It's a Boy  

rm_MiVidaLoca25 36F
45 posts
1/8/2006 4:39 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

It's a Boy

Ah,, funny huh?

One of my ex husband's party women gave birth to his first son today.

I am not sure how I feel about this.

The older I get, the more I realize that everything happens for a reason. I still cannot seem to combat the questions that are surfacing. Why wasn't it me? Why would he want such despicable women to raise his children? Why does the nice guy always finish last? Do I even care considering the circumstances? And if I do, then why?

He wants to be with me, it's been that way for 12 years. I am home to him. Home is just never where he stays for very long. I can't compete with that, I deserve so much more. Watching his back as he walks away, after I deny him, the pain is gut-wrenching. My decisions are overly justified, as torn as I am.

I am sticking to this year's resolution. Not only have I put my foot down, but I am ready to shove it in somebody's ass. I choose to feel nothing.

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