|Blogs > rm_PurryKitty2 > The Adventures of Purry & Sail|
Questions Women Hate!
Questions Women Hate!
1. Are you going to be much longer?
She hears: Here I am sitting on my backside waiting in the car, while you are packing the baby's bag, sorting out the dog, wrapping the birthday present, dealing with YOUR mother's phonecall, setting the alarm and locking the house. WHAT is taking you so long?
Why this is irritating: This question merely reveals a complete lack of understanding about what it takes to get ready to go on the road. And this is what makes women angry.
2. Don't you think you should start running again?
She hears: You are getting fat and I think it is because you are not getting enough exercise.
Why this Q is irritating: It makes us feel that we are being prescribed to in how we should look, what we should wear in order to be found acceptable.
3. What's for supper?
She hears: Your place is in the kitchen. I don't care if your work a full day like I do, supper is your responsibility and I am hungry.
Why this Q is irritating: It makes us feel as if the bulk of the household responsibilities is still ours, even if we work fulltime or earn more than our husbands/boyfriends. Especially if we shopped for the food, cooked yesterday and put three loads of washing through the machine in the last 24 hours.
4. What was your previous boyfriend like?
She hears: I don't like the thought of your being with anyone else, even if I didn't know you then. I really want to hear that he was a right royal jerk, useless in bed, couldn't hold down a job and generally disliked by all your family and friends.
Why this Q is irritating: It makes us feel cornered - previous boyfriends are actually private territory and have nothing to do with present relationships. When women are hesitant to discuss previous relationships, men often react as if they are somehow being excluded and as if the woman has something to hide. We all have secrets and private things about which we don't talk to anyone.
5. Who was that you were talking to?
She hears: I don't trust you. I don't like you talking to other men. You're mine, mine, mine and don't you forget it.
Why this Q is irritating: It makes us feel as if we are being treated like possessions and not human beings. Everyone needs friends and women certainly do not want to sleep with every man they smile at.
3/13/2006 4:34 am
You could not have said that better!I'm with you all the way here,but I think most of the men are too dense to get it.Maybe one day they will come up with a treatment for it!|
3/13/2006 5:19 am
Thank you Purry! It's not what you say, it's how ya say it and how it seems to us. We don't just see in black and white, we read they grey in between too!!! -B|
3/13/2006 5:28 am
This is the biggest problem women have in relationships. They don't listen. They imagine. Looking for the "hidden" or "deeper" meaning in men's communications is like looking for life on other planets. You MAY eventually find SOMETHING, but 99% of the time there's just nothing there.|
3/13/2006 5:42 am
yep can understand that lol. Especially the exercise thing. probably a better way to put it is "we" should start running again. both get healthy, stay in shape, and have something we can both enjoy.|
I dont know, maybe or maybe not. Im one of the slow kids
3/13/2006 9:51 am
whew ... this sorted out a lot of things for me.|
3/13/2006 10:59 am
Folks look to you for ideas and contact and self-knowledge.
Confidence is empowering in all kinds of ways and worth preserving.
About empowerment - and I apologize for adding this issue to this blog, but realized you might not read my email, given how many you probably get daily.
A lot of people read your blog, and from my perspective, you are definitely about personal, social and sexual empowerment. We happen to live in a society that - at the moment - supports individual rights, freedoms, and empowerment. This could easily and quickly change. A change would stress our lives in all kinds of ways, and make our lives waaaaaay less fun.
Please consider writing about this in your blog, and encourage your many readers to get informed about local and state political candidates - and to vote this spring. Politics can be about "Fun". It does not have to be partisan - the simple act of become informed and voting locally is dramatically powerful, as it makes our governments more responsive to us. By comparison, voting Presidentially has almost no impact. In most communities, about 48% vote Presidentially but only 5 - 15 % vote locally. So ONE vote means a lot more. And locally and statewide is where the decisions get made that impact our lives.
I will end this here, as I'm not comfortable changing the subject of your blog or suggesting particular issues. I expect you'll find a way to get folks interested. Thanks for reading.
3/13/2006 12:06 pm
Not all of us are Pigs! I have had more than my fair share of early AM baby feedings, diaper changings, Cooking Breakfast, Supper....doing laundry...scrubbing toilets...rubbing feet...eating pussy....dealing with out-laws....er in-laws....ad nauseum...ad infinitum.
I have found it is not the individual things we do or dont do...it is the attitude behind them which motivates them and us. I do these things out of love and respect......and sometimes those sentiments are not returned...should I then cease my efforts?....Nay,,,,,,I will double and triple them....my love is everlasting...my devotion...without limit....but it sure friggin helps if the feeling is mutual!
3/13/2006 3:02 pm
I do understand and my Significant is aware of it...from the beginning we accepted the other's differences, including physical probs - her 3 c-secs and my tits would be a start...|
mentally and spiritually we are cool
like said by others.... Respect...we all need it
That is why Aretha's first monster hit was...Respect...it hit nerves
3/13/2006 3:28 pm
For all guys out there here are suggetsed replacements to teh "bad" questions:|
1) What can I do to help?
