Its My Life Now!!  

rm_MamCsDawne 46F
290 posts
12/17/2005 2:10 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Its My Life Now!!

Ya know.. it is a crazy thing.. sometimes i go thru days or weeks or even months and i dont think about my past.. but the crazy thing is.. I wouldnt be who i am if i didnt have a past like the one i have.. Dont feel sorry for me.. because in many ways the things that i have went thru in my past are why I am able to be so strong.. It is why i can write about things that others can only just think about.. I dont allow my past to torment me or haunt me.. Crazy thing is.. at one time i wasnt the one making all my decisissions.. but now it is me.. I decide what to wear.. what to say and who to say it to.. I decide what type of future i want.. I am more in control of my life now than i have ever been in my past..

I know sometimes in here I write about my childhood, things i went thru, things that were done not only to me but others.. When i was going thru this I heard it said that 1 in 5 girls of that age range were going thru the exact same thing or very similar.. Sadly that number has increased to about 2 out of 3 for my age group back in the early 80's...
But many of us have outgrown the boundries that were set down for us by the perpetrators..And I for one have outgrown my past and learned to use the strengths that i developed from the alful past that i had..

So dont feel sorry for me.. just encourage me to keep going..

As u can see.. im very happy in my life.. and I am the one in control of my future..

rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
12/17/2005 6:56 pm

Keep going then, baby-pop!

rm_Smile_My_Way 59M
1519 posts
12/19/2005 5:06 pm

You are right, what happen in the past has a direct impact on what you are today. You would have turn out very different had your step father never touched you. The reason you don't think of it for days or weeks is that it is a very bad thought that you are trying hard to forget. The past is controlling you more than you may know. I have seen this many times. Kids who are abuse, after the abuse, will do things that the rest of us would not even think of doing. I would list some, but they are not pretty. So as I said before "I feel sorry for you" and hope that you will forgive me and seek some professional help, to get you though this.

rm_MamCsDawne 46F
218 posts
12/19/2005 9:43 pm

I have been thru counseling.. this is why i can say some of the things i say.. and smile as much as i do.. I would be a very different hidden someone if not for the extensive therephy that i have been thru.. Bless you smile.. thanks for caring .. .. thanks also to you Voodoo....

rm_Smile_My_Way 59M
1519 posts
12/20/2005 5:24 pm

You are welcome. I mean well. I do care as well too.

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