Why am I still single? Let's have a break from my usual bullshit.  

rm_LoyalCumpany 46M
2036 posts
5/9/2006 2:14 am

Last Read:
5/12/2006 8:12 pm

Why am I still single? Let's have a break from my usual bullshit.

Warning: Yet another rare common serious post here.
Someone asked why I was still single in one of my recent entries. And it got me thinking about it (again. I think about it a lot sometimes, especially here). So to answer that question, let's delve a little deeper into the enigma that is LoyalCumpany, shall we?

I shouldn't be single. Should have been married last year. I blogged previously about my ex-GF and the shit that happened. Here's a little more about that.

I had the ring, and the place in mind to pop the question. Had the whole thing planned out. I was going to take her back to the movie theater we had gone to on our very first date, exactly 2 years to the day after we had had that date, buy the tickets, watch some movie she wanted to see, just a normal date thing. Then on the way out, with the crowd coming in and out of the door, kneel down just outside the door and ask.

But, before that day came, the wheels fell off, bounced off the guardrail, and crashed right back through the windshield. I found out about all the lies and bullshit, and threw her out of my life. Pawned the ring soon after, just to get it out of my sight.

Was a little gunshy for a while after. Not in a can't get it up gunshy, but a WTF did I do wrong gunshy. It's been a while, and the experience now is almost funny now. If I didn't miss the boy, it wouldn't bother me at all any more. I suppose for the rest of my life I'll wonder whatever became of him and how he's grown up dealing with his early years.

And right after that I met the perfect woman. We had a month of amazing nights, talks, dinners, everything I was missing out on. But she already had plans to move out of town and left soon after we met.

I won't go into many details of other relationships, I've already blogged about one of the dancers I dated, and the other was more of a fling, but was still fun.

So what does this all have to do with anything? Well, I'll tell ya. It all comes back down to what I started babbling about on this site about. Honesty. I have met and/or chatted with some women from here, and honesty seems to be a rare commodity. I still can't figure out why, as the anonymity here should be enough to almost guarantee honesty. But, human nature being what it is, people still lie about whatever they might feel is unattractive about themselves. Or you have to drag information out of them with incessant questions that sound more like a job interview. And that's not sexy.

I'm still single because I haven't found that someone who can be completely freakin honest with me. The few I have found aren't physically attracted to me, or I'm not rich enough, or whatever. That's fine. In fact, that makes me like them even more because they're honest enough to TELL ME.

I am not nearly as gullible as I sometimes act. I do act that way sometimes, only when it suits me (ala absurd stories I post here). I'm intelligent enough to figure out a lot of things from the way people talk, act, or type. It's not a trust issue, as that has never been something I've had a problem with. I always give someone the benefit of the doubt, but record the lies (maybe not specifically, but the circumstances) and it affects the way I might treat that person from that point on.

Let's talk about physical attraction. In all of my past relationships, the woman has been smaller than me. Why? Because I was only attracted to thin women. Now, it's not as much of an issue as it was before, as women get older, they tend to have had children, and that can add some weight. That's fine. I'm more into personality now than I ever was before.

So there it is. I'm still single because I haven't found the "one". I have no doubts that I might have missed out on something somewhere, but she couldn't have been the one. I would have seen or felt that.

Did this help explain why I'm still single? Who knows? Maybe it helps explain me a little more though...

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!

rm_mmmgoodnova 105M/105F
1259 posts
5/9/2006 2:22 am

Honesty is a rare commodity on here--and it's not limited to singles. We got stood up by a couple the other day, as I ranted in my blog. Well, actually maybe it really was a single, too; who knows? I'm not usually gullible, either but this whole online dating/meeting thing confounds normal protocol.

Hang in there, the right one (or the right one for right now) will come along. You're a smart, witty guy and you're not bad looking, either. Right now your life sounds pretty full, time-wise...and it's hard to juggle everything.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 3:19 pm:
So you think it was a single guy posing as a couple? Wouldn't surprise me. A guy will do about anything to get laid around here...

