I'm finally going to get laid!!!! Watch out Texas!!!  

rm_LoyalCumpany 46M
2036 posts
5/23/2006 7:47 am

Last Read:
5/25/2006 9:43 pm

I'm finally going to get laid!!!! Watch out Texas!!!

You heard it right! My sex drought is fuckin' over! Celibacy is for wusses!

I got a message from the girl of my dreams today! And I hadn't even written her before. My desperate writing has finally gotten through to someone!

Let me dissect this message, because I am in love and have to read it line by line!

Subject: *********(at)yandedot)ru

WTF? Oh well, who reads subjects anyway? Her picture is HOT! Gorgeous brunette with a smile!


THREE exclamation points? Oh my, she's excited all right!!!

My name is Irina

First name basis already? Not shy at all, must really like me!

I'm 28,an attractive and charming beautyful woman.

Younger, definitely attractive. And hell yeah, she's beautyful all right! Full of beauty (or somethyng)!

I'm looking for a serious relationship with a man.

And God knows she couldn't get that in Frisco, Texas! We all know there's only 2 things there... and serious relationships don't come from steers or queers!

I very much love the way you write and desire to get to know you better."

Hmmm.. she must be looking at my blog from somewhere else. Her name's not showing up on my visitor list. Wait! She must have found me on a search engine! Yeah, and she joined the site just to write me! Damn, I'm hot!

If you're serious about finding the right girl, then I could be the right
one. Are you seriously looking for love?

Wow, she's reading my mind. First thought that crossed my mind when I looked at the photo was "She's the one". Forget the right hand, I want the right girl!

If you want to ask me any questions then I will answer them directly but
I'm not interested in discussing any intimate or sexual matters

Any questions, but nothing intimate or sexual? WTF does that leave? What's your favorite color? Starting to sound like I'm not gonna get laid...

If you have some free time, email me at *********(at)yande dot)ru

Aw shit, email? And WTF address is that? Oh, it's Russian. That explains the shitty English. She must be in some sort of FBI relocation program to get from Russia to Texas.

If you email, then I shall send you a photo.

Now I'm confused. She HAS a photo. Is she talking about a naked photo? But she didn't want me to say anything intimate or sexual. Dammit, women are always confusing to me, especially the foreigners!

I think it will be very interesting.

Interesting indeed. Her English is getting better. Must be reading my blog to instruct herself...

With great impatience, I await your letter.

Hmmm... never said "great impatience" in my blog before. She must be wet and horny just thinking about me... too bad I can't ask her. Damn the no sexual stuff!

Your friend Irina!

SHIT! Now we're just friends???

She's in Texas, boys! Make sure you leave some of her for me!

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!

rm_bucfannn 61M/60F
2110 posts
5/23/2006 8:22 am

I personally think she is just playing hard to get. I would get a ticket for Frisco, Texas posthaste.

And, ask Your friend Irina! if she's got an older brother for me. We can double date.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 9:59 pm:
Double date? Forget it, I'm hoping she has some friendly sisters to tag along. Maybe I can finally fulfill my Russian bride fantasy...

rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
5/23/2006 8:33 am

Sounds to me like you need more time, your just not desperate enough or somethyng.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 10:02 pm:
More time to be desperate? What, 16 months of not getting laid isn't enough?

sexymamma662003 31F

5/23/2006 8:41 am

oh hell no. you are all mine. does she need an ass woopin? i think i could take her. what do youthink? oh shit better not start talking about that you might like that idea 2 girls fighting for ya


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 10:03 pm:
2 girls fighting for me? Uh oh, time to celbrate Masturbation Month some more, and I mean right freakin now...

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
5/23/2006 9:00 am

Good for you Loyal
Just don't get your hopes up (or anything else up) too hastily just yet....
I think you need to pursue this and keep us updated.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 10:05 pm:
I'm gonna assume ya skimmed, cuz I thought my sarcasm was pretty good here.

Either that or you can keep one hell of a straight face (or eye).

angelplusdevil 40F
203 posts
5/23/2006 9:33 am

i didn't instigate, yet, thats how i found a true kindred and fucking borderline sex perv, through becoming a groupie...nothing wrong with it.

men i know, here, have always placed me on a pedestal and shown me off as a trophy. the differences i see in blog/journalism, is that you share the biggest sex organ ever---your mind

i don't have droughts, BUT i chose a little um deeper stimulation...if irina doesn't work out, head down to houston, we'll exercise our intellect
best wishes, and just to emphasize, 5000 miles between my muse and i...

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 10:06 pm:
Well hell, now THIS is a reason to head to Texas! NON Russian hottie offering to exercise intellect...

Iwakura16Eyes 37F

5/23/2006 1:17 pm

someone was feeling facetious this morning, huh, schweetie...?

(the offer still stands for Russian vocab learnage... )

lub j00...

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 10:10 pm:
I'd rather practice my french on ya...

rm_mmmgoodnova 105M/105F
1259 posts
5/23/2006 3:13 pm

Oh, baby, you know you are just soooo unique and lucky dontcha? Da, da, da...all da way from Frisco. Pazhaluysta!!! (See, I'm excited FOR you, hence the 3 exclamation points right there.)

Hey her last name isn't, um, Slutskaya is it?

Beware the ohchen krasivaya dyevushki on the internet...

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 10:11 pm:
Wait wait, lemme write all this Russian down. I need to impress her with my email I'm gonna send.

