Did I mention I hate spiders???  

rm_Sallypus 52F
1056 posts
9/9/2005 4:55 pm

Last Read:
2/21/2009 6:44 am

Did I mention I hate spiders???

Played chauffer to my son this morning. Despite what he thinks, mothers do have some uses. We chatted, we laughed...all was well in the world. I drop him off. I wave. I tune the radio to my station and remember I need to pick up a parcel from the Post Office. So there I was, driving along and happily singing off key to the radio, when I glanced down at the instrument panel and saw something. I looked back up to the road and then drew my eyes down again. Gulped. Sitting there was bloody big huntsman spider. Huge. Massive. Big, even. Now...these are quite harmless, but have such a fat body and long legs and are hairy and have beady eyes and I really don't like spiders. It was sitting there calmly, not moving. Somewhat jaunty in its attitude to being out on a weekend drive. I was in traffic and could not pull to side of road. I am no longer happy.

So I drove the remainding few kilometres to the Post Office with my heart pounding, legs shaking and one eye on road, the other on the intuder. I wasn't game enough to put my hand up and flick on my indicator as that took me too near him. So I imagine I was cursed by those in cars behind me. Road safety be damned...I was in a life or death situation. I pulled up at the Post Office and very, very slowly got out of my car. I took my shoe off and psyched myself into battle readiness. I leaned into the driver's seat and quietly announced to my foe that his days were numbered. Thing was, as much as he terrified me, I didn't have it in me to kill him face to face like that. Whether this was fear or some perverted and totally inappropriate spider empathy, I do not know. And so I made a half hearted effort to squash him...which simply sent him flying onto the passenger side seat.

So please picture yours truly with my car door wide open on a busy road and my backside sticking out, as I again reached over to thump him. This fine effort sent him flying into the back seat of the car. I make a lousy hitman. And now we can't find him. You have no idea how nerve racking the drive back home was. Kept expecting him to crawl down my shoulder. I swear I was a mental wreck by the time I got home. So I have sprayed a can of fly spray into my car, locked it up, and will keep it in the garage for a week until deemed safe to drive again.

So no, I did not wrestle the intruder to the floor of the car and throw him out. His legs outnumbered mine four to one and although I considered it, one look at him flexing his muscles with that "yeah, come on, just you try it" look on his face convinced me it would not be a wise move. And as I had already embarrassed myself enough my standing on a busy street shoeless, with my arse sticking out of my car, I didn't feel the ego could take any further dints. Picture here of me lying prone on the pavement with the spider straddling me, leering "and now what are you going to do?"
I have also seriously considered buying new spiderless car. But that would mean I would have to drive the old one to the car yard for a trade in. Not going anywhere near that baby for a while yet.


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
9/11/2005 1:10 pm

Oh boy! I feel for you! They may be harmless but that
does not make it more comfortable!


Priapeo 46M

9/13/2005 3:36 am

That thing happening to me would have meant an accident for sure. Spiders repel me... it's not just because they are ugly... prawns and lobsters are even uglier, but I never heard about a lobsterofobia!

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience


bigred219722 44M
5 posts
9/21/2005 9:54 pm

Sounds pretty funny but not in serious way at the time!Did you ever find the spider even after that bug bombing ordeal?


rm_OffTapDevil 55M

10/6/2005 4:17 pm

i know how u feel,,the only good spider is a dead spider,,,squish that sucker sally,,dont be frightened,,u go girl


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
2/25/2007 12:19 pm

...so did you ever find the body?...or did you sell the car right out of the garage?...


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