There's some good-sounding profiles out there  

rm_MovieBuff333 43M
47 posts
6/7/2005 8:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

There's some good-sounding profiles out there

I enjoy clicking on people's profiles, especially if they've said something that stands out to me. I admit that the other reasons I click are if they show up in my Cupid or if they have a picture. Any picture at all, I'm not a vain guy, it doesn't have to be stellar and sexy. All you have to do is take a picture of your hand resting against the door or on a table, couch, pillow...anything. It never has to be a personal picture to attract attention from people on here who are looking.

But for me what really gets my creative mind working are the written profiles. I start to think what sort of potential might be there, how much fun it might be to talk to them, how flattering it would feel if they were talking to me and having a good time. At some point there's some (cough cough) other fantasizing, but what you write in your profile makes a huge difference.

My own profile never seems to be the right one though to attract. The messages I write someone might be able to spark something, but my passive profile just sitting there to be read by anybody just never has that certain something that provokes a response. Nothing that inspires a "Not lookin' to get wit U, but nice words." or a little bit of "I'm happily with someone right now, but I wanted to let you know I think you sound nice." Hey, I've stopped in and sent complimentary messages to some people to let them know I'm not pursuing them but wanted to drop in and let them know they look great and wish them the best of luck on here.

It's not all about trying to get sex or "land someone". You need to play nice and be considerate. Just because people are online doesn't mean they're not real, doesn't mean they don't have feelings, and doesn't mean you should treat them in a way you wouldn't if they were in the same room with you. A good rule is treating people online with the same courtesy as someone in the same room with you, in front of your friends. So if you'd feel bad and they'd tell you you're being cold then don't play it that way. Simple, right?

I've been online twenty years now and seen a lot of people come and go, Net trends, the rise & fall of cybersex amongst the general public, the underground networks breaking all the rules, the sincere newcomers who get picked off by wolves soon after coming online, everything. That's why I only appear online once or twice a year publicly to attract some new friends and hopefully find a single special someone (not a harem, I'm not that sort of guy) and then I just chat with the people I have a good time with and can connect with. The reason I do that is because the Net in general has become a really toxic environment. Any guy with more hormones than sense comes online to go trolling and muddies the water for the rest of us who live & breathe our internal lives online. I come online to write since I can truly express myself and be heard, my online life is the true & deep part of me that the people I work with don't know exists. So when I'm writing to someone and they're very hesitant because the last guy who they met online was a real jerk who messed them's a real shame when that happens. (Sigh)

To anyone reading this...I'm sorry that someone online used you, I'm sorry that they yanked your chain and manipulated you. I am not that person, I'm someone new, someone who speaks what is really inside instead of "fronting". Sure it makes me an easy mark, and I've been used & duped by insincere people before...hell I've even vouched for guys before who turned out to be toxic slime because they had me fooled, too. But sometime somewhere you need to give someone a chance...there's a lot of great guys out there hoping to be discovered and given a chance. Hey, I see some genuine guy's profiles out there, too. Teddybears & sweethearts amongst the thorns & wolves...but not every woman is looking for that I know.

So what I'm trying to say is that you need to take a second look when you go through people's profiles to get a better grasp. Just because they don't immediately turn you on or make you feel a connection doesn't mean their messages won't trigger something that their profile couldn't. A profile is universal, public...messages are more personal and specific. So you'd got to tap people on the shoulder to let them know "your profile is good, happy searching" because everyone could use encouragement. Not just me. (Blush)

I hope I've opened some eyes today and given some people hope. I know I feel better and refreshed again just by having written this post. (Smile)

Have a better day,

AmberSolaire 42M

6/7/2005 10:07 am

Its interesting you say all that and then still use the word "play" in the fourth paragraph.I do think that after a while of being on the site a sense of apathy sets in amongst the women here, which makes it harder for the men to get across their essence.I ,like you will keep striving.I am sure she is out there.Good luck.

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
6/7/2005 10:13 am

It's not just about the profiles. It's about how they approach you (or respond to your approach) and how the 'clickz' go...

you're definitely one of the good ones, but it's hard to be looking around in murky waterz ...

rm_MovieBuff333 43M
28 posts
6/7/2005 6:48 pm

Yes, the words "don't play it that way" are literally meant. There's a lot of people following "the rules" and they play roles on dates and meeting people and talking to people. It's the difference between a person's outward personality and their true, inner self.

On the outside, I am a joker...humour and appearing to laugh something off is my defense mechanism. I enjoy joking though, but it's not my core personality. When I'm online, you and everyone else reading what I write gets to see the core part of me. For me, when I get insulted by someone online it hits deeper than someone standing in front of me insulting me. Most people online are the reverse...they play these roles online and pretend to be someone they're not, so when you point out how phony they are online they just shrug it off and say "whatever...whatever...I'm going to another site" and they take their B.S. with them to pollute another set of people.

With me, I don't pretend to be someone different in public than I do online, I just simply have trouble revealing my full self in public. My friends would recognize me from my writing, but I'm a Cancer male, and extremely shy with people I don't know...when I'm writing however that all goes away because I can't see their second-by-second reaction to me, I don't have to worry about how I sound and if I wander. A reader will skip the boring parts but standing with someone talking there's no fast-forward to skip things. So in public I am very withdrawn. Cancers need to feel acceptance before coming out of their shells...this isn't a lack of genuineness, it's a genuine fear of rejection.

