Basic Q&A about BD/SM  

rm_NeonShadows 48M
17 posts
9/27/2005 10:35 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Basic Q&A about BD/SM

What is training?

For some "training" is only really a euphemism for play. For those on a deeper path, beyond the sensual, training refers to an ongoing process of discovering boundaries, limits and challenging yourself to transcend those limits. Briefly put training begins where the behavior is at and proceeds using pretty straightforward positive reinforcement and corporal punishment to achieve a shift, over time, in consciousness.
In other, more “advanced” contexts it can refer to learning a particular skill, such as being a Pony-Girl, Puppy etc. etc.

Can one be trained to be submissive?

There is no need to train a person into submissiveness. In that we are both individuals and social animals we are all hardwired for dominant/submissive behavior and in different contexts we will put on a different mask. All we really need is the permission to behave as such. It is really more about understanding that we all have these two sides (kind of a base metaphor for being human) and that it is in our individual best interest to develop both.

Can I gain anything from experiencing the BDSM world?

As a path of self-discovery yes, yes indeed. You can discover untold depths to your nature. You can learn to accomplish feats of self-control that are utterly amazing and on par with Indian fakirs. Beyond that you can experience more fully the range of human emotional and physical responses and then there is the wide-spread and supportive community that you would eventually become a part of.

Can I gain a better insight into me by doing so?

Absolutely. I am taking a class this semester on the philosophy of ethics. Aristotle was first up in our reading and discussion and it struck me that he, the Stoics in general and empiricists even today, labor under at least two illusions: The first is that our mind, reason, is somehow independent of and superior to our senses and emotions. The second is that we are not, in essence, animals. Most of our civilizations and modern organized religions have taken these assumptions and used them as the core of our social educations. In reality however, in actual subjective experience, we can discover a more intriguing truth.

So, do you have any words of wisdom to offer?

Only to take care with whoever you choose to pursue your interests with. Just like any relationship, and more so than most, the Dom/sub relationship is based on mutual understanding and trust. BD/SM is popular with a wide variety of people, but most have seemed to come to it somewhat recently and primarily from a sexual perspective. “Fools rush in.....” and all. It may behoove you to socialize a bit, attend some play parties in SF with a friend, explore and meet a variety of people. I don’t know how mobile you are but I do know you will find precious little in most areas to pique your interest (even in Sonoma we have to work to get the kinks out!).

Great questions, I am always impressed by honesty and curiosity. We went to the Folsom Street Fair yesterday, quite the scene let me tell you. It’s hard to get back into the “real” world after a day like that. But I have work to do, till next time-


Become a member to create a blog