|Blogs > rm_Luscious2BBW > Luscious leanings...|
A good friend sent this to me sometime this month, and as I am horrible at checking that particular account I just opened it tonight.
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________,2005 by___________________
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to
repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the
events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading
with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called
the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's
only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really
none of your dang business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not
friends, just fuck buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything
behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your
ass up, get dressed, and go the fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be:
"My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less
eye contact the better.
18. NO condoms, NO fucking. Carry your ass home.
19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back
looking for your ass.
21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or
alternate who's paying....you pay this time, I pay next.
22. Don't bring any of your friends with you, unless they're
gonna join the party.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the
agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms
of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you
will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone
memory and email list. In otherwords, you will be BLOCKED from all
communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
11/2/2005 7:12 pm
That is totally hilarious - and would save alot of these stupid idiots on the Judge shows and Maury Pauvich from showing up.|