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
9753 posts
5/9/2006 3:52 am

I am glad you are be patient and waiting for the right one. Love happens when you least expect it!

Purry {=}


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 3:21 pm:
I'm waiting for the right one to marry, but I'm an adult and stil need to satisfy other urges too...

JeersPilarSaver 35F

5/9/2006 6:31 am

yes yes, its really serious post here.
ok loyalcumpany, didnt mean to judge u or what, but from the way u talk about ex gf that u almost marry, it seems that u havent completely forget about her. damn, i know how hurt it is, im supposed to get married too, THIS YEAR!! but im soooooo glad it didnt happen now! i always say to myself that i already got over him. and i did, but i dunno if this hurt will ever heal from my heart!
and honesty....of course honesty is rare things know. what do u expect??u can see this whole world turning down right?? and its not getting better, its getting worst. (8yrs i never cheat, never lie..yes never!, and im open all myself for him, and look what i got??) so loyalcumpany....the condition that make all of us act like this. im sure u also didnt 100% honest with people u havent know or u know but havent met,right??
i still believe in honesty...(cuz i also expect it too! u can see it in my profile) but i think nowadays it only can be built slowly between 2 person that try to know each other.

and about ure last paragraph...no, u didnt missed out on something somewhere. dont think like that...u didnt missed out on something at all cuz she hasnt come yet. there's a perfect time for everything.
just be patient

umm...lets talk about visa and stuff now

ps. sorry 4 post too long comment

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 3:26 pm:
No, I'll never forget about her, only because of the child involved. Otherwise I wouldn't give much of a damn anymore.

I've been completely open and honest here. I realized almost from the start that honesty would make me stand out from the others. I'm sure there are things I haven't said, but only because the topic hasn't come up or no one's asked and brought it to mind.

Ooh, Visa.

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
5/9/2006 7:12 am

This was a really good post. I went back and read the story about your ex. Wow. You have been through a lot my friend. Of course you were gunshy about relationships. Not only did you put up with so much bullshit, then there was the whole lesbian thing. I can definitely see how an experience like that can make you feel like, who can I trust? You are absolutely correct, honesty is the most important thing and is a rare commodity, as you say.
I guess the positives out of this whole experience are that (1) you didn't marry her and (2) it was a learning experience. You know now the things that are most important in a relationship. And I do believe you will one day find what you deserve. You know, I always hear stories from women about men who are liars, cheaters, etc. But it happens to men too. I'm sorry for your experience, but at least you are out there again. And you are on the right track with school, etc. You are an excellent writer and I enjoy hearing your stories. Good luck to you...you deserve a special woman who will treat you as well as you treat her. True love has no room for the jealousy you experienced with the ex either. Never compromise who you are for a woman. OK, I am rambling now.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 3:42 pm:
Here I'm not looking for love. Here I'm looking for a sexual relationship to explore fantasies and such. I suppose there's always a chance there could be more, but I'm not looking for it. But I'd still need honesty. Can't just have sex with a woman unless I felt they were honest with me.

I appreciate the comment, and the very nice things you said.

Seriously_Real 48M

5/9/2006 7:44 am

Loyal, buddy...I hear you, man. I hear you wondering how you could have been so wrong, how your timing could have been so bad, how the people could have disappointed you so much....I hear all of that, and I'm sorry about that. I really am.

Sometimes we can get down and stew on it, and I've been that guy. I've lost everything, and recently at that.

But I have always believed. I never stopped believing.

I turned the corner one day and there it was. There are so many ridiculous-sounding cliches about this topic that it is easy to discount them all, but I'm going to tell you what I -- the poet, romantic, dreamer, Serious Man of Blogville -- honestly believe:

You don't find love. Love finds you.

Sounds silly, and trite, and really hard to implement because there's literally nothing TO do. But I'm telling you the truth on it and I believe it with all my heart.

You know how you'll be having a conversation and forget what you were about to say? You lose your train of thought and it was an important piece of information or opinion you wanted to impart? We've all done that, of course, it is how the mind works. So you sit there, retrace your steps, try to remember, and you can't do it. The more you try the more it eludes you.

