Court date  

rm_RocknRoxie 49F
296 posts
7/10/2006 11:47 pm

Last Read:
7/14/2006 7:10 pm

Court date

I am officially a legally separated woman! What exactly does that mean? Does it mean that I can go out on a date? Does that mean that I still have to list myself as married?

All of those school forms that need to be filled out will be filled out differently now. No mom and dad living in the same house, now we will have to have everything filled out. That is one thing that I really liked about being married. I filled out everything with both parents with everyone having the same last name. It is all going to change now. I have done this for way too long just for the kids.

My little one asked me if I was going to change my name or keep her daddy's last name. I had his name longer than I had my name. So I am keeping it. I feel like I have earned the right to keep it. It is not a bad name anyways. I kind of like it. It will be too much work to change it anyways.

My little one asked a lot of questions today after I got home from court. She wanted to know if I was going to be going out on dates. I said that I might want to do that every once in a while. She told me that I couldn't! She said that mom's don't get to date like teenagers. I asked her why not? She just said that I am too old to date, that only kids date. OK, would someone please tell me if I have missed something here?!?!? Did I really miss out on the whole dating thing? What do I have to look forward to?

I know that divorce is hard on kids. I don't want to make things any harder on them, but they need to know that mom has a life too. I think for a while I will just keep things the way that they are, I sure don't want to mess the kid up for the rest of her life. Going to a shrink forever blaming everything on me! (I know that she will do it anyways!)

Have a GREAT week, mine sure did start off well!!!



rm_cab824 70M
7 posts
7/11/2006 12:03 pm

RocknRoxie... this was a big day for you and it has had its ups and downs. I remember the mental confusion of how to answer my children about separation and divorce. The best advise I got and still use today is to let them know that you love them unconditionally and will always be there for them. I'm looking forward to writing to you and hope we can chat latter on..... Tony


seek_u_topia 50M

7/11/2006 12:39 pm

hang in there and take it a little bit at a time. I don't speak from experience, but I imagine you'll settle into what's comfortable for you and your kids.


QuitoWrestPease 72M

7/14/2006 10:13 am

There are two stages..you are either married or divorced...you are probably separated and divorcee will be final in thirty days. I speak from experience..kids are very resilient; so many of their friends today have been through the divorce problems..they help one another. Just do not bad mouth their Dad to them..he is still their Dad. As for dating, wait until divorce is final..you are right, the children need to know that Mom has a life, too..there is a great article in the papers yesterday about new research that shows that divorce is not what affects children as so much how parents' treat their children with love and attention.
That was good news to me and proves it to me. My boys are in their twenties and early thirties. They have great relationships. Another piece of research: children of divorces are better at handeling change, diversity and problems then contained children. Best wishes


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