posts 4/21/2006 3:43 am
6/4/2006 9:34 pm
There's more than one way to skin a cat
| Yesterday morning I wrote a little about the 2 cats I have here. Well, the monster male cat has some extremely long hair, and he will NOT let me brush him. Anyone else, especially women, he adores it when they do it. Me, no way. I'd call him a traitor but it's one of the things I like about him. No gay cat here, nuh uh.|
Every so often his system gets so freakin backed up with hair it's pitiful. About every 5 or 10 minutes he just sits there and hacks. He rarely spits it up, but man, does he go to town trying to keep it down. Great music to try and listen to when you're trying to get to sleep.
It's that time of the year again. So I am preparing to do what I usually do when this starts happening. I am going to shave him this weekend. (Yeah, I could have put some misleading title on this entry and probably increased my views tenfold. "I love to shave my pussy" ""I like to feel that shaved pussy" blah blah blah). Too cheesy and corny even for me.
I've brought him to a groomer before, down the street. They did a great job but they charged me 80 bucks. I understand why. Shaving a cat. lol. They said they do it more often that I might think, and he actually behaved better than most dogs. But 80 bucks? I'm a do it yourself type guy anyway.
So, try to picture a 17.5 lb cat (I need to go buy a digital camera and post a pic. I've been thinking about getting one this weekend, so I'll try and get a before and after pic, if anyone cares to see). Large, muscular, and, well, a cat. This is a step by step (sort of) way to shave an active pussy (I couldn't resist any more).
First things first, I trim that fucker's nails. His paws are about as wide as 2 of my fingers. Oddly enough, he lets me do this without too much fight. I don't think he's figured out the pattern yet. I grab the other cat first and do hers, because she hates it and if she sees me doing it to him, it'll take days before I can catch her.
I let him go while I grab the clippers, a towel, and his shampoo. I lay the towel down in the tub so he'll have some traction. I live in an apartment and this is the best place to keep all the hair from spreading. I plug the clippers in and bring it into the bathroom, placing it by the tub.
After that, I put on shorts. The first time I actually garbed up with jeans, shoes, long sleeved shirt, gloves, hat... this is Arizona in springtime. I will never do that again.
THEN I go grab him. Now he's just about figured out what's going to happen and he's not happy. Too bad. I shut the bathroom door behind me and put him into the tub. I grab the clippers and put him back into the tub. I shut the shower door, and then he just sort of gives in. He lays on the towel and I go to town with these clippers (Got them at Petco. Awesome power, guy said they should last for years). I try and give him the lion type cut, same as he got at the groomer's, but without the stupid little puffball at the tip. I laeave his tail alone.
Problem is, he just lays there. I can't get to his stomach very well. So he ends up looking like he's been laying in pillow stuffing for a while. But hey, he's a cat. I finish him off with a washdown. He's not all that bothered by water, he tolerates it. He does reach his limit though and starts to get pissed, so I have to do this part quickly or my legs will be in shreds.
When I'm done, I have a raggedy ass looking cat. But who cares? I'm not showing him off or anything. He gets laughed at by my friends, of course. And when he gets up on the ledge of my patio, I'm sure the neighbors get a kick out of it. But it sure as hell stops the late night hacking alarm clock, and he HAS to be more comfortable in the summertime.
One of the best parts about it, the little cat HATES him after I've done all this. I think it's the shampoo smell, she was found by a pet resort, along with her sister, so I imagine she had a nice bath very young and it scarred her for life. But when the male cat enters the same room as her, she starts puffing her hair and hissing. It's freakin hilarious, this tiny cat trying to protect herself from this bald coconut smeling cat....
I am JoJo the Circus Boy!
posts4/21/2006 5:11 am
Ok, so now I have a picture of this poor pathetic cat... you mustn't laugh at him though. He will kill you while you sleep
I bathed a cat - once. I'm lucky I still have my arms intact. And, this was my very placid female. It was a lesson in self preservation, for sure... it's not something I care to repeat
|rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/22/2006 1:37 am:|
OK, I can't stand not letting these comments come out...
I posted a long story about shaving my pussy and all I get in return is a synopsis?
4/21/2006 5:24 am
OMFG!! I laughed so hard reading this I am wiping the tears away as I type! I had to leave you a post because I love cats, and am jealous of your pussies!!! Ha Ha couldn't resist either. You are a brave man tho, shaving your own cat!! |
|rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/22/2006 1:41 am:|
Ah, a new Loyal Cumpanite! You're a brave woman to be seen with me. After all, I shave cats. Shouldn't that be a little scary? Or is it worse that I actually blogged about it?
4/21/2006 5:28 am
oh god.. you had me laughing so hard I was almost in tears..
To think.. I almost became a groomer at one point..LOL
Cats are hilarious... all pomposity and dignity.. and when they loose that.. it is like a constant battle till they feel they have it again..
Not long ago I too used to have two cats.. a big one.. and the little one.. the little one.. never let her 'big brother" get away with anything.
This cat (I kid you not) once bulldog headlocked the other cat driving his head into he floor.. He got up.. I swear he cussed.. then pretended like nothing had happened...
Fondest memory of that cat to this date.
|rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 4/22/2006 2:02 am:|
Your cats sound like mine. I'd be bored as hell if I didn't have them around.