rm_Now_N_Zen 54M
57 posts
6/26/2006 6:07 pm

Last Read:
7/9/2006 7:26 am


My emotions are in disarray.
I am unable to organize or control them.
My heart feels hollow and broken.

It seems unfair that we can fall in love with someone who is unavailable...

The love of my life has returned to her former relationship.
I support her decision, she needed to do it for herself and I know she could have never been happy with me.

In the brief time we had together;
She made me a better person,
Showed me the joys of uninhibited living,
Supported me through hard times,
Shared great times and fantastic adventures.

I fell in love with her without ever seeing her in person through honest emails and long heartfelt telephone conversations.

The first time we met, the connection was instant and mutual, the embrace all encompassing.
We connected in ways I do not understand and will not disgrace by attempting to describe.

I believe our feelings were mutual for a time.
But she felt part of her life had not been given her full attention and that it suffered from that.
She has returned to correct that and repair what she had.

I am left feeling lost and wounded.
Like a huge part of me has been torn out and will never be replaced.

My hope is that she has found happiness and will not regret this decision but I also hope she has a spot for me in her heart and that the time we shared is as precious to her as it is to me.

She completed me in every way imaginable.
I now know what total and unrestricted love feels like.
I wish things had turned out differently and that we might have met at a point in our lives where we could both have been lost in the feelings.

I will love her forever!
I will support her from afar and do everything I can to insure her well being.

The pain I feel now is immeasurable but I would not trade a moment of the time we had together for anything or anyone.

In time the pain will become manageable but the memories will light my live until my final breath

ella1966 50F
1528 posts
6/26/2006 7:20 pm

((((hugs)))) understands how you feel. Sometimes you never know and sometimes you love, even when what you receive is the opposite - indifference. Been there myself. I hope you pain gets easier to bear in time.

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