Scientists have learned that the memory works in a circle, and that if you leave the topic and the search for the "missing idea" alone, your brain with naturally uncover it for you. The key is to stop looking.

And it is the same thing here.

So what do you do in the meantime? You do exactly what you are doing -- enjoying life, meeting people, and complaining about not getting laid. But looking for "Her" isn't going to get you there.

Love you, man. Good luck.


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 3:43 pm:
I'll repeat a little. Here I'm not looking for love. Here I'm looking to get laid (and complaining about not getting laid). Still need honesty though.

Thanks for the comment, bro. You seem like a decent guy, and if we were ever POW's...

rm_bucfannn 61M/60F
2110 posts
5/9/2006 8:13 am

You don't find love. Love finds you.

Yep, I totally agree with Seriously.

It's the "when you least expect it" kinda thing. I, personally, have stopped looking. I'm done. I've got two that I'm seeing right now. One is more casual than the other, but, that's all I want on my plate.

I admit, when I first became single, I was out all the time. Meeting different ones, having fun. But, you know what? It got old quick. I'm so ready for normalcy now.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 3:45 pm:
I gotta say, it's much easier for women here than men. We all know that. I'd take some of the exploration right now, though. I'm going to have a summer of not much to do (except I have something planned that I probably can't mention on this site)...

Yummy_Gooeyness 31F

5/9/2006 9:14 am

I'm a bit of a spiritual person. I don't believe that God is up their controlling us like marionettes but everything happens for a reason. Unfortunately sometimes we have to experience bad thing to makes us wiser, stronger, and to help us appreciate the really great thing when they come along.

I know I'm young so I couldn't possibly understand but I do. i recently ended a 3 year long "growing experience" that's left me a little lower than where I was when it started. But I've learned SO much from it that I'm almost glad that it happened. Sometimes I wonder with my current situation if I'll ever find The One but you gotta just keep living your life and eventually everything will fall into place.

Great post Loyal!

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 3:49 pm:
We all learn from our experiences (unless we're insane and we keep doing the same thing over and over). Doesn't matter how old or young you are, but what we experience will affect our future actions. Me, it brought me to this site, and this blog, where I get to babble about me and read what other people have to say. Meeting some interesting folks this way...

Did I say something? Huh? Still lookin... ah, nm. Not hte right post for that.

Synn74 42F
1206 posts
5/9/2006 11:45 am

wow all this from my why are you single comment

awesome post Loyal!!!

you are funny witty adorable and passionate within your blogs

I hope whenlove comes your way it's everything you want it to be and more!!!!

I'll be cheering you all the way

I welcome you to the House of Syn...

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 3:52 pm:
Yeah, Synn, you started it! Still waiting for a better look at those piercings....

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11238 posts
5/9/2006 2:01 pm

very gud post, and gud commentz too

there are many who simply can't handle honesty.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 3:59 pm:
Hehe, I was gonna make some crack about this coming from a Venutian, but I won't. I have my crush on you and wouldn't want to scare you away.

rm_aqustic2 44M
1335 posts
5/9/2006 2:23 pm

think you need to chill a little, i`m big on honesty myself and hear where your coming from on a lot of your post but people somrtimes fib, lie whatever even to myselfs for lots of differant reasons, makes them feel better about myselfs, or cant handle the truth. if people cant have you for who you are then they arnt worth having themselfs telling lies is to hard work to much to remember. with my memory gee sure theres days i have to ask myself who i am.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 4:02 pm:
If you read some of my previous posts (not the ones I linked to here), you'll see I am normally a fun loving guy who gets a little absurd with his humor. But when I get serious, I am honest about who I am and what I expect from a woman. Granted, there's a lot of I haven't gotten to yet, but only because it hasn't been asked or I just hadn't thought about it.

sensually_4ever 42M/F

5/9/2006 2:50 pm


Honesty really is a kicker isn't it?

