000 like it's nothing, and walks out with a bike that will win trophies in the greater STL area. I hate that guy! I dropped $34 on a few T-shirts! Super!

Stop by Sick Boy Cycles and grab a couple of gifts for the kiddos. My daughter's shirt says "Daddy's little Chopper Chick." True, so very true!

Ride Spearfish Canyon. Go to Deadwood and lose a few bucks gambling.

Hit the Knuckles Saloon in the late afternoon where I get recruited to fight my buddy in a Toughman competition. Hit him twice and bloody his nose. Feel like a complete d*ck, until he gets mad about it and punches me in the funsack. Dragon rolls around on the ground and no one offers to rub out the pain. Are you kidding me?!? Did none of these women SEE my burnout the night before?!?! Sweet baby Moses!!

Friday 8/11

Ride the Badlands.

A life long dream.

I am no outlaw. I am not even a hardcore biker. But to be there, at this point in my life, was an experience I will cherish for the rest of my days. I rode them alone. I stopped, and walked to the bottom of the canyons, and I swear I got chills over and over again. So quiet you could hear yourself breathe. Found an arrowhead. Had it made into a necklace for my son.
I believe in God. I was raised in a Catholic family with parents who took strides to make sure I had values. I truly believe that He resides in South Dakota. Forget the cowboys, the Indians had it right. What a special part of the country. I suggest if any of you EVER get the chance to go see it, you take that opportunity. Beautiful, breathtaking, and inspiring. What a moving experience.

9 PM: time to pack up. Leaving in the

3:00 AM: Pulling out and heading back to STL. God, I love South Dakota....!!

Sturgis was great. I met so many good people, and friendly people, and happy people, that I think things will be super in Dragon's little corner of the world. I want to go back tomorrow!!

Miss you all, and see you soon. And if you ever get the chance to go, please, ignore the stuff you see and hear from the media. Go. It is truly a fantastic and exciting experience.

I will not miss another one.


ridemcowgirl2006 53M/38F

8/14/2006 10:23 am

I am so fuckin jealous.. I hate you man!!


TiredOFtoads2 50F

8/14/2006 11:10 am

That was great love the feeling that you give when you tell the story....I will be doing some sight seeing soon....glad that you made it there and back in one smiling Dragon piece.....

**bookmark** things to do on my next summer vacation.....

Glad your back....

tanandslick2 47F

8/14/2006 5:04 pm

Hey we are making reservations for next year already make sure we have a place.......maybe we can ALL ride up together...we have friends that are planning on going with us...the MORE the MERRIER.....

You need to write a book on your travels....their GREAT,and FUN to read........Glad you are home with all your freinds....

See you soon,we need to ride again....!!!

Tan & DOIN.................

rm_SlaveDragon5 44M
9 posts
8/14/2006 11:19 pm

Tan, Toads, and Jealous:

Trust me when I say I thought of you all. It was the time of my life, and I know that you would enjoy the hell out of it.

Three words: Sweet baby Moses!

I hope to ride it with you next year...


julie31andhubby 76M/73F

8/15/2006 7:02 am

Glad you had a blast..........stranger! lol )~~

Lass4fun 42F
3 posts
8/15/2006 9:32 pm

Well I suppose I need to get my own bike so I can join you all next year..I swore I would not go to Sturgis until I had my own bike to ride those 1,200 miles there myself!!

After that ride in April, I think I got my ass in shape, don't ya' think, Slave?? hehe

Sounds like a blast, not to mention the landscape, and glad you are home safe...see ya' soon!!

kuriouskatt4 50F
9 posts
8/16/2006 2:26 pm

Sounds like an incredible trip! Glad you had a great time and are home safe.


teaser2009 34F

8/17/2006 11:43 pm

Oh that story was great. I litterally almost peed my pants when I got to the part about the fight and the punch to the fun sack. I'm sorry, as much as that had to hurt, it was one of the funniest things i've read in awhile. Go look in my network album and we'll have to work on the massage

Glad you made the drive there and back safely


rm_SlaveDragon5 44M
9 posts
8/19/2006 12:54 am


I'll SO hold you to that!!

Frostygirl 46F

8/29/2006 2:42 pm

Sounds like you had a blast Slave I am so Happy for you!!!!!

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