A Split Life  

rm_Rose_Redd85 31F
15 posts
12/15/2005 12:56 am

Last Read:
5/20/2007 11:21 pm

A Split Life

I've always been seen as the good girl. I blame this partly on my sweet, soft innocent voice. The people in my world... every single person that has ever spoken to me, every single person that's ever looked at me... automatically presumes I am trustworthy and kind. They see this quiet, petite beauty and all of a sudden imagine a white picket fence and three kids. Just like my fiance. I don't know how it happened. We met when we were kids- four years go by and I'm engaged. I never wanted to fall in love. I never wanted someone to fall in love with me. But I got caught up in the beauty of it all, was blinded for years and now ... the blindfold is off. I don't think I'm in love anymore. Don't get me wrong, this guy is my very best friend but... I can't help the way I feel. I'm twenty years old. My body is amazing. I am very attractive person and I can't help but like, if not love, the attention I get from strangers. I can't help getting wet as I feel a complete stranger examine my every curve. I find myself fantasizing about what it would be like to rent a cheap, raunchy motel room and fuck him, or her, as naughty and as dirty as I wanted. Not making love. Love is too tricky. Just raw, amazing sex. I wish I had that kind of freedom. I don't want to hurt him, however. Our sex is so predictable and boring. And though I've tried to spice it up a bit by fondling him or revealing myself in public, he's way to much of a prude to appreciate it. I've tried several times to end it with him but he guilts me back in to my familiar place. So what's a good girl to do? Do I continue to swallow my desires and in the process throw some very interesting and desirable sexual opportunities away? Or should I split my life into two? One life being run by the reliable, sweet girl. And the other ran by Rose Red.

AusTxman032 50M
62 posts
12/15/2005 5:33 am

Do not get tied down at such a young age to someone who doesnt have the same fundemental views on sex as you. I did that. Got married, pushed back my wants and desires and didnt let them out, and here I am at 38...and by god nature is taking its course and they are coming out and I am meeting women who have the same desires and I am in a pickle as to how to deal with it.
You are lucky, no marriage or kids to get in the way. Get out there and discover who you are. Let the wonton girl go out and fuck to her hearts content. Discover what you really like. You may enjoy 2 guys fucking you at once, you may like to meat a couple...who knows. Only time will tell.

Go for it girl...do not sell yourself short!

rm_bigmike43082 34M
3 posts
12/15/2005 6:07 am

Rose red, I am going through the same exact thing, word to word. But I say you have to live your life and be happy . Whatever that may be for you I hope you find it and get out of your rut.

not2late2 42M

12/29/2005 4:36 am

I got married at 21. I didn't have a chance to do all that I wanted to. So in a way I have split my life in two. I don't regret getting married at all but then again I was truly in love...and still am 10 yrs later. So that part differs from your situation.

Before even gettin' to the naughty part, I was going to say move on. If you don't love him, then he deserves to know it...and you owe it to yourself to admit it...out loud...

As for me, I enjoy some things on the side...doesn't make it right, but I believe it to be better than devoting time, money and effort somewhere else...it's just about the sex!

dreamweaver8061 48M

3/7/2006 12:22 am

by all means if you're not into it don't do it. you'll end up regretting it in the end and things will go from bad to worse. trust me. just be true to yourself and what makes you happy.

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