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Real life story..... part 2
Real life story..... part 2
In the darkness of my room, I can hear footsteps, and then i feel a touch on my leg.. "If you do this
Quietly, I will leave your sister alone." I wanted to protect my sister, So i did what i had to do, I layed
there silently while he did what he had to do.....
The attack wasnt rough and mean, but scarry just the same. Exploring unfamiliar teretories, in which i
wasnt able to give a name. Details are left out on purpose. Master K did his thing like he would for
many years to come, then he left my room silently just before the morn.
Several years later, carrying on my normal routine. Although sis had left home it was still the same.
Get up in the morning, get ready for school, go into moms room and kiss her sleeping face. Then down
the road to school. But this day there was an assembly in the gym, I was so excited not knowing what
it was about. then as i mentioned before, my whole world changed this day.
I begain to see that what Master K had done to me was wrong. Crazy that a small part of me didnt
want it to stop. I had told a friend of mine what he would do, and I sure hope she didnt tell now. But
the woman kept saying "If you know, you should tell" Would Susie tell my secret??? I just didnt know.
I looked over at her, and she was looking at me. I must of gave her one of those "please dont tell" looks
cause she quickly glanced away.
A week or two past, maybe longer, maybe shorterand my mother cornered me in our kitchen. she wasnt
alone, her friend Heidi was there, which made it hard for me to talk to mom. Mom asked me, Does he
touch you? (i think to myself, duhh u didnt know?) and i just shook my head yes. I wanted to tell
her everything i wanted her to believe me. She asked me all kinds of questions, like where, and how?
Omg im just a kid, too embarrased to tell. When she asked me where, I told her my privates, and then
as she wanted me to be more specific, i found that embarassment had set in. I must of did something
terribly wrong cause there was a tear in her eye. (then somewhere deep inside me I heard Master Ks voice
"If you tell, I will hurt not only your sister, but your mother too" ) So then i got mad, and said to
her, "I lied mom, nothing has ever happened to me" Mom smiled with relief and went about her day.
After many more of his visits to my room and to my bathtime, and many visits to what i called
"the spooky church" I had decided that i was old enuff to have a choice. Well when i turned down his
advances, the shocked look on his face, instead of beating me, or making me do it, I could hear my
mom cry from the other room. i dont know what he did, guess i never will. But i had made a choice
that day. The next night, another attempt to get me to submit to him, and i did. I didnt like my mothers
cries, so i did as i was told, resenting every moment of it, and seperating myself from my helpless body.
I watched him come in night after night, month after month, from the upper corner of my room. No
one knows how i did that, not even me, But i wasnt gonna let him touch the only part of me that he
couldnt reach, my soul.
To be continued.....
Got to go before im late for work, but there is more to come.
4/23/2006 8:43 am
It sounds like you had a seriously messed up start in this life. I hope you're getting straightened out, because it doesn't sound like you're quite over the early abuses. Is he still on the loose, or out of the way at last?|
4/23/2006 11:39 am
Oh Sissy! *hugs* Yes You have surprised me on remembering the church. The rest of what You put here i already knew. W/we have survived so much and i am so glad W/we have each other. Please unless this is positive and cathartic for You...don't dwell on this. and i in telling my becomming...spared the details to not titalate the assholes who will never understand the depth of the darkness that was our childhood. Don't put it here unless You are sure You can handle the negatives and the positives of it. i will never judge You on this ...for most of it i was there beside you ...*hugs* i love You Sissy regaurdless and will support You always. c|
4/23/2006 6:09 pm
yes sis, a laxative.. yeah.. that is what this is.. gettin rid of old shit outta my head so i can go on to live a semi-normal life.. (normal? what is that).. lol.. |
thanks to both of u for commenting on my blog.