I'm losing focus on what I'm really doing here  

rm_LoyalCumpany 46M
2036 posts
4/24/2006 5:51 am

Last Read:
4/26/2006 7:06 pm

I'm losing focus on what I'm really doing here

OK, finished studying for the statistics test today, and have a little time for more brainema, another serious one. Sorry.

I started on this site to find a woman to have fun with, share intimacies with, and perhaps some tenderness. Have I succeeded? Yes and no. I'm making friends, yes. Am I succeeding in what I originally set out to do? Maybe. Haven't figured that out yet.

Please, do not take this the wrong way, those of you who have regularly posted and replied or I IM with. It seems to me that I am having success with women out of this city. I realize that it may feel much safer, and agree. And as we'll all agree, there hasn't been one erotic aspect about my previous posts (except for the unfinished story. That's on hold. Hope you get better wherever you are, Sens. I empathize). But as I'm looking for actual physical contact, and completely failing. How frustrating. I can do that anywhere.

I have tried reaching out to the local women on this site, and except for the one who I affectionately call my muse, have had such irregular and sporadic contact it's adding to the frustration. I receive about 2 replies, then nothing. And these aren't just standard members, some are paid memberships.

Of course that's going to feed into my self doubts. Hell, maybe I'm long winded here, but I'm not on the messages. I ask pertinent questions, nothing that should be considered offensive or pushy, but something happens to cease all contact. So I must be doing something wrong. Right?

I will probably have to cut my losses soon and just accept the fact that I'm not what the local women are looking for. Maybe try to find some other outlet for my frustration. I just don't see a better way with my hours at school and work until the semester ends. So I am going to give my profile one last makeover, and see what happens. I'll cut out most of the humor and just be me.

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!

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