rm_Simplysexy65 50F
870 posts
6/11/2006 11:30 am

Last Read:
7/10/2006 1:27 am


For those who have loved, and lost, have never truly loved, or who have experienced this first hand..........whether your soulmate was a friend or unforgettably a whole lot more.......


When we are born it begins a journey. Along the way on this long, winding path we eventually end up seeking many things of which one is love. In the beginning, it's from our parents, then our family, community and so on. Eventually, assuming all goes right, we begin to find that we have a void within us which other forms of love can't seem to fill.

We've all known loneliness, a dark emptiness within our soul which seems to stretch for an eternity. We feel like we're a part of nothing, just drifting aimlessly upon the sea of humanity with no destination, nor land in sight. At times despair is like our wet clothing as we shiver cold and alone in the darkness. To distract ourselves we dream of "The One" and how they'll lift our spirits and take away the emptiness, this absence of life.

Eventually, for some, someone comes along and brings light to this darkness. But sometimes, as humans, we're by this time so starved to be "touched" that we unknowingly make compromises which, if we were rational, we would not make. Thus the saying "blinded by love". Because of these compromises we may never find our true pre-destined love.

Many of you now are not in a "soulmate" relationship. The truth is you got tired of waiting and you settled for the best "offer" at the time. This was your choice and now is your karma. But in your heart, in your soul, you know if someone is your soulmate for it goes beyond just love. It is a form of joining.

When you meet your soulmate, this person will have an instantaneous effect on you. A soulmate is someone who makes your knees go weak and you need to catch your breath. With but a single glance they lessen your burden and but a smile warm your heart. You'll feel a sense of connection (affinity) with this person. They'll touch you so deeply on so many levels that you'll want to share your innermost secrets. For the first time in your life someone will make you feel almost like a god. Once you've met your soulmate, for better or sometimes worse, your life will never be the same.

One of the things which makes this experience unique is the sense of a meaningful spiritual experience. You both feel like this is to be and that you've been together before in a past incarnation. Normally for some it is several months, weeks, or days before a higher level of connection occurs. But when you meet your soulmate, something happens. The pull or drive to be with this person overwhelms many and one finds it beginning basically in the initial meeting. There's a sense of safety with this person. You knowingly let go of your defenses as an empathic-like bond is formed. Unlike other relationships in the past there'll be no game playing or hidden agendas which plagued you in the past.

Sometimes the best way to find something is by not looking for it. With this in mind you'll probably meet your soulmate when you're not looking. Since life revels in making things difficult, you'll probably meet them in the morning when you're on the graveyard shift. For many it will be after a bad relationship or several bad relationships. If you're lucky you won't have to wait until you're fifty to meet your soulmate. But if you do, well at least you'll appreciate its significance more than someone in their twenties. You'll have had the benefit of experience, the perspective of age, and the knowledge that such love is once in a lifetime.

The point here is "serendipity" so forget about taking that singles bus tour to the circus. Sure, you'll meet a lot of nice people and perhaps you really should get out, but just be prepared to... well, meet some real clowns.

The universe is a funny place, don't be surprised if your soulmate is younger or older. Soulmates don't care about age. How much older or younger? From what I've seen, expect a 7 to 20 year difference.

There is something about the passion you share with a soulmate. It goes beyond just physical attraction. For a moment in time you two are the only ones who exist in the universe. Hearts beating in rhythm as your souls have intertwined themselves becoming one. Your personal energies meld and you feel the flame of creation move through you like an ocean wave on a hot summer's day. Soon you begin to lose track of where you begin and your partner ends. From within the depths of your passionate feelings for this person your soulmate will know and reciprocate those things which make you feel loved. They will look into your eyes and you will feel your soul open wide. For some people, there is the "rush". All the love, all the lust, all the need will surge forth from your souls like captives from a prison. At this moment you'll know what it means to get lost within someone's eyes. You'll experience a touch you've never felt before and your lust will rise to new levels. To put it simply, your soulmate will be able to make love to you in ways no one else will be able to match. It is within our nature as human beings to foul things up. The very thing which makes soulmate love so special is also the one thing which can bring it down. The simple fact is that unparalleled love and passion is terrifying to many people.

We learned how to have relationships from our parents or primary caregivers. If your primary caregiver's relationships were dysfunctional then chances are so are yours. There are many people in this world who in relationships maintain an extreme amount of emotional control. They take pride in the fact their partner is madly in love with them. By being able to "wrap them around their finger" they feel safer. Thus, all their relationships become based on this pattern. Then one day their soulmate comes along and wham! Quickly they discover the control over their heart and the relationship is gone. Now they must relate on a level playing field and, for many, they run.

For those of you who are runners let me tell you what you already know. It doesn't work. You can move to the other side of the planet, marry someone else and fill your spare time up with some cause.

