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Sex in the City
Sex in the City
Attention Men: We know the TV show "Sex and the City" has annoyed you for many years but now is the time to use it to your advantage. After all, this is what men have been requesting for years: an honest, no-holds-barred window into the motivations, desires and eccentricities of the women they treasure so much.
Well, it's your lucky day; I have analyzed the entire Sex and the City series for its most useful insights into the female mind. So unless you want to keep extracting your knowledge about women from Wilma Flintstone and Mrs. Jetson, take note of these points and start adding some much needed sex to the city you live in.
Keep in mind, however, that the details provided below are taken from a fictional show and may not apply to all real, live women.
Modern women can be suspicious and cynical about romantic gestures.
Evidence: Carrie -- the central character of the show, played by Sarah Jessica Parker -- is unrelenting in her criticism of men that are actually willing to show her they like her. She chastises a Russian painter for reading love poems to her and she is miffed when another boyfriend withholds sex during their first few dates in order to make their first time together romantic.
Lesson learned: Outside of the big holidays, like Valentine's day and Christmas, attempts to provide women with romantic gifts are generally futile. Not only might your act of love be accepted with low-key hostility and suspicion, you will also be wasting good money that you could be spending on yourself.
Women can sabotage their relationships to make them fail.
Evidence: Samantha -- the character that prides herself on treating men as sexual objects, played by Kim Cattrall -- cheated on her boyfriend and even told him before she did it. Why? Because she was nervous about being in a long-term relationship and was hoping to use her infidelity as a means to push him away.
Lesson learned: When a relationship goes sour, know that there is a good chance it wasn't beer and sports that drove your girlfriend away; it was her own neurosis. So when the breakup does occur, take comfort in the fact that you won't be spending your days with a woman who is obsessed with problems that don't exist.
How do the women of Sex and the City feel about using younger men for their pleasure...
Women have no problem using younger men as their servile sex toys.
Evidence: Every character on Sex and the City has taken a younger man under her sexual wing at least once, all the while making it clear that these males are bedroom accessories and not boyfriends.
Lesson learned: If you're a young man looking for an easy, sex-based relationship, your best bet for finding a kindred spirit is to search 10 years up the dating chain.
Women like to drink.
Evidence: Women on Sex and the City open their mouths for three key reasons: talking, eating and pounding back liquor.
Lesson learned: Alcohol is the quickest way to bring basic human drives -- such as aggression, sadness, and most importantly, sex -- to the forefront of any social interaction. And now that women are comfortable drinking on a regular basis, be certain that martinis and gin and tonics are within arm's reach the next time you meet up with a potential "bed buddy."
Despite their cynicism about romance, the word "love" is still very important to women.
Evidence: Though Carrie and her boyfriend went to a party together, she had no problem leaving with one of the waiters. And why is this game of sexual musical chairs deemed acceptable? Because the boyfriend hadn't told her he loved her yet, and in the words of Carrie Bradshaw: "Everything before 'I love you' just doesn't count."
Lesson learned: The word love has become a key marker that often determines when a relationship becomes monogamous. This means that even if you think you are in an exclusive relationship, unless you've dropped the "L-bomb," there is a good chance she is still assessing the other romantic options available to her.
Women rarely treat one night of sex as the beginning of a committed relationship.
Evidence: Just like taxes, winter and those god-awful American Song Book albums Rod Stewart keeps putting out, the women of Sex and the City have come to accept that one-night stands are an inevitable part of modern life. And while some of the characters engage in one-night sexcapades less than others, no woman on the show is a stranger to picking up a man for the night and then throwing him out in the morning.
Lesson learned: Unlike in high school, or even college, when having sex with a girl implied you were getting involved in a relationship, today's single women are more than willing to see one night of sex as a biological act and not an emotional one.
Women are capable of distinguishing their sexual partners as either flings or serious relationships.
Evidence: Even Sex and the City's Charlotte -- the conservative girl of the group, played by Kristin Davis -- has made it clear that she separates her sexual partners into two groups: warm bodies and long-term boyfriends. For instance, although Charlotte had deemed her divorce attorney too unattractive to date, she had no problem engaging in frequent sessions of "ugly sex" with him.
Can men sit back and let women control the mating cycle?
Lesson learned: There was a time when men worried that all sexual affairs eventually had to devolve into a standard, run-of-the-mill, boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. The good news is that women are now comfortable keeping certain men around out of pure sexual interest.
If a woman is really attracted to you, she has no problem aggressively pursuing your body.
Evidence: If one of the Sex and the City women finds herself attracted to a man, she is more than willing to use every weapon at her disposal to make sure that man is hers for at least one night. Both Carrie and Samantha have spent thousands of dollars trying to obtain the objects of their desire. The former spent a couple of grand on a chair to secure a date with a furniture designer and the latter coughed up hundreds of dollars to pay off other women who were hitting on a waiter she was eyeing.
Lesson learned: Today's women are not inhibited when it comes to obtaining the men they want. So, if you've spent the entire night debating whether or not the girl across the bar wants you bad -- she probably doesn't. If she did, she would have thrown you into a cab heading toward her place a long time ago.
When it comes to their old relationships, women want closure.
Evidence: Whether their romances end with a bang or just fizzle out, the women of Sex and the City obsess about lingering issues and unanswered questions from their old relationships. For example, after Carrie breaks up with her long-term boyfriend Aidan, she bothers his friends, colleagues and recent girlfriends to find out if he is still mad that she cheated on him and refused to marry him -- duh.
Lesson learned: If you're ending a relationship with a girl you never want to see again, make sure all the loose ends -- both emotional and monetary - are tied up before you leave forever. Otherwise, you run the risk of having to rehash bad memories when she calls at 3 a.m. to find out if you really thought she was special.
All women are different.
Evidence: There is a reason no man has been able to capture more than one heart from the Sex and the City gang: All women are different, and what works for one woman in the realm of romance might not work on another.
Lesson learned: Just because most women have changed their values and norms when it comes to sex and relationships, it doesn't mean that their personalities have become synchronized as well. In the dating game, use your head and always stay on your toes because each romantic escapade is its own journey and there is no universal map that can guide us through each one.
a sex and the city world
For a fictional show about fictional women, Sex and the City has been extremely successful at opening men's eyes to the real world of dating and romance. Which character do you want?