I can't feel my ass!!  

rm_MariGrrl 39F
2485 posts
6/8/2006 11:45 am

Last Read:
6/13/2006 9:48 pm

I can't feel my ass!!

I'm noticing that the closer I get to thirty the less fun it is to go in for check ups. I feel less like a woman at the doctors and more like a used car going in to Jiffy Lube.

In this last year, I've been told that I have high cholesterol (thus the health kick) along with various other minor medical irritants. Nothing life threatening and all stuff that comes with time.

But, now I have to go in and have a biopsy done on a questionable mole. The biopsy itself doesn't really bug me. The procedure though, yuk! I am not a big fan of needles or any other kind of sharp medical instruments. Today I get both. My "beauty mark" is on my tail bone and so first goes the needle to numb it and then goes the razor to remove it. This is gonna suck. And depending on how much anesthetic they use... my bottom will probably be numb for a bit.

I know, I know... too much information. But, I really hate going to the doctor's office. I mean at least Jiffy Lube gives you some coffee and donuts before they stick ya in the ass.

rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
6/8/2006 11:51 am

Everything will work out. A little general maintenance is always recommended. Keep you purring just like new.

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 4:25 pm:
You're right. Although I don't really feel much like purring right now. They ended up doing more than I originally thought so I'm a bit sore.

MaggiesWishes 59F

6/8/2006 12:41 pm

OH my stars, too funny with the Jiffy Lube line.

Well... good medicine doesn't come without pain. If it tastes bad, it's naturally good for you, if it hurts, you have something to think about all day instead of worrying.

For a moment I thought you really lost your ass. I lost mine, too. I was hoping for a "Ass Recovery Team" ... not happening

Good Luck and all things come back normal.
Warm huggies 2ya little lady

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 4:25 pm:
Well, this should certainly be good for me then...lol.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
6/8/2006 12:56 pm

Jiffy Lube

If the Doc asks to rotate your tires tell him noooooooooo.

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 4:26 pm:
Yep, I told him no on the rotation and the fluid check... lol,

pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
6/8/2006 1:44 pm

I can understand that, good luck on the test!

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 4:27 pm:
Thanks, I should have the results later next week.

NiceGuyMush 46M

6/8/2006 1:50 pm

IN the words of "Shrek"

"Better out than in!"

Had 1/2 a dozen of the little succers removed, no dramas.
One little word of advice, Get some micropore tissue tape from the chemist (drug store as you guys call em), keep it over the wound after the stitches come off for about a month.

This will stop the new skin from stretching and leaving one of those strech scar marks...

Had on operation on my shins a few years ago and granted being a male I have hair on my legs, but you can barely find the scar and they were 20cm long on each leg.

Good luck siting on one but cheek for a few days!

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 4:28 pm:
LOL... ahhh if only it were just a cheek. But, it was right on my tailbone so no cute jeans for me for a few days.

Thanks for the tip on the micropore tissue tape. I will definatly have to pick some of that up... don't want a scar now

goodatpoetry2 66M
12406 posts
6/8/2006 2:09 pm

I've heard of a dumb ass, but a numb ass is a new one for me.

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 4:30 pm:
I'm a numb ass alright. The first 6 shots of lydocaine didn't do it... so I ended up with about 12 shots. All the while he was cracking jokes about all the "happy juice" that was going into my ass.

maverick1255 51M
3953 posts
6/8/2006 2:13 pm

I second Gerson42. Check ups are a good thing.

On getting older - my warranty expired somewhere around my 30th birthday. I started falling apart and looking for pain meds. LMAO!!

Now, about that ass! You have the perfect excuse to sit and blog all afternoon and well into the evening. You can sit for hours, with no feeling in your ass. ROFLMAO!!!


rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 4:32 pm:
Too bad its starting to wear off already. I must have an unusually high tolerance for anesthetics. It took twice as much to numb me as they thought and it started wearing off while they were stitching me up.

SleekIcilyVarix 41M

6/8/2006 4:52 pm

Sounds like a pain in the ass I hate trips to hospital for any reason, much less to be subjected to sharp objects. Hopefully the biopsy results will turn up negative. (That's always vexed me...if you get a test done, a positive result is bad news, but a negative result is good news.)

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 4:55 pm:
Thanks, I'm not all that concerned. They're just running it through to make sure they covered all their bases. Either way, I'll know in about a week.

bulging_boy 49M

6/8/2006 8:01 pm

I have a fear (largely founded) of taking my kids to get a mole such as yours removed.

In this likely scenario, the doctor looks at me and with a disgusted snarl says That's no *fucking* mole. That's airborne follow through that bounced off the inside of their pants

Of course I'd look mortified until I got home, where I'd laugh maniacally that he touched it.

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 10:00 pm:
omg..... lmao

n0tatalker 39M

6/8/2006 8:14 pm

w0w! alot of people have alot to say about the c0ffee at jiffy lube!

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 10:00 pm:
And here I thought people just liked hearing about my ass...lol

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

6/8/2006 8:30 pm

LMFAO at that pic Grrl your crack me the fuck up...Hope all go well for you...Ready


rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 10:02 pm:
Thanks Ready, Everything went fine. Unfortunatly for me though the shots they gave me have long since wore off so I'm a bit tender. Mind sharing some of those pain meds of yours?

jakblack36 48M

6/8/2006 8:57 pm

I have coffee and donuts. I am so pissed that I have never thought of offering these to my partner. Fuck, just thinking about all that ass fucking I could have been doing!!!! I gotta get me, some Dunkin Donut's coffee and hot Krispy Kreme originals. Let the ass fuckin start!!

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 10:06 pm:
Ass fucking? Sorry no ass fucking for a while...lol. I've had enough of being poked today thank you very much.

flagg134 36M
1582 posts
6/8/2006 8:58 pm

Glad to hear that the biopsy went over relatively painless. Must've been pretty uncomfortable I can't stand people poking around my body. Thanks for reminding me I have to go see my doctor soon and schedule a check up. ~sigh~


rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/8/2006 10:08 pm:
Uncomfortable wasn't the word for it. There were some students (or new employees or something) observing. I had half a dozen people staring at my bare ass this afternoon. It was like a call went out over the hospital speakers, "Anyone who would like to see Mari's naked bottom please report to Dr. ******'s office stat!"

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

6/9/2006 3:50 pm

If I could shove them threw the screen to you I would in a heart beat just got my last refill and I am flying the friendly sky's and It LONELY UP HERE...Ready


rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/9/2006 7:03 pm:
It's okay, Ready... the thoughts what counts. Thanks

BikerDude1200 60M

6/13/2006 9:43 pm

And wait til they read the order closer and find out they were supposed to remove a molar!! Dude...wrong end!!

rm_MariGrrl replies on 6/13/2006 9:49 pm:
OMG... I hope not!

LMFAO Biker, you quack me up!

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