But the simple truth is your soulmate will be there in your soul. No matter how hard you try, no matter how busy you make yourself, everyday they will enter your thoughts. So then many try and force them out by being with other people, but that doesn't work either, for afterwards you'll feel empty and cheated.

If you run then you've made the conscious choice to doom yourself and the other person to be haunted for the rest of your lives. Sure, eventually you may fall in love with someone who fits your
preconceived image or expectation (cute, rich, successful) of what your partner should be. But as time moves on you never forget. You always wonder and then eventually you regret.

I have a saying, and hold fast to this and share it too:

"A person who risks nothing...
Loves nothing...
Therefore, anything worth my love is worth a fight."

The soulmate relationship is worth putting up a fight but there comes a time when you have done all you can and you can do no more. At some point the one who runs has to choose to stop and come to their senses. Life, sadly, is cruel just as it is grand. Short of burying your child, losing your soulmate is indescribeable anguish.

It's like having half of your tender soul ripped from your body. You feel lost, abandoned, and betrayed. There's a sense of panic which permeates your very being and personal existence. You find yourself saying "never again". You did something you never had done before - you willingly let another in, all the way.

Eventually, after the shock, the depression comes, then the anger, and you just want it all to end. You wish you could just stop feeling but you can't and no matter how much you drink, smoke, or snort, you can't make the pain go away. Yes, regular love hurts too and badly, but when you lose a soulmate no matter how enlightened, wise, talented,or strong in both will and spirit you are, it is devastating. You are to remain strong and be of good courage. Nothing will overcome you.. unless you let it in, especially love or a soulmate.

In the end, we don't want to even see the person because that just tears open the wound over and over. Right or wrong, that's just the way it is. Eventually, you go on with your life and you stop hating them because like you... they'll never forget either.

Every now and then life gives us a happy ending. Sometimes, after trying to get their soulmate out of their minds, the "runner" comes to realize what they had lost. A few are wise enough to do whatever it takes to correct the situation and get back into their soulmate's arms. Hopefully, not enough time has gone by so that the situation is salvageable. But often times it is not. All I can say is TRY. With soulmates there is no pride and there CAN be forgiveness. We are destined to meet our soulmate... what you do after that is your choice.

We are born into this world alone and we begin our journey. If we are lucky we find the right partner... "The ONE" along the way. With this person we grow, learn, and experience the wonders of human existence. They become a part of us as we become a part of them. Eventually, our journey must end and as we were born - we die...with those who truly love us by our side. But in between these two points, hopefully we've learned, experienced, and wholeheartedly felt true love with the chance to pass it on to those we leave behind.

rm_jimblue5 63M
2 posts
6/11/2006 12:15 pm

Greeting simplysexy65

Your post was so refreshing to read, I don't think you missed a point about what a "SOUL MATE" is and just how lucky those that has one or is still looking for, Does have or can have. My Hat is off to you.

You have a great gift to express your feeling well.
KEEP UP the good work.

My best to you and yours. truly super!!!!!!


rm_Simplysexy65 replies on 6/11/2006 1:22 pm:
Hey Jimblue5...may I call you Jim? Hehe
Yes...well it is Sunday Morning so I felt obligated to spread words of wisdom! We should all hope to find that one person in life but it usually happens when one is not looking. The word Serendipity says it best. Have a wonderful day and thanks for the comment! Life is short! Play hard!

rm_gata11459 57F
10597 posts
6/11/2006 1:21 pm

wow.. this was incredible.. you've put into words something that i have not been able to express. i used to wonder if there was really such a thing as a soulmate, or if it was just an over used word that we glibbly toss about as we so often do. i have discovered the true existence tho, and know the bittersweet pain and joy of this depth. So much of what you have said here is spot on.. as though you have looked into hearts and lives and seen. I appreciate and glory in your words here.. i hope you dont mind if i link to this in my own blog. xoxo thank you again k

Peace xxx K

rm_Simplysexy65 replies on 6/12/2006 10:30 pm:
Thank you for the comment! Please feel free to take or link anything!!! And laugh at some of my stupid jokes if u willOne does not know true happiness until you have experienced sadness! Happy trails to you!

