Still Feeling Blue  

rm_Numjaiblue 52F
12 posts
4/20/2005 9:20 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Still Feeling Blue

It's been nine days since my meeting with Blue and 8 days since he contacted me. He IMed me last night. Well, maybe he made a mistake and was talking to some other chick and hit my screen name in error. I don't know what to think of it. I haven't gotten over him and it hurts. Don't get me wrong, some people here on this site don't stop trying and have given me high hopes but it's nothing I felt with Blue. I emailed him a song I dedicated to him. It's in spanish. I promised not to make direct contact with him unless he initiated first. God, why am I such a fool? I can't seem to get over people who hurt me. I can only pray that I will. I have apologized over and over. As I apologize to the guys who keep contacting me for a date. It's just I need time. It really hurts to know you really aren't important enough to get an explanation. I am so frustrated. My daughter was hospitalized for depression last week. I have no friends and felt an enormous bond with Blue. I thought so...Life is funny cause I never told my husband that I was sexually abused until we were married for five years and he felt like I betrayed him yet, I have been nothing but honest with Blue and I am paying for it. It's not as simple as things seem. My work has me stressed out and my daughters are going through alot. All I ask for in return is that God find me someone to love. One day....I hope...


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