Anyways, you seem like a nice guy, AmberSolaire, and you have a likeable face, so I hope you find the genuine woman you're seeking, too. And yes, getting across your core essence is very hard on a place like this since this is the convenience store version of a place to meet people (no offence to the site intended, I just mean this is how most of the members seem to be using this site). "Yeah, I'll take a C-cup who loves loves to suck, and can you give me that fast because I've got my car running outside in the red zone?" Oh my...

And don't get me started on the number of women who claim to love giving oral in their ads. (Grin) Fortunately, I look at deeper things so I don't set myself up for that sort of's great when it's true but...oops I suppose I did get started. I'd better go now. (Grin)

Make a connection, you'll find her out there...unless she finds you first. (Smile)


rm_MovieBuff333 43M
28 posts
6/7/2005 7:15 pm


You're right. The profile is the public statement...something that is displayed for universal appeal or to say something. A profile triggers a thought of possibility, but the real magic of a connection takes place in that private message box. That's where you find out what the person is REALLY like, things that start with "I've never told anyone this about myself, but..." or even "This is my private picture of what I really look like".

Sidenote: A person's pictures whether public Profile snaps or privately-sent ones should ALL be treated with the same sort of confidential respect. Don't go showing them around to your friends unless the person has mentioned that would be okay. A person who publicly posts their nude pictures does so by choice and showing even those person's pictures around might NOT be that person's choice. Facial & recognizable pictures especially! OK, going to get off my soapbox now. (Blush)

And you're also right about the murky waters. I'm here because I'm free to talk about sex without offending people, and because I do desire being in a relationship with a woman who doesn't think sex is one of those "unpleasant necessities" that people engage in once a week or two. I mean I know daily is too much to ask for (although I have a great story about how I kept a few hours a day pace up for three months straight...and it's NOT a tall tale, it was a great relationship until it became LDR and her sexdrive overcame her loyalty...over...and over...and... I can joke about it now hehe).

Right...there was supposed to be a point here somewhere. (Grin)

As long as I have hope then I'm not totally in the wrong place. I went through a solid couple of years where I was on a mission entitled "naughty girls need love, too" that I wouldn't consider a total waste even though I got hurt quite a bit. It's about believing there are genuine people even on a place where lust is the coin of trade, where posturing is done to get laid, where lies & manipulation made, all done before the moonlight can fade. Sorry...suddenly felt poetic while writing there. (Blush)

I'm so glad you enjoy writing on here, though, I've enjoyed your own private section. You're a site-celebrity, dazzling to read. I just generally don't post in other people's areas since I tend to write a lot and many hosts I've found can take offence if you write more than their original post. I've been booted from places... hehe

Keep up the great writing,

rm_MovieBuff333 43M
28 posts
6/7/2005 7:26 pm


Oh my were Miss "I will suck you off tonight" ?! WOW! I've heard the stories...

I'm only kidding...ONLY joking...I know you're way above profiles like that. hehehe I'm sorry.

But with you...first off you've got the name going for's a statement without saying a word. And if you had any pics at all up then yes guys are visual.

But I must say I'm really REALLY curious what those six words were. Hmmm...we should have a contest guessing them...ummmm except you'd find people writing ones that would be insulting like mine above (Sorry again...I really don't think you're that sort of woman...I truly don't).

I'm sur there's reverse-psychology profiles out there like "Don't message me, you'll be disappointed." But I think some profiles do send that message for one reason or another. you've got me guessing what those six words were...



6/11/2005 3:48 am

Very well writen post neighbour, that is one of the good reasons for the blogs , give you a better outlook. But then how we are on this site and how we are in real life , sometimes are not the same as you said the writen work comes easier than the spoken.

P,S welcome to blogging, glad to see a fellow steel town person here.

rm_MovieBuff333 43M
28 posts
6/11/2005 6:35 pm


Thankyou for hopping on my Blog. I've seen you around the site a bit, so it's good to see you on here. Wow, a fellow Hammer...what were the odds? (Grin) Good to see a local writer. I've seen your own work, some of it is rather (cough cough) uhhhh...uplifting...a talented hand. I've seen some good writing on here, even some of the other people dropping in to leave comments have fantastic skills. I'm glad to get a bit of exposure.

Yes, people on this site show off their more rawly sexual side because in the public eye that just doesn't fly. People judge negatively. So in public people are conservative and online they're more randy.

But still...I don't view this site as a wide-variety sex buffet. I mean I have to admit this would be Player-heaven...casual sex is the special of the day everyday. I'm not going to judge those who are on here that mutually want that...but I will judge those who pretend to be serious when they're only playing. No matter how good the sex may be, nobody likes to be the pawn. (Sigh)

But still, the odds of finding someone on here that's both sexual and sincere about staying more than one night...hmmm I've got to believe there's someone on here like that. If not then I've got to accept I'm fishing in the wrong pond...

Take care & keep writing well,

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