And so it begins  

CarpeFlavaBided 55M
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5/2/2006 7:42 pm

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5/2/2006 8:05 pm

And so it begins

You would think, having been a computer nerd longer than many AdultFriendFinder members have even been alive, that I would have started a blog prior to this. And although many subjects fascinate me, I still find it amazing that a conversation on proper social conduct between a lady and a gentleman in the New England room would be the driving force behind starting this blog. Time to chalk this one up to the "truth is stranger than fiction" category...

While I do want to convey some points on proper etiquette along with either historical background or other thoughts on the points, I may, from time to time, enter posts on other subjects. How varied? Well, I'm sitting here, writing this while watching “Birth of a Nation” while mentally contrasting the view of this film with the thoughts of Alexis de Tocqueville from his tour of the US 30 years prior to the (Civil) War Between the States ‒ all while debating whether to watch “The Unit” or not.

Please note that, on occasion, I may use less than gentlemanly language to emphasize a point, or otherwise discuss 'adult' subject material. After all, this is a blog on AdultFriendFinder. But back to the subject at hand. It has been my impression, and the impression of others, that there are many men and women who don't conduct themselves as 'ladies and gentlemen.' In some cases, this is by choice. But for others, they may never even heard what anything approaching proper etiquette might be, other than perhaps extending a pinkie finger when sipping tea. Aargh!! And guess what? I never extend a finger when drinking my Earl Grey tea, as I don't think it's proper. While I know many men don't seem to follow gentlemanly conduct, I have found it disheartening that there are women who seem to be offended by being treated as a lady. Somehow I think these women think that being shown respect in this way means that they are therefore second-class humans. For me, nothing could be further from the truth. I am a strong believer in equal pay for equal work, and the inherent value of a woman's insight. But denying the intrinsic differences between men and women is as foolish as saying one is better than the other. For me, the French got this one right ‒ 'Vive la difference!'

So on to Lesson #1 ‒ opening a car door for a lady. There have been several times that I have apparently surprised women by opening my car door for them. You would think that with an Enterprise Car Rental commercial with no less than Dale Earnhardt Jr. where this point is emphasized (“Dale Jr, you'd best open that car door for me!” that more men would have caught on that this is a desirable habit to get into ‒ even if the lady in the commercial is slightly harsh, and therefore slightly unladylike. But alas...

True etiquette would say that the gentleman should open the car door for the lady both when entering and exiting the car. For special occasions, I would agree that this is the way it should be done. But in everyday life, while I would tend to always open the car door for a lady, even for a trip to the grocery store, I have found that most women prefer to exit a car on their own. This division of labor works for me.

A note on technique here. The gentleman should open the passenger car door open for the lady, stand behind (outside) the doorway, holding the door open until the lady is seated in the passenger seat. Once the lady is comfortably seated, and her dress and/or coat are fully within the vehicle, the gentleman should close the door firmly, but not overly strong. Then, the gentleman should enter the vehicle.

What if the lady is driving? It's still perfectly acceptable to open the car door for the lady in the same way, although mood and circumstance may indicate that this may not be required.

I well understand that every couple has a differing dynamic as to what is appreciated, required, or to be avoided. But for those who appreciate cordial conduct, I hope this brief discussion is enlightening, encouraging, or both.

Next likely subject ‒ are gentlemen wimps? (Absolutely not!)

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