sir_licksallot 70M

6/11/2006 5:37 pm

I have a different view and if I sign up here I will develop a blog to go into this further but for now....
I think the idea of there being only one soulmate is potentially harmful. What if you find your soulmate at the age of 17 but by 19 realize that her directions in life are 180 degrees opposite yours and you part? Are you doomed to a life of pain? I thought so. It took me 30 some odd years and the relationship from hell to realize We all have the ability to love fully and completely ANY TIME WE WANT! Theoretically, ANYBODY can be your soulmate. It gets harder as we "mature" because of all the slings and arrows sticking out of us. We no longer trust that feeling, are afraid of it, some even hate it. And we develop elaborate theories to keep us from opening our hearts - theories like - "I'd love you but there's no chemistry so you can't be my soul mate. auvoir" and we wrap our theory around us to keep us warm.
We say we won't "settle" for anything less - but is that just a way of not allowing access to our heart? Maybe "settling" is just a way of easing into the pool rather than diving in headfirst. I mean, if you've ever jumped into a pool only to find there's no water, after you leave the hospital you're a bit more cautious next time, yes? So "settling" can be a great way to be sure there's water in the pool...that the other is willing to open their heart as we are. Or you can just do it. But the key is: if you can open your heart and the other does the same - you will find that the love you thought you never could have - has been there all along!
I speak from experience to free the broken hearted folks out here in blog-land! Ta-Da! Be Free!
(I gotta sign up for this one cuz there are some free people here and maybe I'll find my soulmate. Ha!)

rm_Simplysexy65 replies on 6/12/2006 11:12 pm:
Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile,because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your HEART smile." It is the "one" you find the "simple things" with...the simple things that make you smile.

So often, when love is lost, we are left with feelings of hurt and anger. But not always. Sometimes, a love is so strong it seeks, instead, to understand. Communication is the key to any relationship. Understand each other at a level unlike others...almost in silence with out words signals a bond. Unconditional love is the foundation.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
6/11/2006 11:53 pm

Astounding...why are the hairs standing up on the back of my neck?...just wonderful...thankyou...


rm_Simplysexy65 replies on 6/12/2006 11:24 pm:
Well, I think your hairs are standing on end because your mom did a great job and you had a wonderful relationship with her...and I bet you like to cuddle too! And I hope you find happiness or have it already!


6/12/2006 8:05 am

So much truth and so well crafted it express's so much of what I have felt and still feel. As you say the universe is a funny place and sometimes has a sense of timimng that is beyond our control. What u said covers so much of what I feel inside that the bond is unbreakable no matter what even new relationships or time itself that connection will always exist. Like shattered fragments of one soul floating through time and space always waiting to be rejoined.

runzwithknives 59F

6/12/2006 11:07 am

You've put this into words that most of us simply cannot. Yet we sometimes think it silently and fearfully. Beautiful. I hope you don't mind me linking this as well.

Many of you now are not in a "soulmate" relationship. The truth is you got tired of waiting and you settled for the best "offer" at the time. This was your choice and now is your karma.

I cried when I read all of this. Yes, I have always lived this in my desperation to be loved and accepted...Some of the worst reasons for love...

But in your heart, in your soul, you know if someone is your soulmate for it goes beyond just love. It is a form of joining.

I've experienced this. A form of joining and more...

A few are wise enough to do whatever it takes to correct the situation and get back into their soulmate's arms. Hopefully, not enough time has gone by so that the situation is salvageable. But often times it is not. All I can say is TRY. With soulmates there is no pride and there CAN be forgiveness. We are destined to meet our soulmate... what you do after that is your choice.

Very true. Trying, trying...the journey is difficult...

xoxoxo for this.

rm_Simplysexy65 replies on 6/12/2006 9:22 pm:
HI! Link all you want! I am glad it had meaning and wishing you the best on your journey throught life! Rent the Moive I listed below! People die , but love never dies!! Gosh, am I allowed to say the LOVE word on AdultFriendFinder?


TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/13/2006 1:37 pm

I found you by way of Runzwithknives....this post is incredible. One of my favorites of all time. You touch on so many things. I believe you. What you say is so true....I came from a dysfunctional family...never did I realize the effect it had on me until the last few years, my marriage. I made many compromises in my marriage. And you know, I never thought he was my soulmate, even when we married. But he was safe for me in a way...i guess I needed that at the time. But I want so much more....I think he's out there.

sfvppl818 50M/50F

6/15/2006 5:55 pm

    Quoting humboldthonni:
    beautiful thoughts...and I have read them on the internet somewhere else...whats your real take on this
what's your take?

This just in: Bush confirms what we've all long suspected: There is no oil anywhere near Hawaii!

rm_FunCumGuy69 48M
14 posts
7/9/2006 12:59 pm're good

Assoholic2 56M  
4 posts
8/13/2006 2:42 pm

You write so well. That was a beautiful and uplifting post and so true. I met my soulmate years ago, when we were both 17 and formed such a strong bond. There were many reasons we didn`t stay together. Fate,destiny, bad choices, things beyond our control and sometimes it was just too intense. Over the years, whenever our paths crossed that connection was still there. Over 30 years later it is still there and still intense. You are right that you cannot forget and it is true that however painful it can be, it is still much better to have loved like that and lost than to have never known it. Thank You for writing that, I am so glad I read it.

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