I wish I could say That I was totally honest in all my endeavors.. and I have always tried to be.. but as time goes on.. I am learning that there are more shades of gray than I ever knew.

That comment doesn't make me sound good does it?

Sometimes...loyal... I wish I was other than who I am.. and That saddens me.

It was a very good post my dear.. and it struck close to the bone.. Like SD30 I am almost crying.

But then. maybe it's horomones...


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 4:04 pm:
No one should be ashamed of who they are. You have to be honest, or you'll be unhappy all the time. Maybe that's why I'm such a goofball, I can honestly tell myself who I am and just roll with it.

Don't cry, Sens. I still like you, no matter what.

ArtisticTwist75 41F
2505 posts
5/9/2006 7:23 pm

Monster Hugs to you Loyal. Don't ever give up.


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/9/2006 11:59 pm:
I won't. I can't. Then I'd be like every other slug here that's just trying to carve up his bedpost with notches.

Thanks for the hugs.

mangomamiCT 41F

5/9/2006 9:06 pm

Oh please , Men hate my brand of honesty , men prefer the dumb giggly girl , you know it , fess up !!! LOL

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/10/2006 12:03 am:
No, not even. One of the reasons I can't hit on the women I go to school with is they're too young and just not ready to be a WOMAN, ya know?

I'd take your honesty and brains any day. (And yeah, that pic ain't hurting either)

Smooth_GaL 34F
424 posts
5/9/2006 9:52 pm

It's always the best way to be honest though sometimes it makes you wonder if it is worth it ... Thinking about it now to be honest havin some that problems now too but thats another matter... Don't ever give up as love is always around the corner and will hit u when u least expect it... Trust me when it hits you, the sound of the crash spins ure reality...

{=} Smooth {=}

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/10/2006 12:08 am:
I might have to post about the possibility of finding love here. Not a lot of examples from what I've seen. Seriously and sexy are the only ones I can think of, but I haven't been here all that long.

jadedbabe78 105F

5/9/2006 10:07 pm

Good post....if only more people *would* be honest.

It's a hard cycle to break sometimes. Sadly.


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/10/2006 12:08 am:
It's a horrible cycle. That's why I say it's just so much easier to be upfront about it.

dirtynastygirl2 54F

5/9/2006 10:21 pm

Hey, I didn't really date for 3 years and no sex for 2. That's all about to change thank you very much AdultFriendFinder.
Also for me getting married was an option I wished I opted out of.
It didn't work for me.
Who cares if you haven't been married. It sounds like you have had close relationships with women. You know how to do that.
I tried to do the look beyond physical attraction and married him. If I am not physically attracted to someone it just won't last. I must have the heat of attraction to their looks, smell, taste, voice and touch. Got to have it all. I figure it is coming my way soon.
Hey, thanks for checking out my blog.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/10/2006 12:13 am:
Here's another Phoenician! And it's one lucky lady I didn't send the dare message to!

There is one good thing about me finding out before I popped the question. I hadn't popped the question.

I wish you luck here, it appears you're on your way of having some fun. Maybe I should have sent you that dare message after all...

caressmewell 53F

5/9/2006 11:06 pm

Great but bittersweet post! I hear ya on the honesty...it's a value that is in short supply. It's so much easier to be honest that to keep track of the lies, white lies, fibs etc. I wish you the best..stick to your guns and don't settle.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/10/2006 12:19 am:
Bittersweet. Good description.

Lies have a way of surfacing after a while. Truth has a way of settling in and just being.

rm_truedom2 55M
663 posts
5/12/2006 4:44 am

I think thats a good attitude. I'm here to make some new friends, blog and perhaps find out a little more about myself in the process. And if I happen to get laid every once in a while thats a bonus. I think expectations above that are unrealistic.
I also wonder why people can't be more honest here, I think most of the Bloggers are. (At least the one I follow)

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/12/2006 5:03 am:
Seems like most of the bloggers have to be pretty honest. It's hard to blog lie after lie, isn't it?

Mebbe not, but methinks people would figure it out.

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