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Humans should be able to interact freely and have their actions understood easily by each other!
Especially when they care about each other!
I hurt someone very dear to me by trying to let her know how important she was to me.
She was in the process of reconciling her previous relationship and although I supported her efforts fully (Her happiness and well being is and has been more important to me than my own) I wanted to stay involved in her life as a friend.
He had more than a little trouble with that concept and they nearly ended things for good.
After much turmoil he has decided to give their relationship another try and because my presence created more problems between them I must step back this time...
My feelings for her are overwhelming but my strongest desire is for her to be happy so as hard as it is I will find a way to stay out of her life.
I will be there for her if she needs me but I will not contact her and I do not anticipate her contacting me very often if at all...
I never wanted to hurt her or create any extra stress in her life. I thought I could be her friend. Stand by her and support her in every way as a platonic friend but she misunderstood my actions as trying to somehow come between them.
By trying to remain her friend I nearly ruined what she desires most and have caused her to feel that I was doing this by design.
Her opinion of me has suffered and I doubt if she could ever accept me in her life again in any capacity.
I understand that many people play games and do things for less than honorable reasons but I would hope that when people honestly care about each other they could get past the superficial and be open and honest with each other...
My attempt at doing this has not gone well and I am now forced to stay away from the woman I care about most.
6/26/2006 11:07 pm
Sorry about your encounter, Zen. Well... human emotions are a funny thing... you just can't control them at times. Treat it as lesson learnt.|