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Slaves, subs and stuff
Slaves, subs and stuff
Dear me what a week! Exams on Biology and Ethics, non-stop juggling of schedules while trying to cram in 60 hours of work on the infernal Haunted House. But it all is coming together nicely. Keeping the A average, productively hammering, sawing and painting and at the same time keeping up a series of correspondences with those interested in my take on the BD/SM lifestyle.
One question I have recieved concerns the manner in which you go from meeting somebody to spanking them. And how do you actually meet cool people anyhow? And what is the difference (again this question) between a sub and a slave?
In regards to meeting people it isn't easy. Online has it's problems as I outlined in a previous post and public events can be extremely crowded and impersonal. Online at least you have the opportunity to put yourself outthere warts and all and wait to find those who agree with your point of view. From there you can begin in depth discussions through e-mail and then attempt to arrange a face to face meeting.
Like most I recommend keeping the first meeting casual. An afternoon coffee date or a picnic in a park are good options that allow you to size each other up. Give some allowance to the natural nervousness that will occur between each other. Within a short period of time you both will know if you want to take it a step further.
Here is where BD/SM differs in practice from casual sex. In the underworld there are rituals, protocols and rules that form the skeleton of an overlying erotic ethic. As a friend and an equal you will find me to be witty, thoughtful and charming. As a Dom you will find me to be taciturn, quiet and softly cruel. To make that switch in behavior requires a small ritual, a ceremony. It revolves around the collar.
I have a thick leather dog collar that I use for subs. Collars can be simple or elaborate, I spent almost $200 on a stainless steel collar of exquisite design at Folsom Street this year, a collar like thgat is a gift to a particularly cherished slave. In a vanilla encounter you may try to "cop a feel", in my relationships it is always a simple question, "Will you wear my collar?". As soon as my playmate agrees we enter into a new world together where my will is absolute and my partner is required to perform any task put before her. Punishment and pleasure are mine to dispense as I see fit and the only "outs" are the time we have to spend in each others company and the safeword that she has been given.
A good session usually only takes an hour or two though various forms of play can take place in public as well. In general though a great BD/SM "date" can be experienced in only four or five hours. But it is four or five hours that you will dwell on for months and, like many things, those "playdates" or "sessions" can become intoxicatingly addictive.
So there you go, meet people online and follow the usual precautions. You can also print out some business cards with an e-mail address and logo to pass out to people you may meet in specialty shops and at events. Beyond that you can sit around and conspicuosly read "The Story of O" or carry around some Michael Manning artwork in your car. In the end you meet Doms and subs the same way you meet anybody else in this world, by taking a chance.
Finally a sub, in my understanding and opinion, is simply a friend who you play with. A slave is somebody whose devotion to you is beyond description. A slave is a creature of rare worth and whose value cannot be measured by any known metric.
Till next time