2) Honey, I want to get back in shape, can you help me?
3) What would you like for dinner?
4) First, I want to make the comment that a lot of guys ask this question so they can find out what you don't like in a relationship.
- What type of things do you like in a man? It's a little too forward but still a better replacement question.
5) Tell her what you did today and who you talked to, she will tell you what she wants you to know.
3/13/2006 4:20 pm
"COMMUNICATION'.. it doesnt matter what the relationship..true,honest communication can be very difficult.. because there are many things we don't want to bring to the attention of our "audience".. we all want to look good, smart, in control..right?|
Even more difficult than expressing our feelings and thoughts is being able to REALLY LISTEN to what the other is saying or trying to say..
Oh well... we all know this... right?
3/13/2006 5:57 pm
Ref your blog about supper you'd be suprised when I was house basing (english term for eletrical work in the home)the amount of men that would be telling me where to put eletrical sockets I soon learned to ignore this and asked the woman off the house to advise me of eletrical placement well in probably 95% of houses I worked on the man tried to plan everything and the woman spent the most time in the kitchen |
so purry dont let sail take over when design eletrical work tell him from me its not just about where the feeds for the plasma tv goes
3/13/2006 6:19 pm
I have read that a man is to love his wife as Christ loved....perhaps that is why God gives such encouragement to stay married for that Love is a life's work|
3/18/2006 5:04 pm
THINGS MEN HATE TO HEAR!|
Is it in yet?
What we hear: Is it in yet?
Why this is irritating: Of course it's in!
Is that your second or third beer?
What we hear: Is that your second or third beer?
Why this is irritating: You can't count, it's my fifth beer.
Are you going fishing with your buddies, AGAIN?
What we hear: Nothing at all... Just can't wait to get going.
Why this is irritating: It's not.
What's this charge doing on our VISA from "Tittie Pubs Inc."?
What we hear: I was a track star in college and I'm giving you a three second head start so you'd better be able to fly like the wind!
Why this is irritating: That was a stupid and insensitive thing to do, we should have stopped at the ATM machine and gotten cash.
We need to talk...
What we hear: Something we are completely unaware of has been bothering you for months and now it's built up to a point it's going to land in our laps, prepared or not. You've had plenty of time to let it fester and think about it and it's going to blindside us.
Why this is irritating: She's probably right but it is going to make us defensive and we will end up sleeping on the couch tonight.
Honey, does this dress make me look fat?
What we hear: Honey, does this dress make me look fat?
Why this is irritating: We are fucked and we know it.
I am sorry...
What we hear: Never heard it before... I dunno? Pretty unfamiliar ground.
Why this is irritating: Never heard it before.
Guess what's for dinner..?
What we hear: Tofu
Why this is irritating: We hate Tofu and all the rest of the fad diets you've tried to get us to participate in.
Did you leave the toilet seat up, again?
What we hear: Put the toilet seat down.
Why this is irritating: After you go to the bathroom, why don't you put the toilet seat up for us! How about a little quid-pro-quo! It's not like a sane person is going to fall into the toilet bowl. Is it?
If you go fishing one more time I'm going to leave you.
What we hear: Don't go fishing.
Why this is irritating: We are really going miss you.
Were you looking at that cute girl across the room with all her cleavage hanging out?
What we hear: Don't look at anyone else if want to keep your gonads.
Why this is irritating: We can't help ourselves and we are quite fond of our gonads
Honey, guess what I got from Nordstroms...
What we hear: The hum of the cash register draining the bank account.
Why this is irritating: The clothes and shoes you already have, have taken over my half of the closet.
So, this is your work shop..?
What we hear: The invasion of high heels entering our most holy sanctuary.
Why this is irritating: You might find where we hide all the power tools and sporting goods we never told you we bought.
Honey, I want to do a little landscaping this summer.
What we hear: Honey, I want you to do a lot of landscaping this summer.
Why this is irritating: It starts out as a small project we can do together but ends up being a project that takes all summer and I end up doing all the work. And, it cuts into my fishing time.
Honey, guess who's having a sale this weekend..?
What we hear: Let's go shopping!
Why this is irritating: We don't need it and I don't feel like spending my weekend being drug through store after store. WHAT? You mean Cabella's is having a sale! We'd better get going before all the good stuff is gone!
Honey, do you mind if..?
What we hear: A set up
Why this is irritating: You wouldn't have begun the question with "Do you mind" if it was something we were going to be readily agreeable to. And, you've already committed us to it anyway.
And, last but not least... Honey, my period is late!
What we hear: Daddy my period is late.
Why this is irritating. We weren't thinking we'd have to grow up so soon!
Just a little comic relief for all... No offense intended in anyway to anyone.