When did I become a woman here?  

rm_LoyalCumpany 46M
2036 posts
4/23/2006 4:59 pm

Last Read:
5/3/2006 1:16 am

When did I become a woman here?

I come back from watching the game at my parents (Lakers suck, Kobe sucks, L.A. sucks. Go Suns!) and find 3 ummm... interesting messages in my inbox.

First, WTF. I have a message supposedly from a guy with the subject line of "cum fuck me now". LOL. Dude, in which fucking post, profile, or comment I've made anywhere does it say I have any desire for a gay experience? Ohh yeahhh... I did have a blog entry titled "What was up my ass last night". ROFLMAO... I had been staring at that title thinking I should change it. He should have actually read it. He sent me a GREAT picture of his ass, to boot. I actually had to double check his profile to see if he had registered as a guy (He shaves his ass?. And I thought I was anal about cleanliness). I read the message, and it looks like one of those usual scams with an email addy and YIM. Listen, if you're going to try and scam me, AT LEAST READ MY PROFILE TO MAKE SURE YOUR FAKE PROFILE IS THE RIGHT SEX!!!!

God, I hope he was fake. My fellow men can't really be that stupid can they?

Next up, a message from a large older lady offering to suck me off so I can have a better story to tell my Dad about how I spent my weekend. She gets bonus points in my soon to be offered new course, "AdultFriendFinder etiquette, and how to get a favroable response" for originality and bluntness. Extra credit if she realized she might become fodder for the blog. She would fail the course for not reading further, but passes for having the courtesy to not send a picture of her anatomy.

Last, a message from my muse with some cut and pasted messages she has received today. I had asked her to send me some of the moronic shit women get, and she obliged.

The first one is definitely in the advanced claases of my current subject, "How Not To Get Laid". His had something to do with a local sports team and sex in some wierd poetic style. Definitely two of my favorite subjects, and he's got style for finding a way to fuse them together.

2nd was the usual "hey, here for the weekend. here's my phone #. let's fuck" thing. No style, no class. That guy must have the doctorate degree I've been working on.

I feel violated. Someone give me hug. Or a blowjob. If you're not one of the people I just wrote about. A pat on the ass? On the head? Slap in the face? Nose hairs in my beer?

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!

sexwyounow 50M

4/23/2006 6:22 pm

Ummmmmmmm I'm a guy but I get the same fucking bullshit! I even got a network invitation from a guy. God! You are right on target! This dude wanted to fuck me in the ass! God damn my profile does not say anything about men. In fact it stipulates no men or pain!!!

How the fuck did he shave his ass? LOL LMAO ROTFL

I feel sick to when a guy instant messages me or sends me a invite or email. Good god! Read the fucking profile if your looking to fuck a guy in the ass but nothing is going up my ass!! Well unless the woman I am with gets a little adventurous with her hands!!!

Sorry but I can't give you a hug! Would look bad on this site!!!!

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/23/2006 7:21 pm:
Hey, thanks for the comment, and a double thanks for the restraint on the physical contact.

I did have an urge to ask how he shaved his ass, but do I really want to know something like that? Sick thing is, with all the other facts and figures I have to study, if he told me, I'd remember.

I refuse to get on the IMC thing anymore. It's like walking sperm bank and diving right in. *sploosh*

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/23/2006 7:59 pm:
damn typos. ruin the whole joke. should be "walking INTO A sperm bank.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
4/23/2006 8:06 pm

LMAO...sorry Dude...only thing worse than no attention is the wrong kind..LOL


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/23/2006 8:31 pm:
LOL. Actually, it gives me material. I'm afraid to say I almost enjoy it, because I'd be setting myself up to receive messages that would make even a cry and hide under her bed.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/24/2006 6:00 am:
LOL. It's unwanted, but it gives me good material to rant about.

JeersPilarSaver 35F

4/24/2006 4:16 am

wuahhh...sorry to hear that but i think maybe ur looking too good so u attract gay , lol. lemme give u gugs *hugsssssss*


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/24/2006 6:06 am:
Well hi there Mystic! My self promotion on your blog brought you here to mine? Definitely the attention I want {=} I'll take all the hugs I can get.

velvethandsNZ 68M

4/25/2006 10:17 pm

Gays have rights too I hear someone saying

not on my profile or inbox anyway - and yours should be equally inviolate!

I think you and Mystic should eat Pizza together M8

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/25/2006 11:14 pm:
Amen. Anyone can comment here, but I have stated many times, women only (I suppose if a guy had something clean and honest to ask and was too embarassed to post it here, that'd be acceptable).

JeersPilarSaver 35F

4/27/2006 4:07 am

hey velvethandsNZ
eat pizza together??? hmm nice idea, what do u think loyalcumpany??? pick me up tonite hehehehehe

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/27/2006 6:50 am:
Pizza? With you? Tonight?

Guessing you like sausage with your pizza. I'd be more than happy to provide that. {=}

Become a member to create a blog