An Older Lady Gets..........  

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
12865 posts
4/28/2006 12:42 pm
An Older Lady Gets..........

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it
to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Purry {=}


rm_moonboy23 36M
893 posts
4/28/2006 1:09 pm

Nice one

qship52 63M

4/28/2006 1:10 pm

Good one!

(Forwarding via email to various friends...)

ArtisticTwist75 41F
2505 posts
4/28/2006 1:30 pm

Now she is one smart cookie.


sexymamma662003 31F

4/28/2006 1:55 pm

that is very funny. hope you dont mind i sent it to some friends. damn that is a great way of getting out of a ticket


spacecadet561 59M

4/28/2006 2:21 pm

It's a long way to tip a raree.


SlowPlayin 50M

4/28/2006 4:09 pm

Now THAT'S funny!


marnison 79F

4/28/2006 4:19 pm

*S* very good. wish i had read that a month ago.....
i just told him my car wouldn't go that fast.

Djeeper1987 47M

4/28/2006 4:55 pm

Carpe Diem

charlieff 76M
264 posts
4/28/2006 5:34 pm

Cute Purry. Here's one back to you.

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"

"The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife"
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks," she said.
"I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them!!!!!!


seek_u_topia 50M

4/28/2006 7:56 pm

Excellent!!!! thanks Purry!

reverend21 49M
1913 posts
4/28/2006 8:30 pm

slick, very slick

Cowboy_Deluxe 38M

4/28/2006 8:57 pm

I know I'm going to be really popular, I thought it was lame...

FunandFrisky79 41M/36F

4/28/2006 9:43 pm

That's too funny!!! I'm going to have to try that one sometime! lol


Valdrane78 38M

4/28/2006 11:25 pm


BANG! POW! BOOM! a study in useless knowledge and sick humor!
I want a damn soundtrack to my blog!

MoutnainGirl 37F

4/29/2006 1:07 am

That one is pretty funny.

Moutnain Girl

Visit my blog: MoutnainGirl

MaggiesWishes 59F

4/29/2006 11:32 am


perty good

Charlie17012 55M
52 posts
5/2/2006 4:41 pm

we got a two for one here folks...

Good ones to both Purry and Charlieff

Now to find a use for them

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