How do you say "Fuck you, moron" in Russian?

sensually_4ever 42M/F

5/23/2006 4:35 pm

I have a whole witty comment.. and it won't let me post ittttttt

will try again in a couple of hours


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 10:11 pm:
Nooooo... and all ya left me was spam?

rm_Kingcat4U2 64M
2799 posts
5/23/2006 5:10 pm

She's just like the Russian "Matrushka" dolls. Keep peeling away layer after layer (as in a fat roll of greenbacks) and at the end you get...

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 10:12 pm:
YOu get the feeling you lost a lot of money, and in the end, isn't that all worth it?

dirtynastygirl2 54F

5/23/2006 8:58 pm

hmmmm...a little jealous....hmmmmm?


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 10:12 pm:
Who jealous? Where? Huh?

Synn74 42F
1206 posts
5/23/2006 9:59 pm

well geeze and all this time I thought you'd be pining for my return hehe

I welcome you to the House of Syn...

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 11:07 pm:
I DID pine. But you never sent me such a beautyfully wrytten message.

WB, Synn. Now I can go back to drooling over the piercings.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
5/23/2006 10:14 pm

Send me an email and I'll explain the Russian thing ... LOL!

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 11:10 pm:
Ooh, are you going to tell me about the Russin republic of Khakassia (Really, it exists)!

Heh, what is the whole butt thing about anyway? I look at your pic for the... background.

Hippink 35F
4499 posts
5/23/2006 10:32 pm

Maybe she doesn't want to talk about sex... she wants to just DO IT DO IT DO IT!
Hippie XXX

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/23/2006 11:11 pm:
If she doesn't wanna talk about sex or being intimate, that leaves me with nothin'.

Now, back to our pics...

ArtisticTwist75 41F
2505 posts
5/24/2006 2:29 am

This remindes me of a jester we know. To funny.


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/24/2006 12:01 pm:
This one doesn't seem like she need meds tho...

Hippink 35F
4499 posts
5/24/2006 5:05 am

Bah, who needs to talk? Your tongue is better used for other things.
MMmmmmmm, more pics!
Hippie XXX

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/24/2006 12:03 pm:
You want pics of my tongue now?

earthShiva 59M

5/24/2006 7:05 am

1. Celibacy is most definitely NOT for wusses!

2. Get the picture. It won't be the same.

3. She's only saying "nothing intimate or sexual" so you can bring out her submissive side.

4. Her real name is either Vladimir or Mtume.

5. She might be Nigerian after all. She needs to be discrete, after all.

6. If it's really love, none of this should matter.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/24/2006 12:04 pm:
I'm thinking "her" name has to be Vlad, the Impaler (ouch, I don't swing that way).

Synn74 42F
1206 posts
5/24/2006 7:15 am

I welcome you to the House of Syn...

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/24/2006 12:04 pm:
Hmmm.. open that smiley mouth wider....

MrNuttz05 49M

5/24/2006 5:25 pm

Wait a minute... Is she from Texas or Russia??? WTF? Hey, I credit it all to your charm And I think I can speak for all of the heterosexual males on this site.... 'You're HOT!'

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/24/2006 11:24 pm:
Texas, Russia, Nigeria.... I'm betting the end result would be the same. Pleas for my money. Just looked at my bank account, and.... HAH! Can't squeeze dollars out of cents...

Synn74 42F
1206 posts
5/24/2006 5:53 pm

you are tooo cute

I welcome you to the House of Syn...

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/24/2006 11:26 pm:
Uh oh, the dreaded "cute" word.

Smooth_GaL 34F
424 posts
5/24/2006 9:19 pm

Aha your finally might have someone closer Do get the pic as that would be interesting... She says no sex talk but trust me by the time ure down(done)with her she wouldnt be able to say anything but moan a lil here and there while catching her breath... Have faith in you


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/24/2006 11:28 pm:
If she was for real, I'd be all over her. Literally. Climbing like a little sex monkey (except for the throwing my own feces thing. Haven't done that since the last time I got laid).

waerlookin4fun 50M/46F

5/24/2006 9:31 pm

awwwww sweetie after reading the first part of your post I really thought you were serious.....man 16 freakin months.......I would've been committed by now

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/24/2006 11:29 pm:
Committed? You know, if they put me in a straitjacket I'd NEVER get any release. Not being able to celebrate Masturbation Month would sentence me to death.

sensually_4ever 42M/F

5/24/2006 10:47 pm

To: Loyalcompany


My Name is Sensually_4ever(if you are a real good boy, you will find out my real name in due time )

I am 31, so so looking, sorta charming, bountyfull woman.

I am not looking for a serious relationship but want a man for some serious boinkage

I very much love the way you write and desire to get to know you better.

If you are serious about, finding the right gal, then I could be the right one. Are you serious about finding a gal for nights of insanely hot monkey sex?

If you want to ask me any questions then I will answer them directly, but I am not interested in anything NOT intimate or sexual.

If you have some free time, email me at hardup4u@******.**

If you do email then I will send you a photo of my dog.

I think it will be very interesting.

With extrememly great impatience, I await you flying here to see me to fulfill my every need.

YOur friend Sens

OK so what does this letter say to you???

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/24/2006 11:35 pm:
Says to me that you want me to fly there so I can have fun with your dog?

sensually_4ever 42M/F

5/24/2006 10:49 pm

ok.. maybe it wasn't funny afterall??

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/25/2006 2:37 am:
It was funny. But now I have a fetish for your dog.

Where's the pic?

dirtynastygirl2 54F

5/25/2006 11:56 am

You are too pretty for her nasty ass!

Kiss Kiss

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/25/2006 9:45 pm:
Pretty? Me?

I've been called cute, sweet, and a jackass this week. I'll take pretty over those anyday.

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