To speak...  

rm_MKidFE 36M
1 posts
1/14/2006 8:34 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

To speak...

I haven't had much time to update this in quite some time... not that anyone has really noticed, I would imagine. But oh well.

School, work, social life (or lack there of), have been keeping me in tangles for the most part. It's funny how life can keep one either twisting in the wind with one obstacle to overcome, or have absolutely nothing at all in which to do. But maybe I'm just rambling with that concept of thought.

Anyway, my social life isn't much of a hooray right now. I am searching for answers, yet again, for what seems like the billionth time in my life. That aspect can range anywhere from school, to how to talk to someone cute. I have a pretty major inferiority complex, not having had much of a confident childhood in which to base my current life on. People can only be so much with what they've been dealt with throughout lifes initial beginnings, and since I have not had much to draw on, it makes things now that much more difficult.

I look at someone that I would consider 'cute' or 'attractive' and I almost promptly rule them out, thinking I am neither worth their time, or I am below their standards, and I never make any attempt. It's pretty pathetic, right?

I have tried all manner of ways in which to make myself more appealing to others: clothes, skills, demeanor, etc. It's unnerving how much I have actually revolutionized myself just so that I might get an occasional glance.

I am truly not happy this way, and it's upsetting and disheartening, but I am at a loss for what else to do to make things work for me.

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