rm_MustangD6644 51M
1052 posts
4/23/2006 7:46 pm

Last Read:
5/1/2006 5:18 pm


Today my divorce becomes "official" after the court hearing last month.

The reason I haven't finished the "Here comes the Judge" series of posts on this subject is because I have been feeling um, uncertain in relation to just how I should be feeling.

So, just how am I supposed to be feeling?

Should I be wanting to start partying or having a good cry over the wasted decade, the shameful way I was treated, and the lack of contact with my son and godson.

Sorry, I am just not feeling very chipper, given something I busted my guts over and nearly cost me my life, took the judge only 15 minutes to close the book on.


GossipJunkie 40F

4/23/2006 7:59 pm

Although I can't speak from first hand experience...divorce is like death, and in death, there is a mourning period. Now, how you choose to mourn is up to you. Some people would see it as a reason to be joyous (the ol' ball and chain is gone) but something that was vitally important and a large part of your life has come to an end. Only YOU will know when it's time to party; until then, just live one day at a time. Good luck.

"Dance like nobody's watching"

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
4/23/2006 9:31 pm

I think it depends on if you were the "Breaker", the "Breakee" or if it was truly mutual.

As the "breaker", there are time, even though it's been three years, I still feel guilty and wonder if I should have tried harder to make things work, and that I hope that my ex-husband is happy (even though I've never had any desire to get back together with him). I think I'll probably feel that way until he gets remarried. I think then i'll feel like I'm "off the hook" for "ruining his life" as his mother so nicely put it.

I think either way you'll have mixed feelings about it. Mine weren't necessarily true "happiness", but more like relief and a mixture of guilt and mourning for what never was.


summerbreeze77 57F

4/23/2006 9:53 pm

I know exactly how you feel I have been divorced for 2 years now.
was married for 23 years. It is like a death. I am still trying to get on with my life.I too am searching he got on with his was married again 4 months later so that says alot . I Was always the giver. I lost myself over the years. But I am picking myself up slowly and moving on it is hard but Life does go on. One day I will find the right one

willgivesex4U 63F
21 posts
4/23/2006 9:57 pm

hi babe, since you are writing from the AdultFriendFinder site, I can only surmise that either you have been fucking someone other than your wife already, or that you are ready and waiting to....either way....the pain of divorce will subside.....just go out and get some pussy....some tits....and some ass.....at least sexually you will feel satisfied.....

rm_MustangD6644 51M
1031 posts
4/23/2006 10:13 pm

Thanks Gossip and welcome to my blog.


imLadyBambi 58M/50F

4/23/2006 10:43 pm

Sorry,hope you get to feeling better soon.

Lady Bambi

rm_MustangD6644 51M
1031 posts
4/24/2006 4:25 am

Ladies Thank you one and all for your comments and welcome to my blog.

One point though, willgivesex4U, I never played around while I was married, and just because Im on AdultFriendFinder doesnt mean Im seeing any action. The numbers imbalance and being a standard member sees to that.


TTigerAtty 62M

4/24/2006 5:06 am

One day at a time! Focus on your son and godson for now. A time for renewal. A time to examine you life, your priorities, your objectives and your dreams for the future! Stay out of the bars. Nothing good will come of that! Good luck!

JoLeeS 40F

4/24/2006 10:15 pm

Hey there... Well.. i am going thru a divorce now... It's not final... I can tell you right now... I feel like I ahve wasted 10 years of my life with someone I never loved, and whom never loved me.... It is a weird feeling indeed... Thanks for your post on my blog by the way. I do that quite frequently... I think of someone I haven't seen in years and a few days or weeks later i get a letter, phone call or run into them somewhere.... It is so weird... Anyway... Keep your chin up sweetie... Ya gotta stick out the feelings... Regret is the only thing I feel right now.. I was devastated when I walked in on him with my now ex best friend and that was 2 and a half years ago... it takes time to get over it.... I still hurt.... ::sigh:: You have a good night.

rm_MustangD6644 51M
1031 posts
4/25/2006 1:47 am

Thanks TT

Thanks JoLeeS and welcome to my blog. Some best friend she turned out to be. Maybe you should have shocked him by yelling; "What youre sleeping with Him as well as Me, and half the frigging town" to sow the seeds of doubt in their relationship.

Ah there's nothing like practicing "Scorched Earth" and plowing your enemies fields with salt as per the Bible.


JoLeeS 40F

4/25/2006 7:39 am

Yeah... She was my best friend for 19 years before then.... It is weird... I think back and i should have picked up on it sooner... Scorched Earth... That is funny that you say that..... Making the lands infertile... She just found out she will never be able to have children... Ironic? Yes... God does have a sense of humor.... At least i think so....

rm_MustangD6644 51M
1031 posts
4/25/2006 3:29 pm

JoLee that really sucks about your friend. Its hard to know what to say apart from you have my sympathy. It is strange that I only half joked about Scorched Earth and now you discover she cant have kids, well that certainly raises an eyebrow in a quizical manner. MMMMM.
In a way your comment makes me glad that I have decided not to any married women. I just dont need any extra bad karma that may go along with cutting someone else's lunch so to speak. Afterall there are enough single women around, its just a question of finding some who I feel comfortable sleeping with.

For me I would rather no sex over bad sex, bad sex messes with your head and confidence to much.


KaliforYadreamin 44M
33 posts
4/28/2006 10:25 pm

Whoa Mustang . Mate How is that response from willgivsex4U. If it came from a guy U would say well whadda U expect. But from a girl U gotta luv It. Kinda has a compelling truth about it though.

Clearly U are still hurting heaps & JoLees too.I despair on days like this also, but I find...................

Lifes a bit like being in a speed boat.

Imagine U R there, watching the wake roll along, the roar of the motor the wind in your hair.

U shift from foot to foot as U ride out the Bumps.

That wake is massive in close at the back of the boat, where U are.

Just like when your craft passes close to another speeding Boat, Your passage becomes rough & uncomfortable as U R tossed & buffetted

further out the wake rolls around other boats & clashes with the wake of other craft too.

But as U speed along the wake rolls across the water, & in the far distace where the wake has subsided, the water appears untouched by the passage of your powering boat.

It is only a short while since U were standing there as the boat powered across that distant expanse of water & now its completely flat.

Its as if U weren't there at all now the wake has gone. Often we don't even realise this until our boat has slowed to a crawl, too caught up in hanging on thru the rough ride.

The rough ride is over,

Now Turn around take a good look out the front that boat. U hav the whole horizon before You.

PLot a course, any course as long as its Your Course.

We will even pick up some great friends along the way, I think U know who they are already.

Looking out the front of that boat Helps Us to recognise that its a great day & all our best times are right there before us.

We just hav to choose our destination, set the direction and crank up that massive Mustang Motor.

There is too much Gas still in the tank to waste another good Day.

Now hit the throttle, no need to look back.Its all about what you want & where U want to go.

Good Boating


rm_MustangD6644 51M
1031 posts
4/29/2006 3:43 am

Thanks Kali; What an amazing post. I'm thinking I will have to give it its own post.

Not really big on speedboats, but I did muck around sailing and rowing, as well as driving the coaches boats, so the post was very apt and descriptive.


KaliforYadreamin 44M
33 posts
4/30/2006 8:17 pm

Just aiming to lend a buddy some support. I hope your feeling better now that official date is behind you. The speed boat was a clumsy metaphor for the passage of life & the people & stuff we bump into along the way.I'II choose a yacht next time, promise.


rm_MustangD6644 51M
1031 posts
5/1/2006 5:18 pm

Kail dont get me wrong I wasnt complaining about the metaphor. I thought the whole post was amazing.


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