Disqualified by my own De-fault  

rm_Simplysexy65 50F
870 posts
6/13/2006 3:31 pm

Last Read:
6/14/2006 3:19 pm

Disqualified by my own De-fault

There are reasons why I can no longer do beauty pagents, reality TV shows, Jeapardy, and run for Congress or Senate. But I can be an intern at the White House and I just bought a brand new blue dress! Yes, we have the Elitist theory in place! Ever since the damn Internet...some how, some way....my private collection of pictures found their way all over the net! God this makes the post office seem like the easy out!

Those first Polaroids, at twenty-six, were grainy, in classically bad light and at the ying of a man whose yang was not particularly pleasant. I was young and dumb! I pray now that they are long gone. Not in the bottom of some drawer, with a stack of other girls’ Polaroids, beneath the current copy of Penthouse. In some of the photos, I wore a pale green corset. In others, a lemon yellow lace teddy. Green and lemon yellow are two of my least favorite colors, but in those days I wasn't buying my own lingere. Hey? I still don't!

The second set of photos, not Polaroids, but glossy 4 X 5 prints, was taken when I was thirty-two and they are are more to my liking (in memory or theory anyway), though I doubt that they have survived. Thank god this was pre-internet for most! I hope he saved the negatives in the bottom of his box of more “appropriate” photos from that year. I prefers these to those, which preceded them, in part, because I had some (though not all) control over their taking. I was getting smarter! In these I wore (not all at once, of course) a royal blue chemise, a pair of Paris' paisley boxers and the greatest of birthday-suited grins. My Fourth of July ..red, white and blue ensemble was quite the toot!

The third set, (digital, finally) was taken the year I turned thirty-seven. They were my own doing, though with a photog who had an outstanding ability to take direction! Shut up and listen! I was even brighter at this stage of life and so was the damn bulb! Throughout the series, is a rather insistent plea of “Look at me! For fuck’sake look at me, I am getting old!” These DO remain, in two sets of prints, both of which I could locate on a map with some precision....and/or ohh never mind! I wear my favorite colors, hot pink, black and blue, and my favorite fabrics, silk, fishnet and flannel. Fishnet IS a fabric, right? My hair, glossy black and longer than it ever was before and ever has been since, is a shining curtain almost completely obscuring my face. Seduction thy style!
The fourth set, not a set really, but more of a collection, the product of an ongoing project, are my favorites. I have taken nearly every one of them myself. And it's odd, I think that these images, taken more than a decade after the Polaroids, actually please me more. Normally a decade might take a toll on a woman...both externally and internally. And yet, with this fourth series, this fistful of half-naked, fully naked, pseudo-naked photos, I have found some peace with the shell of myself and even more, I now knows that self beneath is better than she ever could be...at twenty-six in green or at thirty-two in paisley boxers or even at thirty-seven in black silk and/or blue. With this fourth series of photos, this ongoing self-discovery, I am becoming....nothing more and nothing less of just simply unique and totally fascinating. There is something to be said for the midlife crisis!

Kristofer32 46M

6/13/2006 4:13 pm

Midlife crisis? Believe me, you don't need to have a crisis. The photos for you are a good thing. You can look at them with pride and say, "damn wasn't I a hot damn forty-something, thirty-something, twenty-something!" I have no doubt you will be proud. If I have a crisis, I buy something stupid that I may or may never use, or I simply go somewhere I can dive. Good for you on your evolution and it is an amazing feat to be able to: 1) have the desire for the photos; 2) the will to take the photos; 3) the sheer confidence to tell people you took them. You are truly amazing~


snakee2 52M

6/14/2006 12:05 pm

Regardless of the era in which the photos were taken, I am certain they are all equally as pleasing to the eye. I can not imagine any film footage where you are the focus that I would not cherish. Please do be so kind as to include me on the mailing list for any and all of your upcoming photo shoots.

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