Depression post :(  

rm_OtakuRebel 32M
10 posts
4/9/2006 5:20 pm

Last Read:
12/23/2006 10:49 pm

Depression post :(


After much thought of the matter, I've decided, I don't give a rats ass anymore.

Not w/ relationships anyway. I've been killing myslef for the longest time trying to find SOMEHTING of the sort in my life. Today I did multiple searches over the country (not just my area) and decided "screw this, no one want's me. There's NO woman out there that could possibly satisfy me anyway" Sure I have a sweet shy face, but when it comes to sex I'm very demanding and picky, but have nothing to grasp.

I live in the middle of no where, so theres no one around. I've been a member of countless hookup sites but never get any mail, no matter how much I mail people). I remember when I was back in high school I was super depressed and practicly suicidal due to the fact of religious, and confidance issues and not having someone to be with.

I masturbate daily and its messin w/ my brain chemistry and shit. Lots of people say "it's when you stop looking for love that you find it" I heard that 4 years ago but aparently haven't listend to it. My head's so mixed up I dont know what to follow or beleive in. All I really have is myself and from another person's perspective NO ONE would be comfortable w/ THAT. I'm 21 and living w/ my parents for cryin out loud

No one wants to be w/ a redhead GUY anyway if theres tons of super muscular boneheads out there. I'm gonna attach myself to the "strong silent type" name and exponenciate the shit out of it. Screw the world, I dont need it, it sux anyway. Call me in 500 years when its somewhat SANE.

dreamkitty63 47F

4/9/2006 6:23 pm

hang in there, you're young and you look pretty cute to me.Maybe if you look outside of the bono pun intended) rather than having such specific qualities(i.e height and weight) you just might have better luck....after all big girls need lovin too and i've never had any complaints! I'm just saying


onlyfive 68M

4/9/2006 7:07 pm

I remember feeling sorry for myself at times too. Big mistake. Step one is to get your ass away from the computer (gaming is NOT life) and hang out in the real world.

You're far better looking than I ever was. I ended up marrying a real beauty and had 25 good years. The last 5 weren't good for either of us. The end of the world, right?

Wrong. WEe split. I've had more sexual partners in the last 4 months than in my entire (long) life. Better sex too. Much better. Look man, you never know what the future holds. And jerking off every day is a GOOD thing.

So dump the games and GO OUT. Make friends. Have sex with them. If you ever feel like offing yourself (really stupid; been there) why not take a trip to Sunny Florida. Hell, I bet I can get you off real good.


mangomamiCT 41F

4/9/2006 8:22 pm

1. women are not attracted to muscular boneheads , they are attracted to confidence , which my friend you are severely lacking !

2. How to fix that , you only become confident when you have experiences to back it up , so get out there and do something different , try a sport you havent thought of before , try a new exotic food , go to a poetry slam , buy a bike . It will change your outlook and make you more interesting


douxetlent 65M

4/9/2006 8:28 pm

If you don't like you, ain't nobody gonna like you. OnlyFive's right on - gaming ain't life. Go out and do life first person. If you're in the midde of noplace, get a decent car that don't eat gas and get yourself into the middle of someplace. It doesn't have to be South Beach, I got laid once in Oil City, for chrissake. SoyKOFLA's got a point, too. Talking to people will make you a much more interesting person that talking to a computer. Finally, lightn up. Demanding and picky = lonely. Here's my bet: You're offsetting something your can't control with something that you can. Find out what's out of control and fix it. Everything else will fall in line.


rm_OtakuRebel 32M

4/16/2006 1:17 am

It's nice to see people actually NOTICING my blog so far. My lifestyle's kinda busy for getting out, or might just be an excuse. I work till 5 and gotta get up @ 6. The weekends however I'm usually stuck doing something at one of my parents house. As soon as I can afford my own place I'm SO going for it >.<


amoldenough 69F
16436 posts
5/28/2006 9:48 am

First, there is nothing wrong with still living with parents at your age. My son is 25 and still living here, and THAT is too old.
Second, In your blogs at least, you come off as very negative.
Third, maybe you should broaden your search criteria.
4th, There is nothing wrong with being a male red head.
5th. I feel you are making excuses not to go out. You don't have to stay out all night, you know.
6th, and last, I do wish you luck, and stop trying so hard. Enjoy blogland. There are lots of great people here.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."


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