Just ramdon thoughts  

rm_SammiSaysTo 43F
1085 posts
6/19/2006 11:28 am

Last Read:
6/25/2006 5:58 am

Just ramdon thoughts

Have you ever wished you were someone else, or could go start someplace fresh, where no one knew you? I am not talking about running away from something you did, but just to get a fresh start.

I am envious of people who are reserved and quiet. Sometimes I wish I could just sit back, be quiet for once and just enjoy the scenery. I get too involved with everything sometimes, that it is real easy to lose perspective. I feel as if I look away I might miss something. Sometimes the most obvious things are right in front of your face, but you can't see them. Others around you can see it, but when you are waist deep in something, your vision gets cloudy.

Maybe I wish I could be like those people who are able to disconnect emotionally. Life would be so much easier if I could do that. Just think of everything I could accomplish if I didn't spend so much time feeling. I hate the emotional rollarcoster of life. However, I love being the one who people go to talk to. I love being the cheerleader for those who need it. Maybe I am compensating for what I wish I had. However, I just don't feel comfortable takng my problems to others. I just keep it in...until I burst and then I just move on. I rather people think of me as the happy one, the smiley one. I think it is genetic..even if I am upset, you would never know it..on the outside anyway.

Maybe I want too much, too soon. I have a tendacy to over do everything I do. I can't just have one drink, I have to have four. I just can't buy one thing, I have to buy many. I am scared that nothing will ever be enough. I will still be hungry for more. I am constantly worried that once I get something, it won't be enough. I need a better car, I need a bigger house, I need a better job. I don't think it is a materialistic thing. I just tend to get restless in every aspect of my life.

I know this is rambling..but I think I am getting to the point where I need to burst. I just want to crawl in bed and stay there a few days. Not feeling, just being. Not talking to anyone, just being silent. This brings me to the original point in the first sentence. Just being able to go someplace where no one knows me, where I can just sit back and enjoy the view.

I think I will crawl back into bed now before I spontanously combust!

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!

funintheday2006 56M
9659 posts
6/19/2006 12:22 pm

Oh babe, dont knock yourself out on this one. Its called ambitionand you happen to be one of the people who want to see sucess in tangible form. Providing you keep a good heart, which you do, theres no reason to down yourself. I know exactly where your coming from, i was born into poverty and the thought of returning terrifies me. i still work 16 hours 7 days no holidays and know i dont really have to but I do. Its frustrating at times hon but you gotta accept yourself. Just remember that it is difficult to remember you got in the swamp to clean it when you are up to your arse in alligators. Chill babe, relax

countryheart_71 45F
8082 posts
6/19/2006 2:50 pm

It's not always the most fun being the quiet one. Can get really boring. I know how you feel about wanting to go someplace to start fresh and new. I have those feelings alot sometimes. Just be yourself. That's all that you can be.


rm_SammiSaysTo 43F
872 posts
6/19/2006 3:16 pm

Thanks Funintheday...It is kinda funny, I do think I am ambitious, however, don't always want to do the work to get what I want. I guess I have accomplished alot considering where I started, so I can relate to some of what went through, however..I don't think I could work as much as you.

I just happen to be having a boo-hoo me day. My dad left this morning. I know he is moving only five hours away..but still feel the void of his absence amongst other things.

After taking a nice nap, I think I am able to face work tonight. Though I hope I am working where I usually work so that I don't have to interact with many people.

It sounds like you need to take the time to smell the roses though! I do..but just not as much as I would like to..

Take Care

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!

rm_SammiSaysTo 43F
872 posts
6/19/2006 3:19 pm

Thanks Country...I know, the problem is I am being myself...I hate silence, so I talk. When I get started I can't stop...lol...but just having a feeling sorry for myself day. I will get over it. Was going to take down my post...but thought, the hell with it. That is how I am feeling at this time, so let it be!

I am happy to see YOU come out of your shell though! Sorry to say that I missed breakfast Saturday night.

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!

concretejock 38M

6/19/2006 10:15 pm

Hey Sammi. I got your back. you've been a really awesome friend to me. Sorry you couldn't kidnap me tonight and take me to Doc John's. It's all cool.. I really needed my sleep anyway.

With this life, there are so many opportunities to get in a hurried pace to do everything possible; including sex. We've all got to take some time to slow down and enjoy things for what they really are. Friendships, for me, are the most important. I love people. I've been hurt a lot, yeah, but if I build up a wall, I can't really be sensitive to people; i'd have to fake it and that's not me. Those who recognize that I'm a true friend, that I make mistakes and am willing to listen and apologize, that I will always try to look out for them first; yeah they hurt me to from time to time. But so do I.

Relax, babe. Go with the flow. Let things pass you by when you need to take a break. At least once a day. and SMILE!!!!

rm_SammiSaysTo 43F
872 posts
6/20/2006 5:36 am

Thanks CJ..I know you got my back. Sorry I didn't kidnap you last night to go to Dr. Johns....I thought that hot shower would wake me, but made me feel sleepy and the heat made me a little quesy. Another time, perhaps?

I am just such a control freak, that when things seem to be out of my control, I tend to lose it. But after some sleep yesterday and last night, I am feeling better!!

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!

rm_bikerjim1961 55M
356 posts
6/20/2006 3:05 pm

Hey Sammi only problem with a change of life or a big move is that when you get there. Guess what there you are cant seem to get away from yourself. You are a pretty cool lady so if I have any say in it I would say that I am happy with you as you are. Later Jim

rm_SammiSaysTo 43F
872 posts
6/20/2006 7:51 pm

Thanks Jim! That means alot! I think you are a pretty cool dude yourself!

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!

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