Forever  

rm_Sallypus 52F
1056 posts
6/23/2005 8:01 pm

Last Read:
11/25/2006 3:38 am

Forever

Oh my sweet one, I used to scare you at times, intense...love and passion and need, and so much your Mirror Image...we did the same things, for the same reasons, and were so certain it would last forever. We fell in love with the subtlety of a thunder bolt, were consumed by something we had long since given hope of ever finding, and we longed for each other. Forever.

But it doesn't work like that, does it love? I adore you. And you called me on the attempt at nobility every time...knew that I would stand by my word, and never show you a tear, knew that I would smile, kiss you...and walk off half alive and never breath a word. And you would know anyway...I could win an Oscar...a brilliant performance and you would taste the lie. You would look in my eyes and see that it didn't come easy, and didn't come free.

And you would do the same damned thing...urge me to return to arms long since gone cold, on the off chance that I could recapture something I loved. You wanted to spare me pain, loss, and oh yes, tears. But my love, that was foolish. What I have lost will never return to me...

I love you. That does not change...will not change. It grew hard, and fast and put down roots to the soul. I wonder at times what it would have been if I had known you when we both loved bubblegum love songs on the sly...would we have become sweethearts, married at eighteen, made babies and lived a neat little life? But that is silly speculation. I did not meet you then...and when I did I was giddy...punch drunk...I KNEW the soul reaching for me...and when you touched me...god......new vistas? Music that wasn't stale old drivel...colours I never dreamed in your kiss.

SO forgive me if I seem intense at times...forgive me for clutching at you, when I meant only to hold you. Forgive the moments when I simply can't believe that I was even a tiny bit worthy of your love...your admiration. Forgive when the lack of your touch makes me tremble to my centre, and I have to close my eyes to keep from crying. And yes love...forgive me the lie...saying I could bear to lose you, when it crushes me to a fine powder to have you gone. I was a coward you see.

Oh I was a fool. Every beginning starts an ending...and every love ends in tears, always. Two become one...and then one is left alone, and I knew that before you ever saw me. I love you. And I was so terrified of that goodbye...and you knew that too. So please...as long as I can, may I love you? Even if that love seems frightening and overwhelming? Because I've tried to reign it in...my god, have I tried! Oh, in time, it will calm down. It can't burn like that forever...we both know that. And when I am ninety, and sucking my gums, and freaking out the nurses in the home, I will say your name with a certain smile that will drive them all crazy. You gave me much more than you took.

So love me, darling heart. The good thing about dancing in a question mark is that you know that there isn't forever, and every bite is wonderful, and every moment is golden. So love me, please?


Grendel4s 41M

6/24/2005 6:40 pm

Are you even real? Or are you an extension of emotion itself? I read your words, and what I see never fails to sweep me away. I am at a loss, humbled and amazed at the sheer honesty of your words. You have touched a kindred spirit, and awakened something I thought long lost. Thank you.


Grendel4s 41M

6/25/2005 1:14 pm

I only speak truth, no more, no less.


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